MS Jamie Fraser package Announcing the NEW
Microsoft® Jamie Fraser® 1.0
(optimized for MS Windows 1743)

The Simulation of Choice for the Seriously Hosed

The fun and excitement never stop with
MS Jamie Fraser - the only comprehensive,
life-size solution with Strong-n-Sensitive
bonding technology.

Offers an unmatched tall red-heided Scotsman experience!

MS Jamie Fraser is the result of an enormous research and development effort focused on a wide variety of user types, ranging from expert time-travelers to millions of wishful thinkers, and provides virtually unlimited customizable functionality.

Founded on rock-solid reliability and enhanced emotional response, MS Jamie Fraser also integrates sword-fighting capabilities and support for mobility, making it easy to plug-n-play anywhere, anytime. Combines astounding versatility with dynamic performance!

With MS Jamie Fraser 1.0, you can:

  • Get a better, more innovative marital experience
  • Immerse yourself in fully-functional 18th century masculinity
  • Learn useful new terms like "swiving" and "oxter"
  • Make small squeaking noises
  • Escape being burned as a witch
  • Travel to exotic places, meet fascinating people, and kill them
  • touch-sensitive interface
  • fully interactive components
  • 20-year memory capacity
  • 32 croodling positions
  • 64 levels of shocked outrage
  • 500+ humor modes, ranging from
    subtle-ironic to explicit-bawdy
  • expandable affection vocabulary
  • MS Jamie Fraser comes complete with kilt, sporran, broadsword, clan motto, Gaelic oaths, and dozens of Scottish kinfolk
  • MS Jamie Fraser translates easily into French, Latin, Greek, and Tuscarora, in addition to standard English and Gaelic
  • MS Jamie Fraser provides context-sensitive help and easy-to-use reproduction capabilities
  • MS Jamie Fraser includes the unique Lallybroch VR™ environment, with tutorials for Childbirth, Domesticity, Potato Growing, Candle Making, and Wool Waulking
Get MS Jamie Fraser now and receive the
revolutionary Murtagh and Fergus add-ons FREE!


  1. Open the Kilt folder
  3. The MS Jamie Fraser Setup Wizard will proceed to check
    your system for required hardware and software, probing
    gently for the essential FWA, XX and AAAHH.
  4. When the message "Are you sure you want to proceed?"
    is displayed, hit Enter. (Note: installation cannot be
    stopped once Enter is selected.)
  5. MS Jamie Fraser will display the message "Holy God" to
    notify you when installation is successful.

Virus Update
Customers are urged to take precautions against the Leghair virus (sometimes known as Laoghaire or L'heery). The TSR (Terminate and Stay Resident) capacity of Leghair enables it to lie dormant for long periods before activation, and it can lead to unpredictable errors in MS Jamie Fraser operation. Our developers have been given supplementary resources and expect to release a fix very soon. Meanwhile, we are pleased to reassure customers that MS Jamie Fraser 1.0 is fully resistant to other common viruses such as Kittle-Hoosie, French Brothel, and Geneva.

Common Questions

  • What interface options are included in MS Jamie Fraser 1.0?
    A broad range is provided, and new libraries are constantly made available. In addition to the basic Bare Skin display, you have a choice of: Kilt & Plaid, Shirt & Breeks, High Heels & Wig, Red Flannel Drawers, Captain's Uniform - and many more!

  • What sound files are included in MS Jamie Fraser 1.0?
    MS Jamie Fraser delivers new levels of resiliency and intelligence, with sophisticated voice recognition and finely tuned response. Pre-set sound files will play during initial setup:
    • Mmphm.
    • Je suis prest.
    • Lord, it's slippery as water weed.
    • Bite me again.
    • Dinna be afraid - there's the two of us now.
    From this point, MS Jamie Fraser will analyze your feedback
    patterns and continue to generate vocabulary and sounds based on
    "satisfaction : irritation" proportional matrix algorithms.

  • What scripts are available for MS Jamie Fraser 1.0?
    Choose from a vast, expanding selection of innovative, open-ended scripts, including: War, Horseriding, Sudden Wedding, Abduction, Timely Rescue, Fire, Exile, Dueling, Sexual Violence, True Love, Confrontation, Sudden Parenthood, Pirate Attack, Emotional Reunion... and many more. Forthcoming scripts include completely new versions of War and Fire! Or try some more in the privacy of your own mind: MS Jamie Fraser gives you lots of multimedia elements to play with.

    MS Jamie Fraser 1.0: your imagination is the only limit!

    More Information
    Contact your nearest MacHoser outlet
    or email

  • Created by Elena, August 2000
    With apologies to Diana Gabaldon (hopefully unnecessary :)
    and to Microsoft (completely futile).
    Outlander Humor Links