FOOTPRINT
The official organ of the Abu Dhabi Island Hash House Harriers AUH4

Run 1500
THE “BIG COHUNA” RUN
Date: Friday 30th March 2007
Hares: Big Ears, Ballbreaker, Hash Crash, Evan and Karl
On Back: Dancing Queen and Katrinas abode

THE RUN
After several major setbacks the big 1500 one tried to get underway. Firstly, the on backs were cancelled at The Club as it was the Big fellers birthday & sale of Hash water on the premises was banned. Then Kangaroo keg (who had previously checked to see if the ice factory was open) went to get the ice and it was shut. It later opened after prayers. Then OOZE EE put the Hash signs on the bus – a shame that as we needed them in the desert to show the way for the buses and cars!
Again HRH Ooze EE and Pashmina were early as they were on the bus and it threw everyone out of order
There were lots of orange spray paint marks on dung and some flour that had blown lost and easy to find check back marks (well there were a lot of them) no crossing of any major roads, almost no soft sand, and only a few difficulties finding the arrows as the wind picked up. The run was measured by Karl in the morning when they set it & it measured 4.7km When he re-measured it on trail it was 7 km????

THE RUN – VERDICT Best 1500th run we ever had 15/10;
– “rubbish” +5; Chalk +2: Soft sand +10: Too much ocean: -4; Length just right 10: camels 11/10:; it was too long; not enough mingling with the bimblers; too much ocean; bimblers got lost -6; too much chalk & flour; more whinging, moaning and grumbling for an excellent score of 9.32

THE HARES
A real almost round circle was formed & Pythagoras would have loved it. Despite immense verbal pressure from the usual plus more chatterboxes HM ‘Ooz ‘Ee got the gathering underway down downs to the Hares

THE GM
The GM Ooze EE read several emails wishing AUH 4 “all the best” for their big day from former GM Barry “Poo” and Bagbum and Kevin who had recently left for the old Dart
The 1st run was held in 1979 and the 2000th run will be held on either 28th October or 31 st October 2016 if anyone wanted to book a ticket

Many thanks to the 1500 committee who consisted of Vlad the Impaler, Ballbreaker, Bigears, Perthy Throwup, Karl, Tin tin Dr Ferrett and Pashmina

The GM Ooze EE then had several charges
• Ken & Leanne for telling radio 106 that we were going on a 1500 kilometre run
• Ballbreaker for leading on all on-ons and false trails and spraying red paint on camel dung

VISITING GM (FAGIN) FROM THE MAINLAND HASH - Congratulations on the Mis-manangement –
The buses were late, Bigears was supposed to show the buses where to go and failed
The bus got bogged
The Run was rubbish and on a recount, a score of 2.39 was awarded Congratulations on your 1500th run

The RA – Dancing Queen, proceeded to pick on numerous innocent Hashers

CHARGES
• Big Curtis for arriving and then spending 10 minutes trying to push a 4 wd drive over sideways
• Pussy Platter and Paul for working on Hash & doing a soil survey
• Vlad the Impaler and Dr Ferrett for actually walking on the Hash, and so everyone thought there must be something wrong. It didn’t last, as the wind was blowing Vlads hair out and the girls retired from the walk
• Hash Slash – 2 were nominated but then honesty prevailed and 12 people stepped forward – no-one noticed them – that’s a worry!
• Sheila for long cutting again and denying it
• Brian for “ I must have sand in my shoes” No sh** Sherlock!
• Ball breaker and Hash Crash for sand in shoes
• Ken and Leanne for wearing headphones on Hash,
• Hernia for never being on trail once

Charges from the floor
• Dancing Queen, Katrina and Sheila for group sex on the Hash
• Big Ears for having “some nasty soggy bits on the run”
• Hash Crash, Perthy Cuter and Elyaza for discussing hair on Hash in a sand storm

ON BACK
The on backs were held at Dancing Queen and Katrina’s abode and there were some monumental performances. No names will be mentioned but there was a scintillating performance from a “lady” during a game. The food was sensational and congratulations are due to the 1500th committee for making the last minute changes
If you want to know what happened – ask someone who was there!

Special thanks to Elyaza for her great photos of the 1500th run and they can be seen at CLICK HERE

SOCIAL EVENTS
April 20th a boat trip from somewhere to somewhere else from 2 to 5 pm, meeting at the Sheraton for lunch first

NEXT WEEKS RUN - Run no. 1501:
Monday 3rd April 2007
Hares: Sheila, Brian & Ralph
Run – from the Canadian embassy 9th floor west building Abu Dhabi mall On Back - at the Canadian embassy 9th floor west building

POLITICALLY INCORRECT HUMOUR
A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.
"What troubles you, Sister?" asks the Mother Superior. "I thought this was the day you spent with your family."
"It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ."
"I seem to recall that," the Mother Superior agreed. "So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?"
"Far from it," snorted the Sister. "In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!"
"Goodness, Sister!" gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. "You must tell me all about it!"
"Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, Mother - 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight not 100 yards off the tee!"
"Oh my!" commiserated the Mother. "How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!"
"No, that wasn't it," admitted Sister. "While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!"
"Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!" sympathized Mother.
"But I didn't, Mother Superior!" sobbed the Sister. "And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!"
"So that's when you cursed," said the Mother with a knowing smile. "Nope, that wasn't it either," cried the Sister, anguished, "because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!"
Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...
"You missed the bloody putt, didn't you!

Don’t forget –
• If you haven’t Hared any runs or hosted the Down-downs, committee would like to talk to you. We all need to take our turns
• Numbers have been climbing so if you are bringing Virgins along please let Hash Committee know as we would hate to be embarrassed by shortage of food and even worse run out of Hash Water

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