My father and mother, together, built their own business. I still remember when we had a store during the Japanese times near the bridge adjoining Taal and Lemery. They bought a bus and hired a driver to bring people to Batangas City and adjoining towns for profit, but instead they lost money. I remember they told me that if I want to have a business, I have to manage it myself. Then they sold sweepstakes lottery tickers door to door and town to town. Finally, the last job they held was selling insurance under the Phil-Am Life Insurance Company. This was enough for seven of us to go through college. My older sister, Luzviminda, graduated with a Bachelor of Music degree from Sta. Isabel College; I graduated from the University of Sto. Tomas with a Doctor of Medicine degree; Alex, graduated from Mapua Institute of Technology with a Civil Engineering degree; Norie graduated from the University of Sto. Tomas with a Bachelor of Nursing degree; Dante obtained a Commerce degree from Far Eastern University; and Florence was in a Nursing program when she passed away. Our (my parents) persevered and worked hard to help us finish our careers. They were able to pay our tuition and support our careers despite their handicap: my father a fourth grade graduate and my mother a sixth grade graduate.
Then, I had made a decision to go abroad. It was a tough decision. Shall I stay permanently in America or go back home after I finished my surgical residency? It boils down to what you really want to do with you life. My journey in a foreign land was underway. I got married to a very nice and beautiful "Visayan", Cirly. This was not easy. We had our differences. My wife and I speak different dialects; and we both like different foods. But this did not matter. We love each other, that's what counts. But then I learned along the way that I could not change her dialect, her way of eating, her accent and the way she was brought up. This made it easy for me to adjust our marriage, but it took me a while. At the present time, my wife and I have had a very close and loving relationship for thirty-one and a half years.
Raising four boys was not that easy, especially in a foreign land. What came to my mind in the beginning is fear. I have seen through my patients that boys of affluent families do drugs. As soon as I got my medical license, I asked my wife is she would stop working as a nurse. So she took care of them till my last son finished high school. She picked them up from private school, brought them to school activities; we watched their athletic games most of the time. We got them involved in sports and music. Dennis, plays guitar; Richard plays the drums; Mark, plays the keyboard/piano; and Gregg plays the piano. I tried to make it a point to eat dinner together until they went to College. At first they did not like "dinuguan" and "balut". Now they can not wait to go home to eat Filipino food when they were in College. They all finished their college degrees out of New Jersey. It was also difficult for them to adjust. As Gregg, my youngest son said in his college application essay: "I used to be embarrassed about being Filipino". Now he is very proud to be one. When I told my patients that I have four boys, they wonder how we were able to raise them. I told them that I respected them like my "friends", praised them for their accomplishments, helped them go through their struggles, and understood that I went through the same thing if not worse. I never put them down or ridiculed them and always tried to encourage them. I never directed them to what career they would take. I just gave them the choice, guided them and showed them the way; I told them that their mom and dad are willing to support them until they accomplish their goals.
Now, Dennis has a psychology degree with a minor in Business and works as a Financial Consultant at Merrill-Lynch, a brokerage firm. He is married to Jeanette, a beautiful Taalenos who has a successful career in her own right; Richard is currently a Physician in a combined Pediatric and Internal Medicine residency program at University Hospital in Newark, NJ; Mark has a Finance Degree and works in an Investment Bank as an assistant trader. Gregg graduated with a Psychology degree, and art minor, and is applying to medical school.
It is not easy to raise a family in a foreign land with different cultures, different languages and different family values. It was not easy to marry a woman with a different dialect, different cultural background and different religion. What really helped was the example that my parents showed me with their unconditional love, work ethic, their perseverance and honesty. With lots of prayers, I just try to do what is right - as I see it day to day.
BACK |
J SPOT |
NEXT |