FOOTPRINT
The official organ of the Abu Dhabi Island Hash House Harriers AUH4
Hashing is a state of mind- a friendship of kindred spirits joined together for the sole purpose of reliving their childhood or fraternity days, releasing the tensions of everyday life, and generally, acting a fool amongst others who will not judge you or measure you by anything more than your sense of humor."
Stray Dog (From the Global Trash Hash Bible complete reference for the Hash House Harriers)
AUH4 Run Number 1527
Monday 1st October 2007
The North American Bondage Run
The Event:
Amidst a clash of North American culture(s) a hero was born. A moral message therefore follows for this week’s summation.
After a weekend of violent AUH4 social evening on which the flames of rivalry were fanned between the North American females of the Hash (primarily I understand because the $Canadian accelerated past the $American for the first time in history) (actually the little Brit has this wrong - up until the late 60s the Canadian dollar was always at least 10% higher than the American dollar. It was devalued to increase Canadian trade with the US. During the mid-late 70s once again the Canadian dollar surpassed the American until the 80s and a new prime minister once again for trade reasons devalued the dollar) the 3 American Hares for run number 1527 were forced to fall back on the charity of their wealthy northern neighbour and make use of the facilities at the Canadian Embassy for the Hash.
The run itself, although shite, was remarkably well tempered and through the charred embers of Hash solidarity came a knight in shinning armor from (sort-of) down under, as Dune basher stepped forward to relieve Kanagroo Keg of duties, and in doing so served to provide an ironically sobering reality check as to what is really important in life. Its not about where you’re from, it’s about where you’re going to get your Hash Water from.
On-On
Turnout
69 Hashers (not all of whom stayed on for the circle), 8 Hash Brats and 0 Hash Dogs
Verdict
Shit, crap, too short and too hilly
Too many arrows and not enough dangerous roads
Traffic was however considered to be well controlled for the event and it was ‘well laid’
Score? Apparently not worthy of a score
HM – Bigears
The following were called into what was by all accounts a bloody BIG circle
Hares
Anita, GI Joe, an absent Liz (don’t know why) and an absent Glenn (crippled when laying the walkers trail day previous)
Virgins
Lena from Russia. Call her if you ever want to go. Will come again
Liz from Wales. At the opening circle claimed to be a spy not a Virgin (or am I getting confused with Lena?). Might come again
Bryan from Essex, and who is a fat controller. Will come again
Dan and Justin who never made it back from the run
Jenny and Pete in transit from South Africa to Australia. Let us know if you seen Dan and Justin on your way…
Leavers
Unfortunately none
Hash Birthdays
Sylvia, 21 again
Little John, in 3 weeks time??
Swelling Members
Sylvia
Anita
Gernhard
… All of whom claimed not to have been given a hash number, so joined by Carpet Burns.
Hash Social
Was a ‘good’ progressive dinner
New dates for your diary:
30th November – Brunch at Revolving Restaurant
13th December – Hash Xmas Part, venue TBA
17th January – Hash Ball (instead of Valentines Ball)
Hash Water
Another plea was made for someone to relieve Kangaroo Keg of hash water duties after 2 years stoic service to the Hash. This time a gallant soldier stepped up to the plate, Dunebasher! A new hash hero is born.
RA – Perthy Throwup
PT started on a somber note with 60+ people on the night please let VB know if you are bringing anyone any virgin so that we don’t frighten Truffles with a potential lack of food. PT Then made the following charges:
New Shoes
It was like a new term at school! Down-downs were enjoyed from the following members’ footwear:
Aarfabithore
Justin
Gernhard
Dunebasher
+ 3 more!
And to uphold the a-sexual traditions of the hash:
Yellow T-Shirts
GI Joe - and also wearing thongs as per normal
Hernia - even though in protest that it a Hash shirt; they all count!
Pink T-Shirts
Shane - because he is in-touch with/touching his feminine side
Ralph for having phone sex with someone in Sweden in his office at the Embassy while the Hash were socialising post run and
Sebastian for being the result of previous like-encounters between Ralph and Sweden
Phone Abuse
Anita and Ball Breaker for phone abuse, irrespective of whether or not it was to sort the food out and despite the protest of faithful husband Big Ears and Pashmina for phone abuse as the phone abuse charges were being made!
Taria for being Finland where it is freezing bloody cold, with snow (and Nokia) and being in Abu Dhabi where it is boiling bloody hot, with sand (and dish-dash) and wearing a track suit!
Progressive Dinner
Heather and Anita for fighting over whether America or Canada is better all night long. Awww, bless these new world countries trying to forge a sense of identity. Be proud of your shared heritage, you were all British once!
Jolly Rogerer for coming outside of PT’s apartment then falling down a hole
Jolly Rogerer for lost property from the progressive dinner
Charges from the Floor
More from the Progressive Dinner
All those that couldn’t find Heathers place for dessert and ‘oops’ ended up at a Russian Whorehouse:
Dunerbasher
Please Finger Me
Russell
Jolly Rogerer and Whiplash for flashing at Please Finger Me. Who was sleeping.
Finally
Jolly Rogerer was charged by Dunebasher for always sticking her hand up every time HM calls for any virgins. Can someone please break her in?
The Grub
Chinese. From the Chinese, I believe
New run start time due to diminishing light: 1745 Hours
PLEASE:
Let us know if you are planning to bring a virgin along
Clean up after yourself at the on-back
and please shut up during hash circle!
If you haven’t Hared any runs or hosted the Down-Downs, Teaboy, Georg with one E and Herman would like to talk to you. We all need to take our turns
Social Events
Wednesday 3rd October 2007
Dhow trip followed by bottle session back at the Club
1830 and 2030 hours respectively
NEW EVENTS – Quite a Few!
Friday 19th October 2007
Autumn Fayre ’07 – family fun day at Breakers Social Club
Thursday 1st November 2007
Marine Corps Ball @ Intercontinental
Please confirm attendance ASAP
Friday 30th November 2007
Brunch at the Revolving Restaurant
Friday 13th December 2007
Hash Xmas Party, Venue TBA
AL AIN RE-HYDRATION RUN – 23rd to 24th November NTNH Site (2006), Al Ain, UAE. Please see Website for details
HASH VALENTINES BALL – with Mainland and Wasps at The Club – February
WORLD INTERHASH – 21st-23rd March
Further details to follow as an when…Available on the web site … …
A story I was sent about ‘Ralph’…
When Ralph first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife.
But after several weeks, his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches.
Ralph became quite concerned. He was having problems dressing and even walking. so he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist.
After an initial examination, the doctor explained to the couple that, though rare, Ralph's condition could be fixed through corrective surgery.
"How long will Ralph be on crutches?" the wife asked anxiously.
"Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised doctor.
"Well," said the wife coldly, "you're gonna lengthen his legs, aren't you?
And another about Chocolate. Frankly I was disgusted but thought I’d share…
Mr Cadbury and Miss Rowntree met on a Double Decker, it was After Eight.
She was from Quality Street, he was a Fisherman's Friend.
On the way they stopped at a Yorkie Bar, he had a Rum and Butter, she had a Wine Gum.
He asked her name, "Polo, I'm the one with the hole" she said. "I'm the one with the nuts," he thought! Then he touched her Milky Way.
They checked in to a hotel, and went straight to the bedroom. Mr Cadbury turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic.
It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt her Cream Egg. He fondled her Flap Jacks then he showed her his Curly Wurly and Tic Tacs.
Miss Rowntree wasn't keen to have any Jelly Babies, so she let him take a trip down Bourneville Boulevard via her Party Ring. He was pleased as he always fancied a bit of Fudge. It was a magic moment as she let out a scream of Turkish Delight.
When he pulled out, his fun size Mars Bar felt a bit Crunchie. She wanted more, but he needed Time Out, however, he noticed her Pink Wafers looked very appetizing. He did a Twirl, had a Picnic in her Sherbet Dip and finished off by giving her a Gob Stopper!
Unfortunately, Mr Cadbury then had to go home to his wife, Caramel. Sadly, 3 days later his Magnum lolly started to drip. It turned out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Basset who had Allsorts!!!
Don’t forget –
· Please recycle all cans – Perthy will take all cans back to assist their Harriss with an early return to Bangladesh – so please put all food scraps in a separate bag
· If you haven’t Hared any runs or hosted the Down downs Dancing Queen would like to talk to you. We all need to take our turns
· Numbers have been climbing so if you are bringing Virgins along please let Hash Committee know as we would hate to be embarrassed by shortage of food and even worse run out of Hash Water
AUH4 WEBSITE
Don’t forget to look up the AUH4 website. Many thanks to Sheila for putting so much effort into a GREAT website - and check out any incriminating photos of yourself!!
Web site - where you are now
Click to be transported to photo site No longer accessible to anyone in the UAE!
New Photo Site
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