Timothy Scott Graves
Born: May 4, 1977
Died: March 9, 1978
March 9th, 1978, I awoke to every Mother's Nightmare, only it wasn't a nightmare. It was Reality.
We were returning to our home in Del Rio Texas from Houston, we had stopped off in Edna Texas to visit relatives. The evening of March 8th had gone as usual. We had no ideal of the horror we would awaken to the next morning. After the kids had been put to
bed and more visiting done we retired. In the Early hours of the morning Timothy awoke me by crying he had wet his bed so I changed him and since we were visiting I had left the extra sheets for the port-a-crib in the car. so I placed in bed with my husband and myself. He didn't want his bottle, he didn't want to be cuddled, all he wanted was to touch his Daddy and his big brother Jeremy, then he touched my face and went back to sleep no
fussing, whatsoever. The next morning my husband had awoke early and went out of town for business. Later I awoke to find Timothy had left this earth.
My cousin came into wake me, she ask where Timmy was. I turned to where I had laid him, he was wrapped up in the covers, Panic seized my heart as I untangled him from the covers, he was cold and stiff , and blue..... I screamed.....Call for help..... My cousin was shocked but she hurried to the phone and called the ambulance service. My heart had stopped. Deep down I knew Timmy was already gone. But I cried out Timothy don't be dead don't be dead. I think I even shook him..... It was like a blur, like watching from outside a window looking in. I don't remember if I tried CPR or not I was 19 years old, but I do remember praying and thinking that I had smother my child. The pain I felt was
unbearable, but I bared it, No I didn't Jesus bared it for me, I know this now.
The paramedics arrived and began Emergency treatment. I don't know how or why but I left the room I think they took me out. I grabbed the phone and call my parents in Pecos, I scared my mother nearly to death, when she answered all did was shout and scream...."Mama I killed Timothy I think I killed Timothy." she tried to calm me. Then she ask how.. "I smothered him I smothered him." I screamed.. Finally my cousin came and took the phone away. She told Mama what was going on and that we didn't know if Timothy was alive or dead. I knew though...he was cold and the blood had already settled in his body, the side of his face was blue. We made it to the hospital.. I don't know how. At times like these you just do things you don't even know what your doing.
They worked on Timothy for over an hour, before they came and told me there was nothing they could do.
After they told me I walked out into the lobby and went to the pay phone and like a programmed robot begin dialing family members telephone numbers. I don't remember how many I dialed I just did it.
The hospital called the Texas Highway Patrol to locate my husband who had gone to neighboring city for business. They found him and told him an emergency had happened and he needed to go to the Edna hospital. When he arrived I and hugged him. (still thinking I was the one who had killed my son) I told him Timothy was dead. He cried out "Oh No, not Timothy, why Timothy why." Grief does strange things to your mind as my only thought to his action of grief was (in my mind) Would you have rather it been Jeremy
Relatives showed up at the hospital and took over the arrangements.
The horror wasn't over yet. A lady called the child abuse center and told them thatwe might have killed him, because she thought we were abusive parents, because she had seen me swat my oldest son on his behind with a rolled up newspaper at a Garage Sale several months earlier. Not only was we dealing with our son's death, but now we had to deal with the threat of the removal of our other son. Plus the fact that I still thought I had killed Timothy didn't help matters. We corporated an autopsy was ran on Timothy and the doctors concluded he had died from S.I.D.S (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and after sometime I realized I did not kill my son and there was nothing I could have done. But the pain is still here and will always be it has lessened due to time, but I wanted to share my story in the hopes it might help others who are faced with the lost of a child due to S.I.D.S
We buried our Son with his favorite toy a musical teddy bear in the Ganado Cemetery next to my Grandmother and Grandfather.
I never Cried during the ordeal, at the funeral, or anytime while this was going on. I guess the reason I didn't cry was because everyone else was so distraught and I thought I had to be the strong one. Also I had a dream that we were all in my cousins room and Timothy was sitting on her bed playing with her animals (she had a zoo) and I looked at him, and said "Timothy you can't be here your dead." then he looked up at me and smiled then said. "I know Mama, but I'm Happy." Some might not think much of this but the dream sent comfort. It wasn't until several weeks later, that I cried and let my son go.
It has been twenty years since Timothy has
GONE TO BE AN ANGEL.
I Love You Timothy.......
A.L. Frink
Near shady wall a rose once grew,
Budded and blossomed in God's free light,
Watered and fed by morning dew,
Shedding it's sweetness day and night.
As it grew and blossomed fair and tall,
Slowly rising to loftier height,
It came to a crevice in the wall,
Through which there shown a beam of light.
Onward it crept with added strength,
With never a thought of fear or pride;
It followed the light through the crevice-length
And unfolded itself on the other side.
The light, the dew, the broadening view,
Were found the same as they were before;
And it lost itself in beauties new,
Breathing its fragrance more and more.
Shall claim of death cause us to grieve,
And make our courage faint or fall?
Nay, let us faith and hope receive;
The rose still grows beyond the wall,
Scattering fragrance fare and wide,
Just as it did in days of yore,
Just as it did on the other side,
Just as it will forevermore.
This Poem was given to me by my Aunt
I'LL LEND YOU FOR A LITTLE WHILE
by Edgar Guest
"I'll lend you for a little while, a child of mine," God said.
For you to love the while he lives, and morn for him when he's dead.
It maybe six or seven years or maybe two or three
But will you, till I call him home take care of him for me?
He'll bring his charms to gladden you, and should his stay be brief,
You'll have his loving memories, as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth returns,
But there a lessons taught down there, I want this child to learn.
I've looked the wide world over, in my search for teachers true,
And from the things that crowds lifes lines, I have selected you.
Now will you give him all you have, nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call, and take him home again.
I fancied that I heard them say, "Dear Lord, Thy will be done."
For all the joys thy child shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness, and love him while we may,
And for the happiness we've known, forever grateful stay.
But should the angels come for him, much sooner than we planned
We'll brave the bitter grief, and try to understand.
IN MEMORY OF TIMOTHY GRAVES
La Nell McCurdy
(it was her house in which we were staying)
I knew a beloved child,
Laughing, Playing, Sleeping,
He is in Heaven now,
God had him in His keeping,
Yet we are weeping, weeping.
We did not want to let him go
Why not let him stay?
We wanted to love him, watch him grow
And be with him each day.
We know he is in Heaven
That God has welcomed him there
And that the Loved Ones gone before
Will also take him in their care
He went away before Spring
This sweet and loving child
But maybe, where he is,
the clouds are like blossoms
of flowers growing wild.
When we think our sorrow
Is more than we can bear
Remember he is in Heaven
Timothy and his Teddy bear.
If any of these poems will help you or a loved one in grief and mourning. Feel Free to copy them and cherish them for solace. And Remember Jesus our Savior is also there. You may also change Timothy's name to your own lost child if you so wish.. My Heart, Love and Sympathy go out to you who have lost a loved one, whether it be a child or someone else who is dear to you.
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