You Know You Are Living Next To A Trekkie When...
by Charles Nadeau

10. His car has more Trekkie bumper stickers than paint.

9. Keeps trying to "mind-meld" with your parakeet.

8. Refuses to lend you his hedge trimmer on grounds that it would violate the Prime Directive

7. Keeps trying to "beam" stray cats from his microwave to yours.

6. Keeps threatening to fire photon torpedoes at your house, even though he knows they can't penetrate your shields.

5. His garage door opens sideways and makes that cool "Vsoop" sound.

4. Keeps coming over to borrow a cup of dilithium crystals.

3. Runs out of house with hamsters taped to himself screaming, "TRIBBLES! TRIBBLES EVERYWHERE!"

2. Continues to watch the show even though he has a girlfriend.

1. Talks!... like!... William!... Shatner!