RUN 1501
THE “CHOCOLATES TO BOILED LOLLIES ” RUN
The official organ of the Abu Dhabi Island Hash House Harriers AUH4

Date: Monday 2nd April 2007
Hares: Sheila and Brian
On Back: Canadian Embassy

The Run
Talk about going from the sublime to the ridiculous and that’s what happened in the space of 4 days. On Friday we had the very successful 1500th run which was held in pretty warm conditions in the desert and approximately 60 sinners attended. We switched venues to the lofty heights of the Canadian Embassy with about 20 people in attendance and the temperature was about 20oC cooler than the 1500th run AND it rained – damned big cold drops of rain!!!
This week we had many hands volunteering to take the Hash water upstairs, ensuring no-one missed out on a drink! Again HRH Ooze EE was early, which threw everyone out of order. Needless to say Pashmina was not with him
There were lots of yellow chalk marks and some flour with the chalk under the lights and arrows on the side of lights, lots of long false trails which even had the knitting circle in tow on several occasions until they became immediately lost and easy to find check back marks (well there were a lot of them) no crossing of any major roads, almost no soft sand, and only a few difficulties finding the arrows as the light began to fail. Then the dust started, closely followed by the rain and Kangaroo keg had a spectacular fall

The Run – Verdict
“The worst run since the 1500th” Best arrows ever 15/10– “too short” +5; Chalk +2: Soft sand +5: No ocean: -4; Length just right 10: The best run since the 1500th: soft sand -3; it was too long; too much rain; too many skyscrapers; bimblers got lost -6; too much chalk & flour; more whinging, moaning and grumbling for an excellent score of 2.75

THE HARES
Despite immense verbal pressure from several chatterboxes HM ‘Ooz ‘Ee got the gathering underway and gave down-downs to Sheila and Brian – a virgin Hare

THE GM
The GM Ooze EE had several charges
Sheila – “the rain washed away all the chalk” – sure, sure it did!
Dancing Queen who was heard to say to Big ears – “This money is for your missus Ballbreaker & I’ve got to give her one more”
Big Ears “ I left my bladder home”
Mum Deanna for being the youngest Mum in AUH4 and also for not supervising the baby Caitlin & she tossed her toys from the pram and also for Caitlin for being the youngest AUH 4Hasher
Brian for losing his mobile while setting the run
AWARDS

The Gm OOZE ‘EE for 100 runs – the first Englishman to reach a century for ages!
Kangaroo Keg for 50 runs then asking “can I have some head?’
Carpet Burns for 25 runs
Russell for 25 runs
Matthew for 25 runs
Dancing Queen for 25 runs
Perthy Throwup for 25 runs
THE RA - Dancing Queen, proceeded to pick on numerous innocent Hashers

CHARGES
Ralph for not being a Hare
OOZ ‘ee for long cutting again
Ken for arriving late after going shopping with Pashmina
Kangaroo Keg for his spectacular fall from grace
Sheila for being so blind they had to install giant buttons for flushing the toilet in the Embassy
Ferdinand for his first beer
Carpet Burns for getting people to sit on her knee and also intimidating the baby Caitlin in the lift

SOCIAL EVENTS
April 20th a boat trip from somewhere to somewhere else from 2 to 5 pm, meeting at the Sheraton for lunch first

NEXT WEEKS RUN - Run no. 1502:
Monday 9th April 2007
Hares: Russell, Carpet Burns and Matthew
Run – Abu Dhabi 6pm to the right of the Grass golf club on the sandy area. Follow the AUH4 signs from the Abu Dhabi to Dubai road
On Back - Russell, Carpet Burns and Matthew’s abode off Island

POLITICALLY INCORRECT HUMOUR
Football in Heaven
Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.
When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One Day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved football all our lives, and we Played Sunday football together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's Football there."
Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed," Mike, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour for you.
Shortly after that, Joe passes on.
At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him,"
Mike--Mike."

"Who is it? asks Mike sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"
"Mike--it's me, Joe."
"You're not Joe. Joe just died."
"I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice."
"Joe! Where are you?"
"In heaven", replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."
"Tell me the good news first," says Mike.
"The good news," Joe says," is that there's football in heaven. Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play football all we want, and we never get tired."
"That's fantastic," says Mike. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?

"You're playing Tuesday."

Don’t forget – Number have been variable lately so if you are bringing Virgins along please let Hash committee know as we would hate to be embarrassed by shortage of food and even worse run out of Hash Water

ON ON
PT

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