AN EVENING ON THE EDGE.

IT ALL STARTED WITH A PLAN, A MASTER PLAN. A FEW PHONE CALLS AND MUCH PREPARATION MADE US READY FOR AN EXCITING AND ACTION PACKED EVENING, AN EVENING I'LL NEVER FORGET. MY GOOD FRIEND SANDY AND I ARE BOTH IN THE PHOTOGRAPHY PROGRAM HERE AT DBCC. WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE THE SEVENTH GRADE AND HAVE BEEN FRIENDS EVER SINCE. NOW THAT WE'VE GROWN, WE HAVE BEGUN TO PLAN REGULAR ROAD TRIPS AND LITTLE EXCURSIONS THAT GET US AWAY FROM THE HUMDRUM EXISTENCE OF SCHOOL AND WORK. AND AS AN ADDED EXTRA BONUS, WE ARE ALWAYS SURE TO BE LEFT WITH A SPLENDID MEMORY.

LAST OCTOBER, LOOKING FORWARD TO HALLOWEEN AND ITS IMPENDING PARTIES, SANDY AND I HAD TO DECIDE WHERE WE WOULD SPEND THE NIGHT OF THE DEAD. WOULD WE GO TO A CLUB LIKE POINT BREAK OR THE COLISEUM? WOULD WE END UP AT SOMEONE'S COSTUME PARTY? I THINK NOT! WHY WOULD WE WANT TO SUBJECT OURSELVES TO THAT KIND OF PUNISHMENT? NEITHER A SIMPLE BAR, PACKED WITH BRIGHT LIGHTS, EXPENSIVE DRINKS, AND FILLED WITH THE SAME LOCALS WE SEE EVERY WEEKEND, NOR A BORING COSTUME PARTY WITH BLAND COSTUMES AND AN OLD KEG OF SAMUEL ADAMS THAT HAD BEEN LEFT OVER FROM THE LAST DRUNKEN BASH, WOULD DO. THOSE WOULD BE FAR BELOW OUR STANDARDS FOR A GOOD TIME. WE NEEDED SOMETHING DIFFERENT, SOMETHING UNIQUE, AND WHAT WE FOUND WAS AN EVENT TO SURPASS ALL OTHER HALLOWEEN EVENTS: GUAVAWEEN.

GUAVAWEEN, FROM WHAT I GATHERED THROUGH WORD-OF-MOUTH, IS A HUGE BLOCK PARTY THAT LASTS UNTIL DAWN AND, NOT UNLIKE MARDI GRAS, HAS A PLETHORA OF CRAZY DRUNKS. WHAT I HAD HEARD ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS LITTLE TOWN CALLED YBOR CITY, ON THIS SMALL STREET CALLED SEVENTH, COULD NOT HAVE PREPARED ME FOR WHAT I SAW.

SANDY AND I JUMPED INTO HER GREEN VOLKSWAGEN AT ABOUT 8:30PM ON HALLOWEEN NIGHT. WE SPED OFF, (RELATIVELY SPEAKING, OF COURSE. IT'S HARD TO SPEED ANYWHERE IN A VOLKSWAGEN.), AND POINTED THE DIMPLED HOOD OF THE SMALL VEHICLE TOWARDS TAMPA. THE DIMPLE, AS THE STORY WAS TOLD TO ME, WAS CAUSED BY A TELEPHONE POLE THAT HAD JUMPED OUT IN FRONT OF MY UNSUSPECTING FRIEND A FEW WEEKS BEFORE. AMAZING HOW THAT CAN HAPPEN, ISN'T IT?

I WAS DECKED OUT IN MY FINEST. MY COSTUME, WITH THE HELP OF THE SEASIDE MUSIC THEATER'S COSTUME DIVISION AND MY INCREDIBLY CRAFTY MOTHER, WAS BEAUTIFUL. IT CONSISTED OF YARDS OVER YARDS OF RED SILK AND ON MY CHEST WAS A SCREAMING DRAGON IN FLIGHT, SILHOUETTED BY A MOON. THE COLLAR, SLEEVES AND BOTTOM OF THE GARMENT WERE DECORATED WITH GOLD AND BLACK BROCADE THAT SPARKLED EVEN IN THE DARKNESS OF THE VOLKSWAGEN. I HAD A WIG OF LONG, COARSE, JET BLACK HAIR THAT HUNG DOWN TO MY LOWER BACK AND A BLACK HAT WITH A GOLDEN STAR DANGLING BETWEEN MY EYES. I HAD DONE MY MAKE-UP LIKE A TYPICAL GEISHA GIRL. I HAD A STARK WHITE FACE, WITH BLACK EYELINER AND RED LIPS. ON EVERY FINGER, I HAD GOLD RINGS, WHICH WERE FAKE OF COURSE; IT WAS UNFORTUNATELY, JUST A COSTUME. TO TOP OFF THE ENSEMBLE, I HAD A RED AND GOLD FAN THAT ATTACHED TO MY WRIST WITH A GOLD CORD, WHICH, BY THE WAY, BECAME VERY USEFUL LATER ON IN THE HUMID, EVENING.

WE KILLED THE NEXT FOUR HOURS OF DRIVING TIME DOING WHAT WE HAVE DONE MANY TIMES BEFORE: LISTENING TO LED ZEPPELIN, SPLITTING OUR MANDATORY MUNCHIES AND A 7-11 BIG GULP BOUGHT AT WHAT, TO US, HAS BEEN RENAMED 'OUR REFRIGERATOR.' SANDY'S LITTLE, GREEN BUG DOESN'T HAVE A STEREO IN IT. SO TO LISTEN TO OUR TUNES, WE ENDED UP DISSECTING A PAIR OF EARPHONES AND SHARING THEM, HER RIGHT EAR TO MY LEFT EAR. IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA, BUT I ENDED UP RIPPING THE HEADPHONES OUT OF BOTH OF OUR EARS WHEN I TURNED MY HEAD TO LOOK OUT THE DIRTY WINDOW. BUT IT WAS WORTH THE EFFORT TO HAVE MY DAILY DOSE OF LED ZEPPELIN. WE ALSO HAD WITH US, A FEW PACKS OF CAMEL LIGHTS, A BOTTLE OF WATER, TWO HITS OF ACID AND HUGE EXPECTATIONS THAT WERE, BY FAR, SURPASSED.

AFTER GETTING A LITTLE LOST ALONG THE WAY, WE FINALLY REACHED OUR DESTINATION AND FOUND A PARKING LOT CLOSE TO THE FRONT GATE. DRIVING AROUND THE LOT TWICE WE, BY SOME SORT OF MIRACLE, NOTICED THE BRAKE LIGHTS OF A BLUE ASTRO MINI VAN ABOUT TO PULL OUT OF WHAT SEEMED TO BE OUR ONLY CHANCE AT A PARKING SPOT. SANDY REVERSED HER VOLKSWAGEN A BIT TO GIVE THE MINI VAN AMPLE ROOM TO BACK OUT OF THE SPOT. AFTER WAITING IMPATIENTLY FOR A FEW MOMENTS THE VAN REVERSED AND THEN MADE AN ABRUPT STOP. WE WERE MUMBLING SOME PROFANITIES DIRECTED TOWARDS THE PERSON DRIVING THE ASTRO FOR TAKING SO LONG WHILE WE WAITED KNOWING THIS WOULD BE OUR ONLY CHANCE TO FIND A SPOT TO PARK THAT WAS CLOSER THAN THE NEXT TOWN OVER. THE NEXT THING WE KNEW AN OLDER MAN WITH SHORT GRAY HAIR, WEARING A PAIR OF DOCKERS AND A SMILE ON HIS FACE STEPPED OUT OF THE DRIVER'S SIDE OF HIS VEHICLE AND WALKED TOWARDS THE VOLKSWAGEN. SANDY ROLLED DOWN HER WINDOW. THE MAN STEPPED UP TO IT AND HANDED SANDY A SMALL PIECE OF PAPER AND SAID, "I PAID TEN BUCKS FOR THIS DAMN PARKING PASS ABOUT A HALF HOUR AGO, AND I'D HATE FOR IT TO GO TO WASTE. PUT IT ON YOUR DASHBOARD SO YOU DON'T GET TOWED." WE WERE BOTH SHOCKED AND THANKED HIM OVER AND OVER AS HE WALKED BACK INTO HIS VAN. HE WAVED TO US FROM HIS SEAT THROUGH THE WINDOW AND DROVE AWAY. I CAN'T SPEAK FOR SANDY, BUT I WAS FEELING SMALL PANGS OF GUILT FOR THE VISIONS I HAD HAD PREVIOUSLY OF RAMMING THE ASS END OF HIS LITTLE VAN AND MUMBLING PROFANITIES, ESPECIALLY SINCE HE WAS KIND ENOUGH TO SET US UP WITH A GREAT SPOT RIGHT UP FRONT AND SAVE US TEN DOLLARS. I'D HATE FOR THIS GUY TO KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING AND SAYING ABOUT HIM. THANKFULLY, ESP IS ONE OF THE LEAST USED OF OUR SENSES. WE PARKED AND GOT OUT OF THE CAR, STRETCHED TO LOOSEN OUR STIFF BODIES UP A BIT, COLLECTED OUR BELONGINGS TOGETHER THAT WE WANTED TO TAKE WITH US AND WALKED TO THE ENTRANCE.

AT THIS POINT WE GOT OUR FIRST VIEW OF GUAVAWEEN. THERE WAS A THICK LAYER OF SOIL AND GRIME THAT SEEMED TO COVER EVERYTHING BUT THE PEOPLE. EVEN SOME OF THEM WEREN'T LOOKING VERY CLEAN, EITHER! WE WERE TOLD TO FOLLOW THE CROWD TO "THE ACTION", AND THAT IS WHAT WE DID. AS WE WALKED DOWN A SIDE ROAD TOWARDS SEVENTH STREET, I BEGAN TO GET THE FEEL FOR WHERE I WAS. CROSS DRESSERS, FAIRIES, A HERD OF COWS AND MANY OTHERS PASSED US ON THE WAY. THIS SIGHT ALONE GAVE ME A THRILL. THE CLOSER WE GOT, THE STRANGER IT GOT, AND THE BIGGER THE CROWDS BECAME. FINALLY, WE ARRIVED AT OUR DESTINATION, THE ENTRANCE WAY. THE CROWD OF PEOPLE WERE WAITING TO PAY THEIR FIVE DOLLARS AND GET THEIR BAGS SEARCHED BY TEN OR TWELVE LARGE POLICE OFFICERS BEFORE GOING IN. THANKFULLY I HAD THE FORETHOUGHT TO LEAVE MY BAG IN THE CAR. I HAD STUFFED MY TWO PACKS OF CAMEL LIGHTS, MY LICENSE AND MY MONEY, WHAT LITTLE I HAD, INTO MY POCKETS OF THE PANTS I WAS WEARING UNDERNEATH MY COSTUME. THE ACID I HAD CAREFULLY PLACED UNDERNEATH THE TONGUE OF MY LEFT SHOE. FINALLY, IT WAS OUR TURN TO PAY THE MAN IN THE LITTLE BOOTH OUR ENTRANCE FEE AND GET SEARCHED BY THE OFFICERS. ONE OF THEM PUT AN ARM OUT IN FRONT OF ME TO STOP ME FROM ENTERING. NORMALLY AT A TIME SUCH AS THIS, I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN A LITTLE NERVOUS ABOUT BEING STOPPED BY THE SIX-FOOT-TWO COP LOOMING OVER ME AND STOPPING ME WITH TWO HITS OF ACID BURNING A HOLE IN MY BOOT. HOWEVER, I KNEW BETTER BECAUSE THERE WAS NO WAY HE COULD KNOW ABOUT THE LITTLE PACKAGE I WAS CARRYING AND BY THE LOOK ON ALL OF THE OFFICERS FACES, I KNEW, OR THOUGHT THEY HAD BIGGER AND BETTER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT. THE OFFICER TOLD ME I COULDN'T TAKE THE SMALL BOTTLE OF WATER I HAD, REMOVED IT FROM MY RIGHT HAND, CHUCKED IT INTO THE TRASH AND LET ME GO ON. I LINKED MY LEFT ARM INTO SANDY'S RIGHT AND WE BOUNDED OFF TOWARDS THE ACTION, LAUGHING EXCITEDLY ALL THE WAY. I TOOK ONE STEP OVER THE CURB, STILL ATTACHED TO MY FRIEND AND WAS AMAZED AT WHAT I SAW. I LOOKED TO MY LEFT AND THEN TO MY RIGHT, AND SAW PEOPLE AS FAR AS MY EYES COULD SEE. THERE WERE MORE PEOPLE THAN I COULD COMPREHEND BEING IN ONE PLACE AT ONE TIME AND THEY STRETCHED FROM ONE END OF THE STREET TO THE OTHER. IT WASN'T YOUR NORMAL CROWD, EITHER. THEY WEREN'T THE KIND YOU SEE WALKING DOWN MAIN ST., USA, IN DISNEY. THESE WEREN'T HAPPY FAMILIES TOTING VIDEO EQUIPMENT, OR EXCITED GROUPS WAITING IN LINE FOR RIDES. THEY WEREN'T YOUR AVERAGE 'JOE SHMOE'S' THAT YOU SEE OUT DURING THE DAY IN RESPECTABLE PLACES. THAT PLACE AND THOSE PEOPLE WERE SOMETHING THAT DEAR, OLD WALT WOULD NEVER HAVE CONCEIVED. "THE FREAKS COME OUT AT NIGHT", IS A TUNE FROM THE SEVENTIES, THAT THE SCENE BROUGHT TO MIND. AS IF THESE PEOPLE HIDE OUT IN DAYLIGHT HOURS, WAITING FOR SUNSET, TO RUN AMUCK IN THE STREETS OF YBOR CITY. MASSES OF YOUNG AND OLD, OUT FOR AN EVENING OF DRUNKEN MAYHEM AND BIZARRE STIMULATION.

NOT HAVING ANYTHING TO SAY TO EACH OTHER, SANDY AND I WALKED THROUGH THE CROWDS TO THE SIDEWALK LETTING ALL THE SIGHTS SINK IN, JUST STARING IN AMAZEMENT AT THE SIGHTS BEFORE US. LIFTING UP MY RED SILK GOWN, I WENT KNELT ON MY RIGHT KNEE AND REMOVED THE LITTLE PACKET FROM MY SHOE. I LOOKED UP AT SANDY WHO WAS LOOKING DOWN AT ME WEARING A HUGE GOOFY GRIN ON HER FACE. I STOOD ERECT, OPENED UP THE PLASTIC WRAPPER IN MY HAND, REMOVED THE LITTLE PIECES OF TINFOIL FROM THEIR PREVIOUS HOME AND HANDED ONE TO MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND. I STRAIGHTENED MY GOWN, AND WE STARTED OUR LEISURELY WALK DOWN THE SIDEWALK, MEANDERING THROUGH THE OTHER PARTY-GOER'S. I UNWRAPPED THE TINY PIECE OF TINFOIL AS IF I WAS UNWRAPPING A PIECE OF HARD CANDY, JUST AS NATURALLY AS IF IT WAS THAT INSIGNIFICANT, AND REMOVED ITS CONTENTS, LETTING THE SILVER FOIL FLOAT TO THE GROUND BEHIND ME, FORGOTTEN BEFORE IT HIT THE CEMENT. STILL PROGRESSING FORWARD, I PLACED THE MINUSCULE PIECE OF PAPER ON THE TIP OF MY TONGUE AS SANDY DID THE SAME. IMMEDIATELY I TASTED ITS BITTERNESS AND CLOSED MY EYES FOR ONLY A MOMENT, RELISHING IN THE FEELING OF THE LSD ABSORBING INTO THE TASTE BUDS ON MY TONGUE. JUST THEN A LIGHT, FAMILIAR SHUDDER WENT DOWN MY BACK AND THROUGH THE REST OF MY BODY. I SMILED, OPENED MY EYES WIDE, TOOK A DEEP, NERVOUS BREATH AND LET OUT A BOUT OF NERVOUS LAUGHTER, KNOWING THAT WITHIN AN HOUR I'D BE TRIPPING, KNOWING ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN THIS EVENING, AND THAT THERE WAS NO WAY TO PREPARE FOR THE STRANGE MANIFESTATIONS I'D SEE AND THE EVENTS THAT WOULD PASS. THESE FEW MOMENTS, EVEN TO THIS DAY, ARE THE CLEAREST, MOST DETAILED MEMORIES OF MY ENTIRE NIGHT SPENT IN TAMPA. LITTLE DID I KNOW HOW UNPREPARED I WAS.

LATER ON IN THE EVENING, WHICH WAS CHOCK FULL PARTYING, PEOPLE WATCHING AND ENJOYING OUR INTOXICATED STATE, SANDY AND I, RUNNING AMUCK THROUGH THE CROWD, HEADED TOWARDS ONE OF THE MANY INTERSECTIONS ALONG THE ROAD. WE NOTICED THE PEOPLE WERE GETTING ROWDY, WORKING THEMSELVES UP INTO SOME KIND OF FRENZY. WE LOOKED UP, REALIZING WHAT WAS CAUSING ALL THE FUSS, AND WERE AMAZED AT WHAT WE SAW. HIGH UP ON A STREET LIGHT THAT HUNG ALMOST TWO STORIES ABOVE THE CEMENT, STOOD A MAN. HE WAS HOLDING ON, PRECARIOUSLY, WITH ONE HAND. THE CROWD SCREAMED FEROCIOUSLY WHEN THE MAN SWUNG HIS FREE HAND AND FOOT, SPIT INTO THE CROWD BELOW AND YELLED WORDS NO ONE COULD HEAR. THEY WERE PROBABLY UNINTELLIGIBLE ANYWAY, HE WAS OBVIOUSLY WAY PAST HIS DRINK LIMIT, WOBBLING UNSTEADILY ON HIS POST HIGH ABOVE. I SUPPOSE IN INEBRIATED MOMENTS LIKE THESE, PEOPLE TEND TO DO SOMETHING'S THEY KNOW THEY WILL REGRET, THE TYPES OF BEHAVIOR YOU NEVER WOULD HAVE CONSIDERED SOBER. FROM MY OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, I RECALL MOMENTS THAT I WAS FORCED TO HANG MY HEAD LOW, FOR A FEW DAYS, FOR SOMETHING I HAD DONE 'THE NIGHT BEFORE'. BUT THIS MAN MUST HAVE STRUGGLED LATER FOR WEEKS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT POSSESSED HIM TO DO WHAT HE DID THAT NIGHT. IN SOME DARK RECESSES OF HIS MIND, HE MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO TAKE A WALK OUT ONTO THAT SHAKY POLE HANGING HIGH ABOVE THE MASS OF SAVAGE AND UNRESTRAINED PARTY-GOERS. HE TOOK ABOUT FIVE STEPS, SLIPPED ON HIS RIGHT FOOT AND FELL TO THE GROUND, ONLY TO BE ENGULFED BY THE CROWD. NOT BEFORE, OF COURSE, SMACKING HIS HEAD AGAINST THE POLE ON THE WAY DOWN. THE THRONG OF PEOPLE LET OUT A COLLECTIVE SIGH AS HE HIT THE PAVEMENT. IN SPITE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE, I COULDN'T BELIEVE THAT WHAT I HAD SEEN WAS WHAT HAD ACTUALLY HAPPENED, THAT IS UNTIL I HEARD THE CROWD'S SHOCKED CRIES AND SAW THE LOOKS OF OUTRAGE AND AMAZEMENT ON THE PEOPLE FACES, INCLUDING THAT OF MY FRIEND. THE PEOPLE THEN RUSHED TO GET A LOOK AT THE WOUNDED MAN IN THE STREET. I WAS SHOVED AND PUSHED OUT OF THE WAY, SPLIT APART FROM SANDY AND LEFT TO FEND FOR MYSELF. I SAW HER LEFT HAND HOLDING HER CAMERA ABOVE THE HEADS OF THE CROWD, FOR A MOMENT, AND THEN SHE DISAPPEARED, BEING SWEPT AWAY BY THE PEOPLE AND THE JOURNALISTIC OPPORTUNITY. THE CROWD WAS FEROCIOUS AND COMPLETELY UNSTOPPABLE. IT TOOK TWO HOURS FOR THE AMBULANCE CREW TO PUSH THEIR WAY THROUGH TO HELP THE MAN. I HAVE NO CLUE IF HE SURVIVED THE INCIDENT OR NOT. SOMETIMES, I WONDER HOW COOL HE THOUGHT HE WAS FOR PULLING THAT STUNT. THIS PARTICULAR INSTANCE WAS AMONG THE MANY BIZARRE MOMENTS I WITNESSED IN THE SPACE OF THESE FEW HOURS, THOUGH IT'S FIGHTING FOR FIRST PLACE.

WATCHING FROM THE SIDE WALK, PROPPED UP AGAINST AND HOLDING TIGHTLY TO A STREET LAMP FOR SUPPORT, I KEPT AN EYE OUT FOR SANDY'S CAMERA'S FLASH UNIT POPPING HERE AND THERE. IT MADE FINDING HER A LITTLE LESS THAN IMPOSSIBLE, BUT NOT BY MUCH. EVENTUALLY WE WERE REUNITED AND DECIDED TO PICK A SAFER VANTAGE POINT TO WATCH THE INSANITY GROW.

WE PUSHED AND SHOVED OUR WAY THROUGH THE VAMPIRES, FRANKENSTINES, DOMINATRIXS WITH THEIR MEN ON LEASHES, AND ALL OTHER KINDS OF CREATURES OF THE NIGHT, TO END UP CLIMBING UP ON TO A BRICK PLANTER BUILT INTO THE SIDEWALK. THERE WE COULD PEOPLE-WATCH SAFELY, WITHOUT WORRY OF BEING TRAMPLED. I STOOD ABOUT FOUR FEET OVER THE HEADS OF THE PASSERS-BY AND WATCHED IN AMAZEMENT AS THE NIGHT FLEW BY. BEER CANS, TRASH AND EVERYTHING ELSE YOU COULD IMAGINE WERE TREWN FROM ONE SIDE OF THE STREET TO THE OTHER MAKING IT DIFFICULT FOR ONE TO WALK EVEN A FEW STEPS WITHOUT STEPPING ON SOMETHING. VAGABONDS AND HOMELESS PEOPLE WERE MILLING THROUGH THE MESS PICKING UP WHATEVER THEY THOUGHT THEY COULD USE. I NOTICED A WORN, AND TIRED LOOKING BLACK WOMAN, IN PARTICULAR. SHE WAS PUSHING A RUSTY SHOPPING CART AND HAD WITH HER, A SMALL BOY OF ABOUT FOUR. HAND IN HAND, THEY WALKED, AT AROUND THREE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING, THROUGH THE DEBRIS COLLECTING CANS. MOMENTS LATER I SAW AN OLD HOMELESS MAN IN DILAPIDATED CLOTHING CARRYING AN OPAQUE PLASTIC TRASH BAG FILLED WITH RATTLING ALUMINUM. HE RESTED HIS SACK FOR A MOMENT AND WITH A SMILE, JOINED IN THE FESTIVITIES. THE MAN DID A LITTLE JIG OUT OF TIME WITH A GROUP OF PEOPLE DANCING IN THE STREET AND THEN RESUMED HIS TRASH PICKING WITH A BOUNCE IN HIS STEP. AS THE EVENING PASSED, I SAW PEOPLE FIGHTING EACH OTHER IN RANDOM SPOTS ON THE STREET AND SIDEWALKS, EACH WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE OTHER. THE FIGHTING CAUSED STRANGE DOMINO EFFECTS, KNOCKING LARGE GROUPS OVER AND PUSHING THOSE STILL STANDING FROM ONE SIDE OF THE STREET TO THE OTHER. I COULDN'T HELP BUT THINK TO MYSELF ABOUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF A REAL RIOT BROKE OUT. THANKFULLY, THAT WAS NEVER A FACTOR IN THE EVENING, BECAUSE THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN NOWHERE TO RUN.

AT ABOUT FOUR O'CLOCK, I SAW A GIRL OVERDOSE ON WHAT WAS, PROBABLY, A MIXTURE OF A FEW DIFFERENT DRUGS, INCLUDING ALCOHOL. AFTER A HALF HOUR TO FORTY-FIVE MINUTES OF CONVULSIONS AND FITS, AN EMT ARRIVED ON THE SCENE WITH NOTHING MORE THAN A SOOTHING VOICE AND A WALKIE TALKIE. ALL UP AND DOWN THE STREET, PEOPLE WERE BEING INJURED FROM ONE THING OR ANOTHER. IT KEPT THE POLICE AND EMERGENCY MEDICAL STAFF TOO BUSY TO WORRY ABOUT A GIRL WHOSE ONLY PROBLEM WAS THAT SHE COULDN'T SEEM TO KEEP HER EYES FROM ROLLING BACK IN HER HEAD. "AT LEAST SHE'S STILL BREATHING,", I HEARD THE EMT SAY TO AN OFFICER WHO WAS WAITING TO SEE IF HE WAS GOING TO HAVE A DEAD GIRL ON HIS HANDS. EVENTUALLY, SHE DID STOP CONVULSING, THOUGH SHE HAD TO BE PROPPED UP LIKE A RAG DOLL, IN HER BOYFRIENDS LAP AND SMACKED OCCASIONALLY TO KEEP HER FROM SLIPPING INTO UNCONSCIOUSNESS.

THESE STRANGE SIGHTS AND MANY MORE, BOMBARDED ME, ONE AFTER ANOTHER. THERE WERE MOMENTS WHERE I DIDN'T BELIEVE THAT WHAT I WAS SEEING WAS REALLY HAPPENING. I WAS CONVINCED IT WAS THE LSD CREATING THESE STRANGE SIGHTS UNTIL I ASKED SANDY. SHE VERIFIED THAT THESE ALMOST- ABNORMAL ABNORMAL VISIONS I WAS HAVING WERE NOT MATERIALIZATION'S CREATED IN MY OWN HEAD. IT AMAZED ME THAT, EVEN IN MODERN SOCIETY, THIS CHAOS IS WHAT IS CONSIDERED 'FUN'. MY GENERATION, INCLUDING ME, HAS BECOME SO DESENSITIZED, THAT MOMENTS LIKE THESE ARE JUST MENTAL IMAGES THAT ARE STORED IN OUR BRAINS AND FORGOTTEN ABOUT. VISIONS OF PEOPLE, ALMOST, KILLING THEMSELVES AND EACH OTHER, SHOULD NOT BE AS EASILY FORGOTTEN AS THE SMALL PIECE OF FOIL THAT I LET FALL THROUGH MY FINGERS ONTO THE SIDEWALK.

THAT EVENING, I WAS REMINDED THAT THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN THE SHORT-TERM THRILL OF THE MOMENT, AND HALF REMEMBERED ECSTASIES. IS THIS WHAT WE WILL, IN THE NOT-TO-DISTANT FUTURE, BECOME? A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO EXIST FOR THE EXCITEMENT OF RISKING THEIR LIVES, DRINKING BOTTLE AFTER BOTTLE, POPPING PILLS, WAFERS AND TABS AND INHALING A PLETHORA OF DIFFERENT SUBSTANCES, JUST TO SOFTEN THE BLOW OF OUR DAILY OBLIGATIONS. OR HAVE WE BECOME THAT ALREADY? IT SEEMS TO ME THAT SO MANY, INCLUDING ME, CRAVE THE FEELING OF BEING RECKLESS, OF DOING EVERYTHING THEY'VE BEEN TOLD NOT TO DO. THERE'S SOMETHING INSIDE ALL OF US, I SUPPOSE, THAT ACHES FOR THE WILD ABANDONMENT OF NIGHTS SUCH AS THESE. SOMETHING DEEP IN OUR PSYCHES NEEDS TO BE FREE OF THE LIMITS WE GIVE OURSELVES. NIGHTS LIKE THESE BRING OUT THE INNER MONSTER IN ALL OF US AND WE BECOME THE PERSON WE THINK THAT WE WANT TO BE - THE KIND OF PERSON WHO IS FEARLESS, RECKLESS, LAWLESS, UNCONTROLLED AND UNDISCIPLINED - THE KIND OF PERSON WHO IS AFRAID OF LITTLE OR NOTHING. I ADMIT THAT I, THAT NIGHT AND ALSO IN THE PAST, HAVE SUBJECTED MYSELF TO MOMENTS LIKE THESE AND HAVE TAKEN MORE THAN MY SHARE OF INTOXICANTS, BUT AFTER THIS ONE EVENING THAT I WILL NEVER FORGET. I KNOW I'LL NEVER PUSH MYSELF QUITE SO FAR TO THE EDGE LIKE SO MANY OTHERS DO, FOR WHAT THEY CONSIDER "A GOOD TIME". THIS LIFE OF MINE IS TOO VALUABLE TO RISK SO MUCH. IT IS JUST NOT WORTH IT.

KELLI


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