Fearing a 'Royal Life'

Months ago, I had almost proudly shared my vision of life here at AFMC. Those were the days when emotions had been changing rapidly. From a bad phase of failures at all PMTs to a sudden surprised success and then 50 days of restricted and limited life under the seniors. And once the fresher-term got over, I started living like an 'ideal' AFMCite. Life was never same again. I bet, among the 133 students in our batch here, if u choose 20 most insincere, irregular and casual individuals, my name will certainly feature in the list. I lived the year as i wished. I always did what my impulsive self (mis)advised me to do. Even just b4 the terminal exams when janata used to study 'night-out', I was a sleepy fellow, whose carefreeness was envied by one and all.
The result? During our half-yearly exams I got a Grand Slam. It means failing in all the subjects u appear for. And when in March the batch was divided into grps under different teachers (just as secretary mj used to do), I was placed in the A1 batch. Certainly it was the batch of bottomliners. (I eventually composed two lines of rap during those days- " I am the topper, I am in the A1 batch......" ).
But days passed like anything. I kept searching for 2-3 weeks of extreme josh so that I could manage everything. The phase didnt come ever. What lies ahead is a fear. The fear of a genuine 'Royal' life. The irregular students (who fail in university exams) in AFMC r called Royals. And if a batch is very good, still atleast 10 students r retained .
What a Royal life is? Well, apparently it appears to be cooler. For the term u r repeating, u dont ve to attend classes. For remaining years, ur PT is going to be lighter. And there is always a false glamour associated with u. But certainly, there remain hidden shades of frustration, dissappointment and lack of confidence. ur vacations, exams and classes never fall with the  rest of ur batchmates. you remain a lot of a dozen ppl, always within urself.

Now, i have a habbit of staying in minority. There were less than 10 vegs in our batch at Vidyapith..... I was one of them. There were less than 10 who had taken Hindi in class x...... I was there. And there were just 9 medis..... I was again one of them. But please. I dont want to get in a minority this time. i want to be a Reg. I fear getting Royal. Unfortunately, i ve alreay made my moves. I ve already waisted time. Now i wish u all should pray for me. As the punchline in hindi movies goes-- mujhe ab duaaon ki zaroorat hai.
My results r coming during 1st week of Aug. Would I clear the exams? Would I remain what I am? Or there is again a twist ahead in the road of time that will lead me to a Throne with the title of perhaps ' the most unfortunate Royal'.

your 'Life Here' is eagerly awaited to at wo_sunehre_pal@yahoo.co.in or those_sweet_days@hotmail.com