Three guys, one from Tennessee, one from California and one from Washington state are
sitting around the campfire together, trading embellished stories. Finally sick of the
verbal bantering, the Tennessean pulls out a bottle of Jack Daniels, takes a big chug,
tosses the rest of the bottle up in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots it.
"Why'd you waste all of that whiskey?" the Washingtonian asked.
"We have plenty of good whiskey in Tennessee!" the Tennessean replied.
The Californian then pulls a bottle of Cabernet out of his backpack, takes a big chug,
throws it up in the air, shoots it and exclaims "We have plenty of fine wine in
California!".
The Washingtonian pulls out a bottle of Microbrew, chugs the entire bottle and throws it
up in the air. He shoots the Californian, catches the bottle and exclaims "We have
plenty of Californians in Washington, but I've got to recycle this bottle!"
Enjoying the Beach
A man and his wife are on vacation on a remote Caribbean island. The man is lying under a
palm tree relaxing in the shade when his wife walks over.
"Honey," she says, "let's go snorkeling now. There are many fascinating sea
creatures for us to see."
To this he replies, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"
Back in the roaring 20's raccoon coats were the rage, especially among the
college set in the ivy league schools. Just any raccoon coat wouldn't do. It had to be a
full length duster almost reaching the floor to really be in style.
John, a young man with a very rich but miserly father who was entering his freshman year
at Harvard was surprised to learn when he moved into the dorm that he just couldn't fit in
without a raccoon coat. He pleaded with his father that he just had to have a raccoon coat
or would never make it at school. After several letters back and forth his father agreed
to purchase a beautiful coat on one condition. The condition was that the coat must not be
damaged in any way during the next four years. If there was any damage to the coat at all
after fo ur years the John would be disinherited and have to go find a job on his own. He
would not be allowed to join the father in his very prosperous business. John quickly
agreed to the conditions without thinking of the implications.
The father bought the best raccoon coat money could buy, then had several members of his
staff count the number of hairs on the coat. They found there were exactly 1,524,203
hairs. A second group of staff members recounted and confirmed there were 1,524,203 hairs.
The coat was then carefully sealed in a package and sent off to Harvard with a note
informing the John of the hair count.
When John received the coat he was overjoyed that his ostracism by his fellow students was
soon to end. Then he read the enclosed letter. He showed the coat to all his friend but
was afraid to wear it under any circumstances for fear of damaging it in some manner.
After everyone had seen the coat he resealed it in its box and placed it on the shelf in
his closet. He often showed the coat to new friends but could never work up the courage to
wear it until his senior year.
Harvard was playing Yale for the conference championship in football. He bought 9 tickets
to the game- 3 seats behind his, the seats to either side, and the three seats in front.
He was going to be damned sure no one spilled drink or mustard on his beloved coat. He
didn't enjoy the game at all because of his concern for his coat. Immediately after the
game he returned the coat to the closet where i t had been for three years after carefully
spending several hours recounting the hairs. All 1,524,203 were intact but after such a
tedious job he made a mistake. He didn't reseal the bag in which he had been storing the
coat these many years.
During the night a campus moth crawled under the door of the closet, fluttered up onto the
box and crawled inside. He had a feast but being a small moth one hair was all his tiny
stomach could hold. He emerged from the box, fluttered from the closet and flew up onto
the light fixture to get warm and have a nap.
The next day the hapless student decided to recheck the hair-count. It took him hours but
when finished he knew he was in trouble. There were only 1,524,202 hairs. He wailed in
despair at the top of his lungs. All his fraternity brothers came running into the room
expecting the worst. John recounted the whole story about his fathers conditions and his
impendingfate. In all the commotion the little moth asleep on the light fixture awakened.
He listened to the story in amazement . As the whole story unfolded the moth became
terribly sad-
Have you ever seen a moth bawl?
The Two Ships
There were two ships...one had red paint, one had blue paint. They collided.
At last report, the survivors were marooned!
As the great Jedi English teacher was quoted in saying, "metaphors be with you."
The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of
the marvelous structure of reality.
A person who is too nice an observer of the business of the crowd, like one who is too
curious in observing the labor of bees, will often be stung for his curiosity.
One of the secrets of life is to keep our intellectual curiosity acute.
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