One day in a language school in Australia
------------------------------------ Teacher : "All right, now I'd like you to make a sentence using the words GREEN, PINK and  YELLOW. Who'd like to try? "
A student raised his hand. It was Kukoya from Japan.
Kukoya  : "Early this morning, I looked out the window, I saw the GREEN grass and PINK roses in  the garden. I went outside and I feel the warm YELLOW sunlight around me"
Teacher : "Not bad. Okay, who's next?"
Another student raised his hand. It was Weng from Singapore.
Weng    : "I try! I try. Can aaah?"
Teacher : "No, no, not you"
Weng    : "Aaaiiyaaa... let me try lah... I can do lah... you think I'm stupid meeh..?"
Teacher : "Okay.. go ahead"
Weng    : "This morning I heard the phone GREEEEEN... GREEEEEN... I PINK up and I said  YELOOOOW?"

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE : Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS  : George!

TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn'thave ten years ago.
WILLY  : Me!

TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.

HAROLD: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not.
HAROLD: Good, because I didn't do my homework.

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
JOHN: I hope you didn't either.

GARY: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.
TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.

MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
JUNIOR: Because of absence.
MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.

TEACHER : Well, at least there's one good thing I can say about your son.
FATHER  : What's that?
TEACHER : With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.

TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY  : You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.

TEACHER       : If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
VINCENT       : One dollar.
TEACHER(sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
VINCENT(sadly): You don't know my father.

TEACHER       : If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other,what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!

BOY : Isn't the principal a dummy!
GIRL: Say, do you know who I am?
BOY : No.
GIRL: I'm the principal's daughter.
BOY : And do you know who I am?
GIRL: No.
BOY : Thank goodness!

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH  : "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH  : Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE : Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS  : George!  

TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY  : Me!

SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN  : I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN  : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

 

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