YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM NORTHERN ONTARIO WHEN...

You only own three spices- salt, pepper and ketchup

You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snow suit

The mosquitoes have landing lights

You realize the value of blackflies is that they keep city-people away

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car

You can split wood without sweating

You have 10 favorite recipes for bear and moose meat

You thought "Grumpy Old Men" was a documentary

Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas

You live in a house that has no front steps yet the door is one meter above the ground

When southern visitors come, you take them to your favourite marshes and swamps, not café's

You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard and still love it

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow

You KNOW a vehicle is to take you places; not a substitute for inadequacies

You think everyone from the city has an accent

You think sexy lingerie is tube sox's and a flannel nightie with only eight buttons

You ALWAYS knew you could survive Y2K, because the depression was easy

Inviting guests for a wild game dinner is something real special

Your second church is a stand of cedars

You owe more money on your snowblower than your car

The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page but requires 6 pages for sports

At least twice a year the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant

Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof

When you attend University, you travel 300 miles back home for the first day of the season

You think the start of moose season is like a national holiday

You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck

You know what leaves make good toilet paper

The mayor greets you on the street by your first name

There is only one shopping plaza in town

The municipality buys a zamboni before a bus

You find -40C a might chilly

The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer

You attend a formal event in your best clothes your finest jewelry and your Sorels

You can play road hockey on skates

You can tell the difference between a chipmunk and a squirrel from 300 yards away

Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout

You know the seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter and Construction

You actually 'get' these concepts, value them, and forward them to all your friends