Where did I go wrong, I'm asking my Agape friends?
First- a free spirited dog roamed our neighborhood back in our trailer park days. She came around for food, love and just to say hello. She roamed all over the park and everyone had a different name for her: Smoky, Killer, Charlie, Moocher, to name a few. Everyone claimed this free spirit as their dog. Especially the kids in the neighborhood.
One night, there's a scratch at our door and I open it and there is the most pitiful, hurt dog I've ever seen. It's the park's mascot! Turns out a van hit her and she was severely injured. We rush her to the vets and suddenly she became "our" dog. With a broken hip and a maudlin attitude, she then became ours. Although she still liked to escape every now and then to roll in some mud, for the most part she accepted her fate as our new renter. "Can Killer come out and play?" We were asked constantly by all the kids in the area. Many stopped by with toys, food, and stories of why Charlie really belonged to them. None wanted to pay the vet bill and all had excuses as to why their (very smart in my book) parents wouldn't let them keep her. So visitation rights were established.
Next: Phillip comes home with this sob story of a "puppy" that will have to be sent to the Humane Society unless he can bring it home. A bit of a dalmatian mixed "puppy" weighing in at 70 pounds trepidly steps into the house. He's been neglected, afraid of his own shadow but a promise from Phil that the previous owners took good care of him. Seven hundred dollars later after heartworm invaded his being, he became Phil's pet with the promise that when he moves, Cody goes with him.
And then: Catherine comes home one night with this puppy that was roaming the streets. Filthy, filled with life and attitude and Cathy fell in love. Not SO much in love that she's willing to pay the vet bills, but in love enough to beg, plead, cajole and promise that when she leaves, Freedom goes too.
Last straw. The CUTEST little 6 year old boy stops at our door tonight with this shepard/gargantuan mixed dog and asks innocently, "Is this your dog?" NO!!!! I cry... But I'll help you find the owner! So off little James and I go looking for the owner of this animal. I know once Griff gets one good look at him, he'll want to keep him... 90 pounds at least... Neighbor upon neighbor denies ownership but admits seeing it around for awhile. Friendly thing. Hungry. Beautiful coat...
'NO NO NO" my innards say.... FOUR dogs?? This can't be happening!!!
And now here I am baring my troubles to you. Locked in my office. Hoping to be able to go SOMEWHERE in this house without stepping over fur, avoiding licked legs and panting professions of love.
So...where is that sign that says Hockney-Griffin Humane Society?
WHO PLACED THE AD??
Come on now... Step up to the plate and admit your sins!
What are you afraid of? What holds you back from completing your goals and dreams? We all have so many excuses as to why we are not what or who we want to be. Quit kidding yourself. Let all those excuses go and start working from the ground up. NOTHING gets done without planning. Once you envision what you'd like to do or change, immediately make a list of what it will take to get there. I can almost hear you say you'll do it 'someday'. 'Somedays' are our downfalls. Let go of your "if only", "one day", "it's all ______'s fault", and the worst one of all: "I can't". You are worth the effort. You CAN do whatever you'd like to do. You just can't do it by osmosis.
I've Decided Not To Be A Ballerina
I know y'all are going to be shocked at this revelation but I've decided not to be a ballerina...
Sometimes, we've just got to know our limitations...
I mean, the tutu touts temptation but the cosmic world has been throwing a few little hints my way that pliés are not my forté.
A couple months ago I was NOT on pointe when I stubbed my toe and broke it via Griff's boom box.
"That's okay." I told myself. "I'll start on my pirouettes when it's healed.
While pirouetting my way through the kitchen two weeks ago, the 2nd and 3rd degree burns on my hand were not the marks of a graceful swan.
No, no...the ugly duckling had to quack her way to the Dr. Quack and the changing of the bandages is not the highlight of my day.
Swan Lake had nothing on me at the conference I just attended. As I glided my way across the parking lot- head held high as we are taught in ballerina school, I fall flat on my face over a handicapped parking space!
BUT! I was still determined to prove those Balletbobbin Gods that I could indeed become the first short, overweight 42 year old Prima Donna that I was destined to be.
Now that our Hockney/Griffin Humane Society is in full bloom, I decided to take the dogs out for their walks in twos. Two dogs at a time/ my goal to tutu-dome...Coincidence?? I think not!
So I selected my first tu..oops two animals and we sauntered out the door-- Well....actually...it was more like a soubresaut [that's "sudden leap" in ballet talk!]. I TRIED to keep up with them...but in concentrating on my posture, I noticed I was falling heavily into a hole in the grass!
So now...I think I can take a hint.
I think I'll grab my crutches, change my ace bandages and just watch the PBS ballet channel for some culture.
Don't be afraid to live. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable and honest with your thoughts-to your friends, your loved ones, your family, your email friends-but most importantly to yourself. Are you accomplishing all that you want to accomplish? If not, what is holding you back? Use any and all excuses you feel will make you comfortable, but the truth is worse. You hold the key to all that you desire. You are your strongest link to everything you will ever need in life. Never forget.
Hair today...gone tomorrow
In the beginning of May, I had 27 inches cut off of my hair to donate to Locks of Love
They were able to make 3 pony tails from the hair and even left me with some to boot! Think about giving the gift of hair to a child who is going through survival of cancer.
UPDATE: TIME TO CHOP IT AGAIN?!
(Almost three years later)
Ever Have One of Those days?
Pavaratti struggles with the dog-eat-dog world!
Don't just mope! Do something new. Find an outlet. Get OUT of yourself and allow someone to lean on you.
If you were arrested for being kind to yourself....
....would there be enough evidence to convict you?
For those of you who are wondering what Agapé is-- we are a group of friends who meet vicariously through email.
No! We aren't of the religious ilk-- but we know about friendship, love, sharing, caring, dreaming, etc.
Many of us have met via phone, in person, etc. And we have never had a negative experience doing so.
Some of you have asked how you can join our group. It's quite easy, really. Just email any one from the "Who Are We?" section!
We meet primarily in email, and if you are truly interested, you must not be afraid to
get a lot of same!
Many of you wonderful surfers have stopped in to check us out. Some of you have even joined our fold, and we're all the more enriched when this happens. You _must_ be able to handle excessive email if you decide to join on in.
Think About It
So many of you have the ability to touch someone's heart.
While many people who don't understand the world of modeming can
never fully grasp what we have found, YOU know because, somewhere,
sometime, someone made you think, feel, laugh, comforted.
It's not something tangible in your pocket, but it's so much more.
How have you kept that magic alive? Please let someone know today
that you were thinking about them. Let them know how or why they made
We're all here for such a short period of time. How are you spending your time? Do you believe the cynics that say the world is coming to an end? Or are you of the mindset that the world is coming to a start?
What do you see?
Did you see "nowhere" or "now here"?
It's all in how we look at things.
How are you making a difference?
Do you realize what a difference you can make in people's lives just by being you? No facades, no games. Sincerity has gotten a bad reputation lately. "Pollyanna's" "Warm and Fuzzys"...blech"..
Wonder why that is? Wonder why is it easier to believe in the negatives vs. the positives. Concentrate on the good in others.. It's catchy! But don't stop there. Do something good for someone else with no thoughts of what it will do for you. Please email me with your results.