FOOTPRINT
The official organ of the Abu Dhabi Island Hash House Harriers AUH4
Hashing is a state of mind- a friendship of kindred spirits joined together for the sole purpose of reliving their childhood or fraternity days, releasing the tensions of everyday life, and generally, acting a fool amongst others who will not judge you or measure you by anything more than your sense of humor."
Stray Dog (From the Global Trash Hash Bible complete reference for the Hash House Harriers)
AUH4 Run Number 1517
Monday 23rd July 2007
‘The Poker Run’
The Event:
Poker run opposite the Saudi Arabian Embassy. Dan and VB ran around with purple sacks for walkers and runners respectively. Hashers were merely required to delve in and retrieve a card at each check, which were duly stamped so that Curtis could ensure that there was no cheating. Red cards from Dan for the walkers, blue from VB for the runners.
1 card from each of the 5 checks, best hand at the on back wins. Simple. This however seemed to caused confusion to an alarming number of simple hashers not used to having to think as well as run, but all made it back in one piece, some with more cards than others.
On Back:
Chesty’s…I was rather hoping to find a topless bar, but great venue nonetheless
The Run - Verdict
Shit, rubbish, too long
According to one brat ‘grandpa did it’- Curtis and Dan, we’re all ears for an explanation…
Cards were excellent, but a bit damp and Dan and VB’s sacks were sweaty
Having to think on hash, god forbid, and missing false trails
Soft sand but not enough, sprinklers covered hashers in sewage
Scores: of 2 and 1.8 were touted but, very clever, back on the 9.31. Can hares note that it’s not compulsory to organise a 9.31 run. Variety is the spice of life and all that…
HM – Big Ears
At the request of HM and probably much to his latter regret, Sir Sheila took on the role of song master as the following called into the circle for a down-down:
Hares
Curtis and Dan
The Poker Game
Romney evaded Curtis’ foolproof system and cheated to win the walkers event with 3 kings, winning a voucher for AED 100
Herina claimed a full house, but was found to have also cheated and Russell’s pair of aces won the day, also winning a voucher for AED 100
Virgins
Where the fcuk do I start…
Round One:
Sharon from New Zealand, will possibly hash again
Andrew maybe from New Zealand, maybe will hash again
Jo from Japan??? Here for 1 year and will absolutely hash again. That’s better
Devinda from India, will probably hash again
Renee from Australia, here for two years, not sure if she will hash again
County Clare, from County Clare, unlikely to hash again
Round Two:
Shaun from USA might has next week
Jordan from Tennessee could be here next week
George from Phoenix will potentially hash again
Derek from Los Angeles. Don’t rule him out
Round Three:
??? from USA, here for one year, of course will hash again
??? an off-course Canadian
Forgive me, by this point I had somewhat lost the will to live
New Members
Mother of Jack, but too busy feeding fore-mentioned
Leavers
Justin – Baghdad for 6 weeks
VB – Somewhere wet and dangerous for 2 weeks
Hash Numbers – Carpet Burns
Sir Sheila 25 runs
Danni 25 runs
Good work
Hare Raiser – Dancing Queen
Next week’s run (1518) to be organized by the Motley Crew, see details.
Then (1519) likely to be Leith and Rich and Mangrove Village, only the former doesn’t know it yet.
Hash Social – Ballbreaker’s Mouthpiece
Brunch at Flavours, the Sheriton on the 10th August. Be sure to wave out the window to Romany who will undoubtedly by the pool.
Hash Scribe will be away for two weeks – volunteer to fill in would be appreciated
Hash Numbers and Hash Water will be away in a couple of weeks time, again volunteers please.
RA – Perthy Throwup
To uphold the morals of the hash, as RA (apparently the position was thrust up him) PT made the following charges:
Sex on the Hash
Rich for strip teasing
Ken and Jenny for holding hands. Ah, young love.
Jenny for also sleeping with a married man
County Clare for wearing a thong
Curtis for something
The Marines for dating County Clare and Renee on hash
Other Charges
What a surprise… Romany found herself in the middle in the middle for phone abuse.
Michelle for trying to run away, while all she wants is a hole?
How Much for having a tommy tank on the roof whilst Carpet Burns slaved away in the kitchen
Bonnie for RA Abuse – “pushing the pram really suits you!”
Last Charges
Richard for disregarding the rules of the road and having his push-bike impounded.
Tiffany for her Stevie Wonder impersonation with big dark glasses and guide dog. Also for not taking crap from anyone however being rather content picking up random excrement from the floor. Lovely.
Charges from the Floor
Dancing Queen, by this point desperate for some beer, put himself in for cheating and thoughtfully dragged Hernia down with him.
Viagra Baby was pulled into the circle for wearing new shoes and was allowed to take his down-down held upside down and through his sock, thereby retaining utmost dignity.
Perthy Throwup for asking Sir Sheila to remove saucy photos of him from the website.
Naming
Sarah had earlier proclaimed that she loved the hash’s naming convention, and would really rather like one of her own. Nice sentiment. There was only one real choice and RA duly obliged. From this day forth, Sarah shall therefore be known as “I Really Want One”
Back in 2 weeks if you still do.
The Grub
I have never seen so much chicken in my life. Not dead at least.
Also an abundance of pasta, salad and potatoes
Excellent food, thanks go to the Marines.
Perthy Throwup’s Positive Thought for the Day
When you feel that nobody loves you,
Nobody cares for you,
Everyone is ignoring you,
You should really ask yourself.....
…..Am I a wanker?
You can give him your honest appraisal on Monday
Social Events
August 2007
Updated: BRUNCH AT FLAVOURS, THE SHERITON – 10th August
Details to follow
August 2007
PROPOSED BOWLING NIGHT
Details to follow
September 2007
Updated: PROPOSED RAMADAN PROGRESSIVE DINNER
Details to follow
AL AIN RE-HYDRATION RUN – 23rd-24th November NTNH Site (2006), Al Ain, UAE. Please see Website for details.
HASH VALENTINES BALL – with Mainland and Wasps at The Club – February
WORLD INTERHASH – 21st-23rd March
Further details to follow as an when… … …
Tried to find some good Poker related jokes, but (and you’ll love this) they were all Craps…
Instead found these that are also pretty shite, but put them here nonetheless because I could be bothered to look no further. "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Wiseman"\o"RichardWiseman"Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire ran an experiment in 2002 to identify the world’s funniest joke. For his experiment, named LaughLab, he created a website where people could submit and rate over 10,000 jokes.
The winner, submitted by Gurpal Gosall, of Manchester, England was:
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"
The second place finisher and early leader was this joke, submitted by Geoff Anandappa of Blackpool, England:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"
While this was the top joke in the UK:
A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
And in Australia the top joke was as follows:
This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?"
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight."
NEXT WEEKS’ RUN
AUH4 Run Number 1518 Monday 30th July 2007
START TIME: 1800 Hours
LOCATION: Teaboy’s House
HARES: Teaboy, Tin Tin and Georg with no ‘e’
ON BACK: Same Place
DIRECTIONS: Click to See the Map
Blue marks the spot
The run starts as indicated by the placemark. People can park on-street at the start and Teaboy’s house isin the compound just around the corner
Don’t forget –
· Please recycle all cans – Perthy will take all cans back to assist their Harriss with an early return to Bangladesh – so please put all food scraps in a separate bag
· If you haven’t Hared any runs or hosted the Down downs Dancing Queen would like to talk to you. We all need to take our turns
· Numbers have been climbing so if you are bringing Virgins along please let Hash Committee know as we would hate to be embarrassed by shortage of food and even worse run out of Hash Water
AUH4 WEBSITE
Don’t forget to look up the AUH4 website. Many thanks to Sheila for putting so much effort into a GREAT website - and check out any incriminating photos of yourself!!
Web site - where you are now
Click to be transported to photo site
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ON ON
Viagra Baby
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