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| Starlight Luminosity |
| November 23 Midnight... Parallax: An apparent change in the direction of a stellar object caused by a change in observational position that provides a new line of sight. * * * * * He was poised above her. His eyes shone with an inner light that she had never witnessed before. He pulled himself almost completely out of her, and hovered motionless over her body, as if waiting for some sign, a look or sound of acceptance from her. She raised her knees, slowly slid her legs against his waist, down his hips and hooked them behind his back. She arched her pelvis into the tense muscles of his groin, and, flexing the muscles of her calves, she pushed against his buttocks and shuddered with pleasure as she felt the thick long length of him slip deeply back inside her. He possessed her, claimed her with his motion, and nestling his cock in the tight heat of her womb, bathed in the warmth, of the very core of her being, he was fully captured by her, too. She wouldn’t let him move, wouldn’t let him pull out of her. With the firm pressure of her legs and the strong contractions of her inner muscles, she held him completely captive. They stared intently into each others eyes, looking beyond the hazel and dark blue irises, searching the depths of black pools of pupils and the glitter of the tenuous substance of eye and nerve, deep into the center of each other’s souls. “What do you see?” she asked. He didn’t answer. He struggled a bit against the tight grasp of her legs and then surrendered, slowly collapsing against the soft skin of her stomach, melting against her breasts. He lowered his shoulders to rest above her, still never losing eye contact, his eyes still glowing with some strange inner light. They lay perfectly still, in a standoff of sorts. His cool flesh began to warm and simmer with her heat, with the fire he felt deep inside her skin, relentlessly rising to consume him. The only movement she felt was his cock as it pulsed and throbbed to the rhythm of her hidden movements. She slowly tensed and contracted her inner walls and felt him surge and swell in response. Still, they didn’t speak. Only the long look danced between them. Bound by their eyes questioning, searching, they sought for reasons or meanings beyond sound or movement. Her heart began to beat in rapid anticipation, and small beads of sweat formed at her temples and began to curl the soft hair curving over her ears. He bent his head and delicately licked the salty beads from her skin, skimming the soft wet coolness of his tongue over her eyebrows and slowly down to the tip of her nose. She twisted her face away from him. He raised his head and she could feel his whole body tense as if waiting for a blow. They were frozen, in their heat. Frozen there in a terrible fire of unspoken longing and need. He lowered his eyelids until his long, dark lashes laced against his pale skin. He opened them slightly and his gaze was suddenly cool and distant, suddenly racing away from her, slipping back into some fathomless chasm, far, far away from her. “What do you see? Do you see?” she begged him. She closed her eyes afraid of his answer, afraid of falling too far into his icy depths. “A universe. I see a universe of fire.” “But do you see me? Do you see me, Buffy?” “I see love and desire, but is it for me? Somehow I don’t see you.” “I don’t know what you mean.” “I think I never saw you before. Who are you? What are you, that you love me so? Why? Why me?” She opened her eyes and stared back at him in wonder. “Don’t you know?” “You never really told me, love.” He sighed and closed his eyes. “You never, ever told me.” She unclasped her legs from about his hips, let them fall listlessly to the bed. He pulled away from her and rolled to the far side of the bed and lay on his back, with his hands lying palms up at his sides. Not touching her. “You don’t know who I am, do you?” he said. She pulled a blanket up to her chest, her body trembling, trembling with cold she thought at first, but then knew that she shook in fear. “You’re Spike,” she said in a strangled voice. And then she was angry. Suddenly full of rage at him. For almost dying, for letting Xander hurt him, for being blind. For making her feel vulnerable to his every mood. For lying to her about his chip and his soul and making love to Anya. For hurting her and leaving her for months without a word. And always, always pushing her away when he needed her. “So what’s to know? You’re Spike. You lie. You lied to me about the chip. You lied to me about this soul thing. You push me, pull me. You make love to another woman. You disappear for months after trying to force yourself on me. And then… and then you expect me to …suddenly see the real you?” “That’s right. You’ve never seen me. Why should I tell you anything?” “What’s your problem? Do you want me to leave? Do you hate me?” “You’re like the rain, love, blasting about me. Soothing me and then tearing me up. Do you know I feel the same now as I did then? That I have the same heart as I did then? And suddenly I have a soul and it’s all…well he has a soul and everything’s ok now. Spike can be with Buffy...what a sweet bleeding happy ending.” * * * * * He sat up on the edge of the bed and stretched out his legs. He stared down at his feet for a moment and then reached over and ripped open the blue curtains. The window stretched the full length of the north side of his small bedroom. The rain had stopped and the sky was clear and dark and filled with stars. She rolled over on her side and watched him as he gazed out the window. A frown crossed her face, and she raised her foot, placed it firmly against his back, and shoved him off the bed onto the floor. She flung herself off the bed and pinned him beneath her. “Do you remember this position?” She swayed her naked hips against his body. “Yeah…” He groaned and tried to shove her away. “You were an evil, undead vampire then. A soulless vampire. Remember?” “What’s your bleeding point?!” he cried, twisting beneath her. “I loved you. I saw you!” “You bloody well never told me.” He grabbed her wrists and wrenched them off his chest. “I’m telling you now!” She ripped one of her arms out of his grasp and swung back and slammed her fist against his face. He turned quickly; her fist barely grazed his cheek and just missed his eye. “Bloody hell, Slayer! Are you crazy?” He struggled to a sitting position, grabbed her around the waist and pulled her tightly against his body. Her fists flayed helplessly against his back. “See me! See me! Tell me you can see me!” she sobbed. He picked up her crumpled body and carried it back to his bed. He laid her gently on her side and then nestled next to her. Her body trembled and shook. He covered her with the warm blanket, slipped his arm about her waist and pressed his face and lips against the burning skin of her cheek. She still trembled. It was as if a bolt of lightning had pierced her and her trembling rose from inside, deep inside her. Her eyes were closed but tears streamed silently down her face. “I’m afraid,” she whispered. “I know.” “I felt you looking inside me and then you left me. Left me.” She started to sob again. “I don’t think I’ll ever know what love is, Spike.” “Hush…hush…This is love.” He kissed her softly and gave her waist a tender squeeze. “Don’t let me go…” She slipped her hand into his. “I promise. And I promise I’ll never lie to you again or hurt you. And you…” He kissed her again. “You’ll always, always tell me when you’re afraid. Right?” “Right,” she nodded. “And never hurt me either?” “Never. No more punches, kicks or waving of stakes. No more rough sex on the floor.” “Well…let’s not get too carried away … ” He grazed his teeth lightly over her skin and gave her neck a soft nip. “I mean a vampire does have his little fantasies…” She turned to look at him. Her eyes were full and dark, glistening with tears and vulnerable in the starlight. “And what do you see now?” “See a very brave woman, given the bad fate to fall in love with the likes of me.” “Xander told me. What you went through for me. He said I was lucky.” “Did he now? Probably trying to get on your good side. Didn’t fancy that sharp knife in his chest. You were looking very fierce when you came in tonight. It did come in handy, though, for carving the roast beef.” “You saw me then?” “Oh yes. It was just glorious. I’ll never forget how you looked swinging that blade over your head and shouting ‘where is he?’…as a matter of fact…reminds me of a dream I had.” “So how long were you going to pretend that you were still blind?” “Don’t know…you so enjoyed undressing me. Didn’t want to disappoint.” “You are so bad!” She twisted around until they were lying face to face. “When did you regain your sight?” “I think it was somewhere between the time Xander saved me from drowning myself in the spring and the brilliant argument we had about the relative merits of having demonish girlfriends. I won of course.” “And what exactly did you tell Xander about me?" Spike got a funny look on his face. “Ah…Buffy…about that promise…I just made…do you think you might give me a bit of break? Just once?” “Oh my god. I don’t even want to know…” she moaned. They both laughed. “We’re quite a pair, aren’t we, love?” “Yes, the sweet, innocent Slayer and her very bad vampire.” Then she whispered against lips, “And you are so very bad.” She slipped her hand down his chest and stomach and gently stroked his cock. “And so very hard.” “Let me show you, love. Show you just how bad and hard I can be. Just for you.” * * * * * Five hours later they lay sprawled across the bed in exhaustion. “Don’t think I’ll ever walk again,” she sighed. “But you know that thing you did…” “Which thing?” He opened one eye and gave her a tired look. “You know, with my legs like this.” She demonstrated the position he’d taught her. “Oh bloody hell, Slayer!” He was instantly erect again and pounced on her and was soon thrusting furiously inside her. “Demon woman…my sweet, sweet love.” * * * * * "Aslant beneath the fore-body of the Bull is set the great Orion. Let none who pass him spread out on high on a cloudless night imagine that, gazing on the heavens, one shall see other stars more fair." Phaenomena of Aratus * * * * * Rigel sat on the back porch gazing up at the constellation Orion as it was about to set. His attention was focused on the Belt stars. Mintaka, to the west, seemed to be dancing playfully away her from her two companions--Alnitak and Alnilam. “Such a wicked woman,” Rigel sighed. “Perhaps she’s forgiven me by now…” He thought of the two lovers upstairs, desperately trying to make their peace with each other. He wished they wouldn’t make so much noise. Just a reflection, or measure, perhaps, of the luminosity and magnitude of their passion, and the distance they needed to travel to find each other. But there you have it. Love follows its own course, like the stars. Continued Back to Starlight Home Back to Dark Dreams |
| Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love. Hamlet. Act ii. Sc. 2 |