Children are, as the social workers tell us, products of their environment. While each child has his own unique personality, nonetheless, much of his character is formed by what he is taught and what he experiences as he grows. Therefore, in order to discuss the character of a child raised in a godly family, we need merely recall what was discussed in the first three installments of this series: the marriage, the father, and the mother.
First, consider the effect of the godly marriage on the children. Because such a marriage is a union of two individuals whose primary loyalty is to God, the children grow to see the importance of faithful obedience to Him. And, because the husband and wife are committed to their lifelong relationship, the children learn the meaning of commitment. Mom and Dad don't walk out on each other when they have problems; they work their problems out together, and thereby strengthen their bond. So, the children grow to learn how to persevere in a relationship: and this is an essential part of learning how to love.
Also, because both spouses have respect for their God-given roles, the home is characterized by order and stability. The children are therefore secure in the feeling that their home is a place of safety, comfort, and consistency. This helps them grow to be confident, emotionally stable adults. It also helps them to understand the value of orderliness, and therefore the discipline which must precede it. This appreciation for self-discipline and order is reflected in all aspects of the individual's life: his attitudes toward family, himself, work, and society all reflect it, and all who know him benefit from it.
Next, let us look at some of the ways the father influences his children. The man, as you may recall, is one who has sacrificed for his wife. He does not insist upon his right to go "out with the boys", but rather keeps his wife's best interests in mind. He loves, nurtures, and cherishes her as precious. Thus, his sons grow to treat their own wives with respect and tenderness. His daughters learn to regard only men who are considerate and gentle, to be potential husbands. All of his children learn the wonderful tenderness and intimacy implied by the scriptural teaching that the church is the bride of Christ, and therefore gain insight into the magnificent love Jesus has for His people.
We also noted that the father is active in the moral instruction of his children. He teaches them God's ways. Moreover, he purposefully disciplines them to practice God's ways. Therefore, the principles which form the basis of their thinking and conduct are these:
"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 22:37-39)
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1Corinthians 13:4-7)
The children of the godly family are humble, respectful, courteous, and considerate. Their lives are characterized by devotion to God and service to their fellow man. If you can imagine a society fullof such individuals, you will begin to see the flawless wisdom behind the scriptural pattern for the family.
Again, it was shown that the father is one who loves his own family sacrificially. He does not consider his own comfort or pleasure to be his top priority, but is more concerned with the well- being of his family. He works diligently to provide for their needs. He cares about every facet of their lives. So, when they think of God as their Father in heaven, they realize that this means He loves them, listens to them, and has their best interests at heart.
As for the mother, her influence upon the children is perhaps the greatest, since she has the most time with them. By supporting her husband's efforts with the children, she magnifies the positive aspects of his influence. By respecting her husband, she demonstrates the value of respecting authority. By loving her husband, she shows them how to love. By nurturing the children, she teaches them tenderness, kindness, and patience. By her diligence, she shows them the meaning and value of hard work. By her willingness to help others, she provides them an example of selflessness and service. Above all, her devotion to God shows them the importance of putting Him first in their lives. You won't find a day care center that can do these things.
Finally, consider the impact of witnessing the parents' love and devotion, in terms of building a sense of the importance of the family. Children brought up in this way grow to have a strong commitment to their family. Not only do they fulfill their roles as husbands and wives well, they also retain a powerful respect and affection for their parents. So, should their parents become unable to care for themselves, the now-grown children are willing to provide whatever is necessary. Thus it is most natural for them to fulfill the apostle Paul's instruction:
But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God. (1Timothy 5:4)
Here is the scriptural "social security" plan in action: family members caring for each other. (Where there is no family to help, the church steps in.) In our country today we have come so far from this notion, that some individuals actually refuse to help their needy parents, apparently assuming that it is the government's responsibility to care for them.
The children of the godly family are self-disciplined and hard-working. They are not full of themselves, but are humble. They do not greedily seek their own advancement, but look for ways to be of service to others. They respect authority, whether it be an employer or a policeman or some other authority. They are considerate of their fellow man. They are committed to their families. Above all, they are devoted to God. I think most folks would agree that the more of these godly- raised children a society has, the better that society will be. And, as a given society loses its regard for the kind of family which produces this kind of children, that society begins to crumble.