Gedicht door Rould Dahl

"Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"
by Rould Dahl


When little Snow White’s mother died,                                                                                                       

The king, her father, up and cried,                                                                                       

"Oh, what a nuisance! What a life!    
Now I must find another wife!"
(it’s never easy for a king
to find himself that sort of thing.)

He wrote to every magazine       

and said, "I’m looking for a Queen."    

At least ten thousand girls  replied    

and begged to be the royal bride.
The king said with a shifty smile,
"I’d like to give each one a trial.

" However, in the end he chose                        

a lady calles Miss Marclouse.                                       

who brought along a curious toy                           

that seemed to give her endless joy                             this was a mirror framed in brass,
a MAGIC TALKING LOOKING GLASS.
Ask it something day or night,
It always got the answer right.
For instance, if you were to say,
"Oh Mirror, what’s for lunch today?"                                                                       

The thing would answer in a tride,
"Today it’s scrambled eggs and rice."

Now every day, week in week out,
The spoiled and stupid Queen would shout,
"Oh Mirror Mirror on the wall,
who is the fairest of them all?"
The Mirror answered every time, "Oh Madam,  

you are the cat’s pajamas."
For ten whole years the silly Queen                                     repeated this absurd routine.

Then suddenly, one awful day,
she heard the Magic Mirror say,       
"From now on, Queen, you’re Number Two.
Snow White is prettier than you!"
The Queen went absolutely wild.
She yelled,"I’m going to scrag that child!
I’ll cook her flaming goose! I’ll skin’er!
I’ll have her rotten guts for dinner!
" She called the Huntsman to her study.
She shouted at him, "Listen buddy!
You drag that filthy girl  outside,
and see you take her for a ride!                                           
There after slit her ribs apart        
and bring me back her bleeding heart!"

The Huntsman dragged the lovely child
deep deep into the forest wild.   
Fearing the worst, poor Snow White spake.    
She cried, "Oh please give mea break!"
The knife was poised, the arm was strong,
she cried again, "I’ve done no wrong!"
The Huntsman’s heart began to flutter. 
It melted like a pound of butter.

He murmured, "Okay, beat it, kid."
And you can bet your life she did.
Later, The Huntsman made a stop
with in the local butcher’s shop,
and there he bought, for safety’s sake,
a bullock’s heart and one nice steak.

"Oh majesty! Oh Queen!" he cried,
"That rotten little girl has died!
And just to prove I didn’t cheat,
I’ve brought along these bits of meat.
" The Queen cried out, "Bravissimo!"
I trust you killed her nice and slow."                                                                             

Then (this is the disgusting part)                                                                                                

the queen sat down and ate the heart!                                                                                         

(I only hope she cooked it well.                                                                                           

Boiled heart can be as tough as hell.)

While all of this was going on,                                          

Oh where Oh where had Snow White gone?
She found it easy, being pretty,                                     

to hitch a ride into the city, 

and there she got a job, unpaid,     

as general cook and parlor maid    

with seven funny little men,   

each not more than three foot ten,            

ex horse-race jockeys, all of them.

These Seven Dwarfs, though awfully nice, 

were guilty of shocking vice-  

They squandered all of their resources        

at the race track baking horses.            

When they hadn’t backed a winner            

none of them got any dinner.)
One evening, Snow White said "Look here,
I think I’ve got a great idea.                                                                                               

Just leave it all to me, okay?                                                                                    

And no more gambling till I say.                                                                                                     

"That very night, at eventide,
young Snow White hitched another ride,                                                                                

and then, when it was very late,                                                                                                    

she slipped in through the Palace gate.

The King was in his counting house, counting out his money,
The Queen was in the parlor eating bread and honey.                                                       

The footmen and the servants slept                                                                                               

so no one saw her as she crept                                                                                      

on tiptoe through the mighty hall                                                                               

and grabbed THE MIRROR off the wall.

As soon as she had got it home,                                     

She told the Senior Dwarf (or Gnome)    

to ask it what he wished to know.
"Go on!" she shouted. "Have a go!"                          

He said, "Oh Mirror, please don’t joke! 

Each one of us is stony broke!  

Which will win tomorrow’s race
The Ascot Cup Steeplechase?" 

The Mirror whispered sweet and low,                        

"The horse’s name is mistletoe."                        

The Dwarfs went absolutely daft, 

They kissed young Snow White fore and aft

then rushed  away to raise some dough                   

with which to back old mistletoe.    

They pawned their watches, sold the car,                            

they borrowed money near and far,                                                                                           

(for much of it they had to thank                                                                         

the manager of Barclays Bank)                                                                                         

They went to Ascot and of course                                                                                                  

for once they backed the wining horse                                                              

there after, every single day,                                                                                        

The Mirror made the bookies pay.

Each Dwarf and Snow White got a share,                                                            

and each was soon a millionaire.                                                                                               

This shows that gambling’s not a sin                                                                     

Provided that you always win.

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