My talk with the Lord/ - revised April 12, 1999


Have you ever been depressed? It is hard for others to understand, if they have not experienced the darkness of depression. It is when the walls of our lives seem to be closing in on us, squeezing the life out of us. Everything we do seems to turn out wrong, and no one understands the dreadful hell, which smothers the love and life from our lives. All of our hopes and dreams are swallowed up by the dreadful darkness.

I got a glimpse of the hell of depression when I realized what a dreadful sinner I was in the sight of God. I thought about all the evil I have done during my life, and my future looked truly hopeless. I said, Lord, my sins are too great, they are too much, and when piled together they are like a dark mountain of trash which stands before me blocking the light from my life.

Then in my heart's church, I heard God tell me to place my sins upon the altar before Him. The sight made me even sadder, because I could see what a failure I had been. I could see the darkness of that huge trash pile stacked before me like a mountain. The pile was so high that is choked out all of the light, and I stood there before it in the darkness, unable to break the chains of its darkness.

Then I saw a tiny flame from a candle sitting over to one side of the huge ugly pile. It was so small; I could hardly see it. God said, child, that small light is my love for you. It seemed so small next to the gigantic pile of trash before me. Then God said, don't worry about the dark pile, as the tiny candle fell on its side, and set fire to the giant dark pile standing upon the alter. The tiny light glimmered and struggled for a moment, and then it started to grow. It became bigger, and bigger, and soon the light from the flame began pushing the darkness away, until soon the entire heap of failures where ablaze in the fiery light of God. The light consumes the entire pile, and then I could see the love of God all around me, the darkness was gone forever.

That same small flame burns within each of us, we just have to lay our dark failure at the feet of Christ, and ask Him to take the darkness away. He will not only take our darkness away, but He will turn it into His loving light. When no one else in the whole world loves us, Jesus is there in the darkness. It is amazing how he loved us when we were so unlovable.

Not everyone can see God's love for us, but our vision is made crystal clear when we first begin to love God's greatest gift to mankind, His only begotten Son Jesus, the only Christ. God's loving light in your life may be small, but it is powerful enough to drive all the darkness away. Love God as He has loved you, and then smile as He drives all the darkness away. The fires of depression can only be quenched by the fire in our love for God, and all of His children. Turn your eyes away from yourself, and look at the beauty of Christ our Lord.

God bless and keep you, in the name of Jesus, the only Christ!
joe sizemore

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