|The Stag Party Continues
By an unknown author, later revealed as Alys Li
Author's note: The original Stag Party was created by the genius Darkhound and was originally supposed to have 5 parts. Due to popular support, he wrote up to part 12 before ending the series. But now ... hehehehe ... the party continues ...
[Transporting to another world where the Stag Party is happening. . .] Flicker, flicker, flicker, flicker. . . *bump* *splat* a rather profane flicker
[The other flickers look back and see that their companion has fallen and he can't get up. They look at each other, shrug helplessly, then continue on their merry way]
[The Wheel of Time turns. . . actually, the gears are starting to grind ...]
[3 men rush into Prince's Pelvis tavern. All three are covering their ears]
Rand: Whoever thought that the Wheel of Time would make so much
[Perrin saunters over to the pool table]
Rand: Hey, where's Mat?
[At the Mandragoran household]
[Lan is stuck to the wall with flows of Air. Nynaeve is glowing with the Power]
Nynaeve: And you thought about going out and having FUN?! (sniff)
(tug) What do you think this is, one of Darkhound's episodes? (a BIG sniff)
(tug) YOU don't go out and have fun. You stay home and have fun with ME!
[Meanwhile, back at the Prince's Pelvis]
Rand: Barman, when will Selene be performing?
[Suddenly, Lan rushes into the tavern. Rand and Thom rush over to him]
[Author turns to Thom]
Author: As for you. . .
[A poodle falls on Thom. Thom walks away muttering about his head ]
[Meanwhile, back at the Mandragoran household]
Nynaeve: (sniff) (tug) (tug) (tug) (sniff) And when I woke up,
I found him gone.
[Suddenly, the dormant karaoke machine springs to life. Nynaeve grabs the microphone and starts singing]
Nynaeve: "Cause intuition, tells me. . ."
[author note: The author has nothing against Natalie Imbruglia. In fact, he loves her!]
[Back to the Prince's Pelvis]
Rand: (yawn) What a boring episode.
[The barman steps unto the stage area]
Barman: Ladies and gentlemen! Unfortunatly, due to an accident, Selene will not be performing tonight.
[Booes erupt from the crowd]
Barman: (raising his voice) BUT WAIT! In the place of Selene, a young lady has volunteered her services about 5 minutes ago. Presenting, Berelain!
[Berelain steps unto the stage. She looks around, then jumped unto the pool table in front of Perrin. The music starts and she immediately starts to do the sa'sara. Thom is knuckling his mustache furiously. Perrin tries to run away but is snagged by Berelain]
Rand: (leaning to Thom) OK, maybe this episode is more interesting
than I thought. I suppose Faile walks in right now?
[Berelain is trying to kiss Perrin. Suddenly, a horizontal gateway opens up and Selene falls out, landing on Berelain and knocking her out]
Perrin: Thank you, Selene!! I'm so relieved that I could kiss