Lectures on the FAMILY                                                                                   

				Lecturer 1: WE BELIEVE IN FAMILIES

 A course on the Alternative Family

 Since the 1960s, the importance of the 'traditional' family has declined.  Couples  
living together without a formal legal arrangement, single-sex couples, single  
parenthood and the breakdown of formalised marriages are the norms for today.  

  The result is not always what has been hoped for.   Stable social conditions &   
relationships and the satisfaction & fulfilment which they can give, seem in very short  
supply.

 Could it be that the demand for individual rights and freedom, without the  
acceptance of the corresponding responsibility, is the cause?  Could it be that the  
breakdown of family life is the cause of many of our social and emotional problems?

 This course is designed to help you consider adopting an approach to what can now  
be called the Alternative Family - an alternative which is based on biblical principles  
and which, according to those who have adopted it, results in love, security and  
fulfilment for all family members.

			 Programme review : The family audit

				 Action plans

1.	SETTING THE SCENE 

 There is no society known to anthropology which has not been based on family life.   
A family is a centre for the development of human relationships for the benefit of its  
members.  Membership starts with a husband and his wife.  It grows with children. It  
extends further with grandparents, aunts and uncles.

 In the successful family, all members are important and respected.  Through the  
activities of such a family the needs (social, physical, intellectual, emotional and  
spiritual) of the members are satisfied.  As such it is a centre of and for love, care,  
support, mutual understanding and harmony and an environment of security,  
discipline and stability.  

 The lives, actions, experiences, words and attitudes of each member affect all the  
others.  All are involved in the training and development of each other, the junior  
family members being most influenced and affected.  As 'no man is an island', the  
existence of a family has influence far beyond its boundaries.  Society indirectly will   
benefit or be damaged by the success or failure of the families within it.

					 FAMILY  FACTS

 1 in 3 marriages result in divorce - U.K. record is worst in Europe.  In U.K.,  welfare  
policy may encourage single parenthood.  Currently the majority of lone parents  
depend on public assistance.

 Children of non-traditional families have higher rates of mortality and sickness; are  
more at risk of abuse; more likely to become delinquent and go into care and more  
likely to become involved in crime.  The 'children of divorce' are less likely to marry,  
more likely to divorce if they do marry  and, in the case of females, more likely to  
become lone parents in their turn.

 In 1975, of 10,000 Woman's Own readers surveyed, 17% had been battered by  
their husbands.

 TRENDS

 (% of people in households)			1961			1992

 Lone parent with dependent children		2.5%			10.1%

 People living alone					3.9%			11.1%

 Married couples with dependent children 	52.2%			39.9%

 							1971			1991

 Persons marrying per 1000 of all ages		16.5			12.0

 Persons divorcing per 1000 of all ages		  5.9			13.5

  (% of all families with dependent children)

 Lone parents					   8.6%			19.0% 

  Out-of-wedlock births now constitute an ever-growing percentage of all births.   
Tradionally, those unable to marry did not have children, but modern welfare and  
cultural attitudes make extra-marital childbrearing both possible and even attractive.  
Family poverty was falling and welfare support for families was rising until the 1970s.   
Since then the trends have been reversed.

	 OPINIONS FOR WHICH THERE IS STRONG SUPPORTING EVIDENCE

 Instability in marriage can result in social instability outside it. Poverty may be the  
cause of family breakdown as well as its consequence. A reduction in funds  
available to families has resulted in rising numbers of sterile marriages as many  
couples feel they are unable to afford to have any children at all.  While most people  
still regard traditional family life as the ideal, tolerance for other lifestyles has  
increased as the legal, religious and cultural barriers to divorce and extra-marital  
childbearing have been removed.  Those who have experienced family breakdown  
are more tolerant of it in others, and more likely to repeat the cycle.

			 HOPES & ASPIRATIONS FOR FAMILY LIFE

 In families, people desire to have material, social, physical, intellectual  emotional &  
spiritual needs met  through security, companionship, love, support, assistance and  
mutual respect.

			 WHY BIBLICAL ALTERNATIVE IS IMPORTANT

The Bible is, among other things a handbook for life.  This amazing book, written  
over 1500 years by 40 authors, divided into 66 books - 39 in the Old Testament & 27  
in the New, constantly refers to family situations. The Old Testament scriptures are  
accepted as the Word of God by the three main world religions - known as the  
religions of the Book - Islam, Judaism and Christianity.

 Its instruction in practical living is of particular importance to us.  ...useful for  
teaching, rebuking, correcting & training in righteousness (2Tim3.16).  But its pages  
include sections which are history, poetry and prophecy.  Much of its content deals  
with human relationships and this is relevant too.

Societies which have their behaviour based on fixed ethical standards appear to  
have a stability which is lacking in the Western world today.   The ethical standards  
of the Bible have stood the test of time - thousands of years of time. 

Below is a biblical picture of many members of society today:

" They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity.   
They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice.  They are gossips,  
slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful;  they invent ways of doing  
evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless...."   
(Rom1:29)

" People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive,  
disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving,  
slanderous, without self control, brutal, not lovers of good, treacherous, rash,  
conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God...." (2Tim3:1)

				 PLAN FOR THE COURSE

  The presenters of this series of lectures believe that a major cause for the  
breakdown of order is the breakdown of family life.  By re-establishing stable family  
conditions, there can be significant optimism that the decline in social stability cannot  
only be halted, but reversed.  

The course will be divided into the following five highly relevant sessions:

 	The role of the man & the woman

 	The rights and responsibilities of discipline

 	The rights and responsibilities of sex

 	Solving and creating problems by divorce

 	Taking stock - The way forward

			 THE AIM OF THE COURSE

The aim of the course is to improve the quality of family life and through it to improve  
the quality of life in the community.

 Family life starts with marriage and this is basis for a unique relationship of two  
companions.  It develops with the birth and upbringing of children in an environment  
of love, discipline and training.

For those without children, there are special opportunities for developing extended  
families or having a deeper involvement in community activities through reduced  
family pressures.

The course is Bible-based.  It is relevant to both Christians and non-Christians as it  
offers and alternative to other family systems which have been tried and which, on a  
global basis, seem to have failed.

© Copyright Bob Wykes Monday, 21 April 1997. Anyone can download, copy and 
distribute this material but it is not for resale.

Contact me on Richard@rllee.demon.co.uk