PART TWO
Good morning, Tom.
Good morning, Captain. Up early?
Up late. Personelle reports, She casually flicked the padd she was clutching in his
direction. He nodded in sympathy.
That's rough.
Tell me about it, She said with a half smile.
An uneasy silence cloaked the bridge for a few moments, and Kathryn took the
opportunity to retreat from the helm and sink into her command chair. Tom Paris
hunched over the conn, his fingers tapping in course corrections, mind only half focused
on what he was doing. Between entries, he darted a quick glance over his shoulder and
around the bridge, noting with relief that the only personelle were junior officers. They
would be too intent on working hard around the captain to speculate about the nature of
the exchange.
Three days had passed since returning to the ship, three days of them avoiding one
another, trying to pretend nothing had happened, three days of them behaving like mature
adults. Tom smirked as he tapped in a new heading change. In the shiny polish of the
console, his own reflection glinted back at him briefly, revealing the shadowed eyes and
tired face. Sleep hadn't been coming easily.
And... He glanced back at Janeway again, quickly surveying her appearance as she
pretended not to notice him... She didn't look like she'd had much sleep recently either,
albeit staying up one night to work on reports. Her eyes were more shadowed than usual,
and her hand seemed to have a worried twitch as she tapped the datapadd.
She glanced up in that moment and their blue eyes met for a brief instant before they
both looked away. Janeway let out a shaky breath. * Damn, I'm not handling this as well
as I thought.* She knew Tom probably felt as bad about being unfaithful to B'Elanna as
she did about being the other woman.
* And about sleeping with your helmsman...* Kathryn reminded herself firmly. She
glanced at the back of his head, wondering briefly why she didn't feel regret about that
part. After a few speculative thoughts crept into her head, speculations that didn't
necessarily please her, she quickly decided not to guess. * A mere oversight.* She
glanced fiercely back down at the padd. * Of course I feel guilty about sleeping with him,
just as guilty as I would if he hadn't been involved with someone.*
The door to the bridge swished open, and she heard heavy footsteps upon the carpet.
Good morning, Commander, She greeted without glancing up.
How'd you know it was me?
Your footsteps. You're the only one that walks like that, Kathryn replied briefly.
A chuckle rumbled in his throat, and she felt a slight swish of air as he sank down into his
chair.
Personelle reports? He inquired. She glanced in irritation to see him hovering
over the arm of his chair to peek at the reports.
Yes. She cut back tersely.
I thought we were going to do those today, Chakotay reminded her.
Janeway's gaze quickly snapped up to Tom, and from the slight shift in his position,
she knew he'd heard as well. Damn. He knew now it was more than reports that kept her
up.
Chakotay followed her gaze, dark eyes questioning. Kathryn?
Nothing. Janeway replied briefly. She lowered her voice, her weary blue eyes
slipped up to meet his. I just couldn't sleep.
He scrutinized her with concern, and almost reached a hand out to touch the dark
shadows under her eyes before he thought the better of it. You don't look well,
Kathryn, He said gravely.
I'm just a bit tired.
Why don't you take the day off? I can handle the bridge.
So eager to be rid of me, Commander? She quirked an eyebrow at him, though
her eyes lacked their usual impish spark. Is there something I should know
about?
A smile tugged at his lips, but her teasing didn't redirect the subject as she'd hoped.
Kathryn...
She sighed heavily. All right, all right, She conceded. I suppose if I don't leave
soon, you'll have the doctor on me.
You know me too well. He replied quietly.
She shot him a bemused scowl as she pushed up to her feet, ignoring the triumphant
gloat that lit his face.
You won this time, Commander, She said quietly as she brushed past him,
pausing to add, *This* time.
Before he could rejoinder, she breezed past him and out of the door.
Chakotay smiled after her, then shifted his gaze back to the viewscreen, poised to
strike up a conversation with Paris.
The words died on his lips at the funny look on Paris's face, the strange, bewildered
blue eyes lost in the direction that Kathryn had departed.
Chakotay clenched his jaw, and sank back into the command chair.
* * *
Tom ran his fingers lovingly through B'Elanna's silky black hair. Her head was
resting comfortably upon his lap, her eyes closed. He scanned her features, read the look
of absolute peace on her face. He grazed her cheek softly with the pad of his thumb, a
smile touching his lips. It was moments like now that really defined their love, in which he
knew with absolute certainty that this was the woman with whom he'd spend eternity.
Between their fights, their brawls, their passions, their torments, were these short little
intervals of peace, the moments he'd come to cherish.
The moments that had become increasingly rare.
He planted a soft kiss upon her forehead. Her dark eyes crept open and flickered
over his features. A contented smile slinked across her lips, and her fingers wrapped
around his.
What is it, Tom? She murmured.
Nothing, he whispered, blue eyes twinkling into hers. I was just thinking about
how much I love you.
She smiled, pulled his fingers to her lips and pressed a soft kiss against them. Her
eyes slowly slinked closed.
You're really tired, Tom noted softly.
Mmm-hmm. Long day, B'Elanna slurred. She snuggled her cheek deeper into his
lap. Had to recalibrate the entire EPS manifold.
Sounds rough, Tom tsked in sympathy.
And you? She inquired sleepily.
Nothing much. Just a few course corrections. He leaned closer and kissed her
again.
I suppose it's slower back here after being away for a while, B'Elanna
murmured.
Sometimes slower is better, He replied.
You didn't hook up with some other woman while you were away, did
you?
Tom stiffened. He managed to steady his voice and ignore the sudden quickening of
his heart. No, nothing like that. Seems I've lost my sex appeal.
A smile crept across her lips, her eyelids fluttering. Good, 'cause I'd bust her pulse,
and yours.
He chuckled uneasily. B'Ela, it was just me, and the captain, no other women
there.
What about the ambassador? He didn't hit on you, did he? She was teasing him
now. He could tell by the inflection of her tone. A relieved smile crept across his lips as
he let his own eyes sink closed.
Nah, he was too busy hitting on the captain. He was disappointed when we left
and he never got within breathing distance of her. She handled him well, flattered, but
didn't offend his... diplomatic sensibilities. I'll have to learn to do that someday with my
hoards of female admirers. Tom's 'sex appeal' was a running joke between the two, and
he grinned as he waited for her to bat his ego down.
I guess you will. Her voice sounded funny.
Tom's eyes snapped open, and he glanced down at her curiously, reading her
troubled expression. What's wrong? He asked.
Nothing, she said quickly, closing her eyes again as if shaking off old
demons.
Really, what is the matter?
Nothing! She reiterated vehemently. Softer, I just want to sleep.
He was still gazing curiously at her long after her breathing slowed with
sleep.
* * *
They finally made it to his room, after stumbling through the hallways, clinging to
each other for balance as they tumbled on between bouts of irrepressible giggling. By the
time they muddled through the door, they had both forgotten everything but each other,
the heat between their bodies, the quick flow of blood through their veins. He stumbled
back a few paces, catching his breath sharply, eyes meeting hers. Her blue eyes were
smoky with desire, or was it intoxication? He giggled, and a carefree grin twisted across
her lips as she stumbled towards him.
Tom... Kathryn slurred, her voice husky, her cheeks flushed. As she neared, he
felt the heat of her breath upon his cheek, could see the swell of her heaving chest. That
was all it took.
He bounded forward and pressed his lips to hers, shoving his tongue into her mouth,
hungry, demanding. She responded eagerly, twining her hands fiercely into his hair to pull
his face closer to hers. He sucked in a sharp breath as her hot kisses trailed down the side
of his neck. Unthinking, his hands fell to her body, slipping under her uniform, running
over her soft, heated flesh. He maneuvered towards the bed with clumsy steps, pressing
her with him. He worked his hands out and fumbled with the seams of her uniform, and
she giggled at his clumsy efforts as she worked his uniform off. He abruptly lost his
balance, and they tumbled to the floor. She cracked up as she landed beneath him with a
thunk, and he buried his giggles in her hair. He took a deep breath of her scent, and pulled
up for just a moment, long enough to gaze into her beautiful eyes.
Tom... She whispered, blue eyes gazing longingly into his. A rush of pleasure
prickled through his entire body, and he swooped down to claim a hungry kiss...
Tom Paris drew in a jagged gasp of air as his eyes snapped open. The cold ceiling of
his quarters loomed overhead. His hands flew to his chest, tearing at the buttons of his
nightshirt to air out his heated skin. His heart thumped wildly in his veins. He fumbled
over the mattress, felt B'Elanna's sleeping form next to him. A long moment passed as he
tried to regain his breath, reeling in the wake of the heated dream. He moved his hand
away from B'Elanna lest he wake her, and slowly settled back into the mattress, the
bedsprings creaking beneath him.
His thoughts meandered over his dream, and his cheeks burned. B'Elanna would
*not* be happy if she knew what he had just dreamed about, nor would Janeway. He
closed his eyes heavily, sighing. It wasn't so much a dream as a memory, from the
encounter with the captain a few days earlier.
Most of his memories of that night were mere flashes, not coherent. He could
remember tumbling over her, lying on top of her on the floor for a few moments. They
giggled some more as they lay prone. Then Paris became acutely aware of his hardness,
and the woman beneath him, and all he knew was that he wanted her, and he wanted her
badly.
Next thing he knew, he was inside of her, his lips molding hers, her fingernails
digging into his back. Her skin was red, and her breath was unsteady, a tiny whimper
escaping her lips. He had groaned, buried deeper into her, tried ever so hard to sink
completely into the woman beneath him...
His first coherent memory must have taken place afterwards. Tom could remember
opening his eyes, feeling his limp arm draped across her breasts. She opened her eyes as
well, and gave him a pained look.
Tom? Her voice sounded unsteady.
Umm-hmm? He murmured back, peering at her as though through a
fog.
Uhh... Her brow furrowed as if she was confused.
He let his cheek slump to her shoulder, her flesh cool against his. What is't, cap'n?
He had muttered. He chanced a look up at her face, and noticed with alarm hot tears
slipping down her cheeks. She met his gaze, her blue eyes shiny, and sputtered a
hysterical giggle that sounded more like a sob.
I can't think straight. I hate it when I can't think straight.
He nodded as if he understood, but he really couldn't understand over the ringing in
his head.
She raked a sweaty hand through her damp, tangled hair. Her expression was almost
frantic, and she sputtered, I shouldn't wear m'hair down. Looks
unprofessional.
S'okay t'me. Tom muttered fuzzily. She smiled unsteadily in reply, and on
impulse, he planted a wet kiss on her jaw. He lingered there for a long moment, too tired
to move. When he pulled back, he realized she'd passed out. He noticed this with
interest, then he blacked out as well.
* Not quite romantic,* Tom thought wryly as he remembered, absently stroking
B'Elanna's form. He glanced over at the half-Klingon's shadow in the darkness, wondering
just what he'd say to her, wondering when he'd be brave enough to tell her. He had to tell
her. He couldn't keep avoiding the truth.
* You're a coward, Tom Paris,* He cursed himself, abruptly swinging his legs off
the bed and throwing the sheets off of himself. He padded across the room to gaze out
the window, watching the jagged streaks of light as they slipped by.
He thought of the captain, her reflective gaze, the stance she always adopted as she
stood by the viewport. A wave of guilt washed through him. How could he tell *her*?
How could he tell her that he wasn't just an innocent victim of circumstance in this, that it
wasn't an accident that the alcohol boosters failed? That the only reason *he* had fallen
victim to this prank was because he mixed up the alcohol booster he intended for himself,
and the alcohol enhancer he intended for her?
He closed his eyes on his tears. It had just been a funny prank at the time, something
for he and Kim to laugh about off duty. Get the captain drunk, make *her* look the fool
for once, let *her* be embarrassed. Perhaps it could be a mild form of revenge for Tom's
thirty days in the brig, or her treatment of Tal. But over all, just a funny prank.
It wasn't so funny now.
Part III
Index
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