Kid and Caboodle: Musings of a "Split-Shift" Mom
By Peggy B. Hu
September 2006

What comes to your mind when September rolls around? Do you think of Labor Day picnics? Do you think of cooler weather and brightly colored leaves? Do you think about winterizing the garden? Or, like me, do you think about the start of a new school year?

My son A.J., who will turn 4 in November, will be starting a new year at his pre-school in a few days. I wonder how he will do this time around. A.J. is very introverted, but it looks like many of his classmates will be the same ones from previous classes, and I think his new teacher has worked with him before. Will he interact with them more this year? Will he play with his classmates and stand up for himself if someone tries to take his food or a toy he is enjoying? Will he signal when he needs to use the toilet; sing along during music time; or demonstrate his understanding of letters, numbers, colors, shapes, and other abstract concepts?

When A.J. is at home with family, he is very verbal and active. He understands both English and Taiwanese, and will use words from both languages. He constantly wants to do art projects, bang on the piano, dance, wrestle, play chase or hide-and-seek, go for wagon rides and walks, or listen to books being read. He has a splendid imagination and can happily pretend for hours that the sofa is a car or boat traveling to many interesting places.

Whenever we have an unfamiliar guest in the house, though, A.J. will retreat to a quiet corner to observe the stranger for a long time. Sometimes he will warm up to guests -- especially if they amuse him -- but sometimes he won't start talking again until every stranger has left the house. I suppose this is a good survival trait; I doubt anyone could kidnap him easily, given how instinctively wary he is of strangers. His introverted nature does make it hard for him to make friends, though.

I wonder sometimes if we are doing the right thing sending A.J. to pre-school rather than caring for him full-time at home. He often protests whenever I tell him it is a school day, and sometimes he pretends to be sick in the hopes that I will let him stay home. When I ask him in the evenings about school, though, he meticulously recites all the things he did there, and sometimes he says school is fun.

I believe that it is very important for A.J. to learn to trust people outside of our regular circle of family members and friends. I think it is also important for him to learn to socialize with others at locations outside of our home. Although he may not always enjoy going to pre-school right now, doing so gives him the opportunity to engage in these social interactions and will prepare him for the day he will start grade school full-time.

Even though he still needs to learn how to socialize with others more, I am proud of my boy. I marvel at how much he has learned since he was just a squalling blob in my arms. How in the world did he learn to talk? How in the world did he learn to walk? How in the world did he figure out how to move a large cushion next to a table so he could climb on top of it to reach a cabinet containing a bag of cookies?

From what I have observed, A.J. appears to be a very fast learner and has an excellent memory. Perhaps I should not worry so much whether my son is learning to make friends. Some day, when he feels motivated, I think he will learn that lesson as well.