FOOTPRINT

The official organ of the Abu Dhabi Island Hash House Harriers AUH4


Hashing is a state of mind- a friendship of kindred spirits joined together for the sole purpose of reliving their childhood or fraternity days, releasing the tensions of everyday life, and generally, acting a fool amongst others who will not judge you or measure you by anything more than your sense of humor."
Stray Dog (From the Global Trash Hash Bible complete reference for the Hash House Harriers)


AUH4 Run Number 1512
Monday 18th June
THIS DAY IN 1815 - The Battle of Waterloo
The day French forces suffered their final defeat at the hands of the British in the "The Battle of Waterloo." Ha ha.
THIS DAY IN 2007 - The Palm Grove Run
Another mighty battle took place as the Mainland Hash (who the hell are they?) and the Island Hash crossed swords in the "Battle of Palm Grove."
Hares: Fagin, Jockrot, Big Ears & Dancing Queen
The Run: To tell the truth none too sure, it sort of just happened. Amazingly there was no report of lost souls getting there, although this was more than made up for on the run itself.
On Back: Same place, but with a delightful bonfire to keep the chilly night at bay

THE RUN - Verdict
The respective GMs colluded to suggest that it was an 'excellent run.'
The gathered masses were, however, swift to rebuff this and general consensus had more affinity with a view that it was at best 'complete shite'. Damn good job there weren't any false trails!!!
No final score was given. Therefore for PT let's shoot for a 9.31!
Hernia was appointed Songmaster but was regularly usurped by disrespectful Hashers from around the circle. Amongst the din a tune of sort did ring out, and an abundance of Oy's made up for the crap.

Our HM - Big Ears
The following were called into the circle for a down-down:
Virgin Jan Candy (aka. JC but apparently only to her friends) from everywhere
Kris with a 'K', for LEAVING after 2 months loyal service
Ken also with a 'K' and also for LEAVING after 2 bloody long
Paul for LEAVING after one week back
And the following charges were made:
How Much? For trying to find a cost benefit from his dog and inappropriately using the hash circle for blood sports
Ken for still getting married and being so excited he's already walking around with wood

The Mainland RA - Fagan
A block of ice was brought out and amongst repeated attempts by their poodle to ice its' wounds incurred as a result of How Much?'s antics, several rear ends were exposed to the horror of the innocent Islanders. Charges included:
Some geezer for his 70s film obsession
A couple for a rather charming imitation of Prince Charles and Diana in a restaurant
A chap for non-stop screwing in Portugal
Our very own Dancing Queen and Ken for having pube-heads, although strangely the poodle that was so keen on licking the ice after Dancing Queen had sat on it was omitted from this charge
And again, Dancing Queen who was this time given a lovely looking Guinness and raw egg combo to help him talk which he valiantly downed

Our RA - Dancing Queen
The wrath of RA was unleashed on the following innocent victims for offences the night…
Sheila and Hernia for bickering. Sheila was quick to get his arse out for the crowd and swiftly put it on ice
Jo and Pashmina for Phone abuse, and the latter also for turning up on time. Hurrah.
Romany for something as per bloody usual along with Maurice and CJ
For weekend activities at the revolving restaurant…
Jolly Rogerer was noted as extremely lucky to have not turned up. Photos on the website are likely to give a glimpse to those not in attendance as to why.
Viagra Baby was charged for perving on the restaurants' singer.
Our esteemed leader Big Ears was put on ice for rather shockingly leaving a bottle of free wine behind without passing in on to a hasher. Duly noted as one of the worst offence in Hash history
And for treachery by buying mainland merchandise…
Worst of all there are too many to mention! Let's not see any of these offending garments on hash please.

Charges from the floor
After all that excitement, there were no charges from the floor, which left Hashers to eagerly fight for food.

The Grub
A lovely spread. A terrific, spicy, curry that left all Hashers replete though perhaps a little sore the following day (or was that just VB?!)

AUH4 Website
Don't forget to look up the AUH4 website. Continued thanks to Sheila for putting so much effort into a GREAT website - and check out any incriminating photos of yourself (especially if your name is Jolly Rogerer) NEW PHOTOS FROM THE REVOLVING RESTAURANT
click for Multiply photos

Social Events
June 21/22 2007
Probably too late…MH3 SUMMER AWAY BASH…see website for further details
Buraimi Hotel 0096825642010
Book your own rooms. Duplex Chalet Dhs 350 per night (incl. 2 breakfasts), double room in hotel Dhs 250 per night, (including 2 breakfasts)
Friday Run with T shirt expected to be 100dhs (depending on final cost of T shirt)
Evening barbecue 50 dhs. Drinks and food at the hotel are cheap for the rest of the time. Survivors run Saturday morning normally round the houses and drink up beer.

July 2007
PROPOSED PROGRESSIVE DINNER
Details to follow

August 2007
PROPOSED BOWLING NIGHT
Details to follow

Don’t forget –
Please recycle all cans – Perthy will take all cans back to assist their Harriss with an early return to Bangladesh – so please put all food scraps in a separate bag
If you haven’t Hared any runs or hosted the Down downs Dancing Queen would like to talk to you. We all need to take our turns
Numbers have been climbing so if you are bringing Virgins along please let Hash Committee know as we would hate to be embarrassed by shortage of food and even worse run out of Hash Water. We don’t want anyone to have to do a “loaves and fishes” each week.


Some Politically Incorrect Humor
John Cleese's Letter to America
To the citizens of the United States of America:
In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium," and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise."
You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra'; you may elect to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you find you simply can't cope with correct pronunciation.
Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up "vocabulary"). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."
3. You will relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see above).
4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but to be celebrated only in England. It will be called "Come-Uppance Day."
5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect.
At the same time, you will go metric immediately and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
8. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling "gasoline") -roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.

9. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with mayonnaise but with vinegar.

10. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." American brands will be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in "Four Weddings and a Funeral" was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater
13. You will cease playing American "football." There is only one kind of proper football; you call it "soccer." Those of you brave enough will, in time, will be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the "World Series" for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.

14. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

15. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due backdated to 1776.

Thank you for your co-operation.

NEXT WEEKS' RUN
AUH4 Run Number 1513 - Monday 25th June
START TIME: 1800 Hours
LOCATION: Corniche, off 32nd Street
HARES:Ooz 'Ee & Ooz 'Ee Jr.
ON BACK:'Ooz 'Ee & Pashmina's Residence (Villa T10)
DIRECTIONS:
Run: Turn off the Corniche into 32nd St., then 1st right into "green sign" 1st Street. Park in the car park immediately on your right.
On-back: Villa T-10 is in "green" 3rd St. Go a few metres (no conversion factors) further along 32nd St (blue sign) and take the first right before the building site that used to be the Golden Fish Building. We are in Villa T10 by the pedestrian crossing sign, about 5 villas along. Parking is difficult so best to walk from the car park on the Corniche.



ON-ON
Viagra Baby
050-6117810


AUH4 WEBSITE

Don’t forget to look up the AUH4 website. Many thanks to Sheila for putting so much effort into a GREAT website - and check out any incriminating photos of yourself!!
Web site - where you are now
Click to be transported to photo site






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