FOOTPRINT

The official organ of the Abu Dhabi Island Hash House Harriers AUH4


Hashing is a state of mind- a friendship of kindred spirits joined together for the sole purpose of reliving their childhood or fraternity days, releasing the tensions of everyday life, and generally, acting a fool amongst others who will not judge you or measure you by anything more than your sense of humor."
Stray Dog (From the Global Trash Hash Bible complete reference for the Hash House Harriers)

This has proved very effective as I haven’t one single sinner email me to ask where the run was, so……….

NEXT WEEKS RUN
Run no. 1509:
Monday 28th May 2007
HARES: Shane and HOW MUCH
Run – Start time: 18:00 (6 p.m.)
Directions: Khalifa A See Web home page for maps
ON BACK – Same location - Please bring chairs and lamps if you have them.

Run 1508
THE “FLIPPER MEMORIAL FOUNTAIN ” RUN
Monday: 14th May 2007
HARES: Dancing Queen and Hash Flash Katrina
ON BACK: Whiplash and Franz’ abode

THE RUN
Well, we do I start? I have no idea what really happened as I missed the run and fortunately just made it in time to make up all the charges for the down-downs So rather than spoil a good thing – I will make up my own report on what I think happened on the run and just cut & paste from last week Dancing Queen had set the run earlier and sometime later forgot to use any chalk. So we had to use our imagination for the first sections of the run. 'Ooz 'Ee probably did roll up and was probably late so no-one was any the wiser.

THE RUN – VERDICT
The Hare was called into the circle, and amid repeated nattering offences by groups of Hashers, the comments ranged from Shite, to worse than shite, too much fish smell, too much soft sand, too many water features and all the usual whingeing and bitching that ensues. Too long; Too much chalk -2: Nice trees; Soft sand +5: walkers trails 0: Length just right 10; No major roads -5: arrows 15/10; soft sand -3; it was too long; not enough mingling with the bimblers; Check backs -0; Too many hills; too much traffic, too much water; bimblers got lost -6; too much fresh air, not enough false trails; Someone Boked etc etc etc grizzel, bitch, whinge!
Despite the usual natterers and some new ones interfering, unusually the final mark was around 9.31 – well it was exactly 9.31 to be precise. Its amazing how this seems to happen every week! I should consult Pythagoras or some mathematician to see how this just seems to happen each week. It must be connected to the dimensions of the pyramids.
Big Ears was appointed Songmaster and used a completely old repertoire, which sounded remarkably like the old faithful, at last giving most Hashers an excuse for not singing.

HARE-RAISER
Dancing Queen – Needs a lot more Hares to step up and hopes Truffles had remembered he was Haring next week

The GM, Oooze Ee
HM announced announced that “ Perthy Throwup needs relief” (he would welcome it!) – (from his duties as Hash Scribe) so would all volunteers take one step forwards. The response was underwhelming.

VIRGINS -
None - only a few wanna-bees! “If I knew then what I know now!!!!!”

The RA
HM then handed over to Perthy Throwup .
- Perthy Throwup immediately awarded himself 2 down downs – one for the arrival of his first grandchild - a granddaughter, AND his second down down for his second daughter getting engaged in the same week
- Ooze EE for refusing to skip at the designated skipping section, being beardless and phone abuse
- The Female Bimblers for not calling ON-ON once and Humpty Dumpty for grassing on them A very brave or stupid move Humpty Dumpty
- Liz, Richard, Ken and Pulque Mirage for short cutting or talking - or maybe I forgot to delete this from last week
- Phone abuse on Hash for Hash Crash and Maurice
- Kris for whingeing and singing a song that wasn’t on the song sheets
- Chris and Whiplash for missing a check – continuing on and not calling
- Ciara for insisting her parents brought her bike and then not riding it and Maurice & CJ for not having parental control of a brat
- Thunder down Under for grimacing when having to drink soft drink because the beer hadn’t arrived
- Whiplash and Sheila for stating “all Dancing Queens chalk marks were camouflage”
- Truffles as apparently he “ has had it at school every day this week” – lucky him, AND for going A over K = BOKING
- Maurice owner of car 79758 – had a crash while getting to the down downs – what’s he going to be like when he’s Pi**ed?
- All Hashers who were thirsty & hadn’t had a down-down

THE TUCKER
Heaps of Dahl, salad bread and chicken from the Taj Palace, which kept everyone happy.
As we have been saying, please let committee know if you are bringing Virgins as we could be embarrassed for food if we have an influx of extras. We don’t want anyone to have to do a “loaves and fishes” each week.

AUH4 WEBSITE
Don’t forget to look up the AUH4 website. Many thanks to Sheila for putting so much effort into a GREAT website - and check out any incriminating photos of yourself!!
Web site - where you are now
Click to be transported to photo site

SOCIAL EVENTS
Full details on web site
June 15th - Brunch at the revolting restaurant
June 18th – a combined Hash with the Mainlanders

SOME POLITICALLY INCORRECT HUMOUR
The Insensitive Ventriloquist
A ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain in a small town. He's going through his usual run of off-colour and 'dumb blonde' jokes, when a well-dressed blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and shouts: "I've heard just about enough of your stupid blonde jokes, you jerk! What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What connection can a person's hair colour possibly have with their fundamental worth as a human being?"
"It's morons like you that prevent women like myself from being respected at work and in our communities and from reaching our full potential, because you and your Neanderthal brethren continue to perpetuate negative images against not only blondes, but women in general, for the sake of cheap laughs."
"You are a pathetic, misogynistic relic of the past, and what you do is not only contrary to discrimination laws in every civilized country, it is deeply offensive to people with modern sensibilities and basic respect for their fellow citizens. You should hang your head in shame, you pusillanimous little maggot."
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde yells: "You stay out of this mister! I'm talking to that little bas**rd on your knee."

HOMEWORK FOR NEXT WEEK – look up; misogynistic and pusillanimous

Don’t forget –
· Please recycle all cans – Perthy will take all cans back to assist their Harriss with an early return to Bangladesh – so please put all food scraps in a separate bag
· If you haven’t Hared any runs or hosted the Down downs Dancing Queen would like to talk to you. We all need to take our turns
· Numbers have been climbing so if you are bringing Virgins along please let Hash Committee know as we would hate to be embarrassed by shortage of food and even worse run out of Hash Water



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