Sharpen Your Sentences

Use the active, not the passive, voice

It's time for a grammar lesson. I'll keep it brief.

These sentences are in the active voice because they show that the subject acts, or does something:

The Customer Inquiry Department answers almost four hundred phone calls every day.

Our new maintenance program saved company S5,000 in the first six months.

book.

The committee records all suggestions in a log

Government must place some constraint' these contracts to prevent price excesses.

A sentence is in the passive voice when subject is acted upon:

¥ Almost four hundred phone calls are answered by the Customer Inquiry Department every day.

¥ S5,000 was saved by the company in the f six months of our new maintenance program.

¥ All suggestions are recorded by the committee in a log book.

¥ Some constraints must be placed on these contracts by government to prevent price excesses.

Read the above sentences aloud, and notice that the active voice:

1. sounds more vigorous

2. is more personal

3. uses fewer words

4. is easier to follow

5. is easier to remember

Get rid of passive constructions in your speech and writing. They sound stilted, flat, and contrived.

Cut "I think," "I believe," "I know," "It seems to me that," "In my opinion."

These expressions weaken sentences. Cut them, and you will make your sentences stronger.

BEFORE

We think prices are already too high and know people are hurting.

AFTER

hurting.

Prices are already too high and people are

Avoid "There are"

Sentences that begin with "There are..." often weak. Try rewriting them.

BEFORE

There are alternate ways that must be found by us to solve the problem.

AFTER

We must find other ways to solve the problem.

A final bit of advice from George Orvell on how to make your writing simple:

1. Never use a long word where a short one will do.

2. If it is possible to cut out a word, always cut it out.

3. Never use the passive where you can use the active.

4. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.

5. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything barbarous.

ÑJoan De How To Write & Give A Speech

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