One day in a language school in Australia
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A student raised his hand. It was Kukoya from Japan.
Kukoya :
"Early this morning, I looked out the window, I saw the GREEN grass and
PINK roses in the garden. I went
outside and I feel the warm YELLOW sunlight around me"
Teacher : "Not bad. Okay, who's next?"
Another student raised his hand. It was Weng from
Singapore.
Weng :
"I try! I try. Can aaah?"
Teacher : "No, no, not you"
Weng :
"Aaaiiyaaa... let me try lah... I can do lah... you think I'm stupid meeh..?"
Teacher : "Okay.. go ahead"
Weng : "This morning I heard the phone
GREEEEEN... GREEEEEN... I PINK up and I said
YELOOOOW?"
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE : Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : George!
TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today
that we didn'thave ten years ago.
WILLY : Me!
TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you
didn't?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't
expect you to keep yours.
HAROLD: Teacher, would you punish me for something I
didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not.
HAROLD: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go
Slow."
TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
JOHN: I hope you didn't either.
GARY: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.
TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give
you.
MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
JUNIOR: Because of absence.
MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
TEACHER : Well, at least there's one good thing I can say
about your son.
FATHER : What's that?
TEACHER : With grades like these, he couldn't be
cheating.
TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY : You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't
have feet.
TEACHER : If you had
one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you
have?
VINCENT : One dollar.
TEACHER(sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
VINCENT(sadly): You don't know my father.
TEACHER : If I had seven
oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other,what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!
BOY : Isn't the principal a dummy!
GIRL: Say, do you know who I am?
BOY : No.
GIRL: I'm the principal's daughter.
BOY : And do you know who I am?
GIRL: No.
BOY : Thank goodness!
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH : "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE : Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : George!
TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today
that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY : Me!
SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with
"I".
ELLEN : I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN : All right... "I am the ninth letter of
the alphabet."