FOOTPRINT

The official organ of the Abu Dhabi Island Hash House Harriers AUH4


Hashing is a state of mind- a friendship of kindred spirits joined together for the sole purpose of reliving their childhood or fraternity days, releasing the tensions of everyday life, and generally, acting a fool amongst others who will not judge you or measure you by anything more than your sense of humor."
Stray Dog (From the Global Trash Hash Bible complete reference for the Hash House Harriers)


AUH4 Run Number 1529
Monday 15th October 2007
The ‘Can’t See Shit’ Run

The Event:
Firstly, cracking change of venue!
In the United States (where else), 15th October is observed as White Cane Safety Day, as the important symbol of blindness and independence (they certainly seem very keen on the latter). Not sure whether the run was intended as an empathetic gesture to the blind community but all in attendance were left scratching their head in bemusement as they followed a hare on roller skates with not a trail visible to the naked eye to be found.
When a trail was finally discovered it went (much to the joy of Down the Dirt Track Cowboy) up and down back passages and as darkness descended the masses were literally left reaching for their white sticks as they fumbled their way through the maze of allyways to find a way back to the beach, and then on-back to the Whiplash’s Torture Chamber for blindfolded fun.

Turnout
Approximately 40 Hashers, a couple of Hash Brats and one Hash Dogs

Verdict
As usual all Hashers thought it was shit and crap
It was too long and too short
The Hares had to show where to go
There were too many changes of direction and roller blades
There was water? in dispensers? on the way round?
After all that the run amassed a rather creditable, if somewhat unusual, 9.31

HM – ‘Ooz Ee
In the absence of the newly appointed Song Master Poo (back in the Land of Hope and Glory), Sheila was let fly with his vocal chords as lead soprano as the following were called in for a down-down:

Hares
Whiplash, Franz and Connell…

Sinful non-singers
Jolly Rogerer, Mei’s Mum and Virgin AJ

To drink the remnants of Hernia’s Footprints Wine
Viagra Baby

For thinking that one week after 15th October would be 27th October
Justin

Virgins
Gavin – one of her Majesty’s own from Manchester (via Bangalore where he attended a hash). Will hash with us again!
AJ – from Washington DC and will hash again if in town!

Returners
Mei’s Mum with Jolly Rogerer for assistance

New Members
Straight in there, Virgin Gavin who was able to remember his number – now up to 1053!
Joined by Elena for not singing

Hash Naming
According to Carpet Burns, Justin always takes false trails and as such would like to name him Jinxy. Oh dear, this opened up some opportunity:
Viagra Baby suggested Up the Wrong ‘Un
Shane suggested Down the Dirt Track
and Sheila suggested Down the Dirt Track Cowboy
The latter had it so Justin was duly named, Down the Dirt Track Cowboy

RA – Jolly Rogerer
After some initial abuse from RA as everyone was being boring as there were no drinking fines, Jolly Rogerer ordered Down-Downs for the following:

Hash Etiquette- what we do not like: phone abuse
GI Joe
Brian
Viagra Baby
Please Finger Me

Charges from the Run
Whiplash and Franz were called in to answer for Connell haring on roller blades and calling on-on
French Fries for doing the hash on his skateboard and showing off then falling off
Shane for getting racy with Jolly Rogerer who also raced because she is, according to Sheila, a fast lady
For shortcutting - Mei’s mum, Carpet Burns and off-spring of Shane who refused a down-down because ‘she doesn’t want to be a heavy drinker like dad’
Shane for going down a dirt track with Dirt Track Cowboy and playing pissing games

For Animal Abuse
Carpet Burns for kicking a puppy

For Man Abuse
GI Joe was called into the circle for kissing Men (on the weekend hash brat Olivia asked Viagra Baby why GI Joe likes kissing men. GI Joe’s girlfriend Bruce is coming out in a few weeks so he can prove otherwise).

Hash Attire
Karl – will he ever learn and Pashmina (in fairness, sort of limey green but close enough to yellow for a down-down) for Yellow T-Shirts
GI Joe for wearing just one sock
Virgin AJ for new shoes (GI Joe was lucky he has already faced so many charges, otherwise he would’ve had to take it for AJ. Ah, now I see where Olivia’s getting this ideas from)

Rugby Charges
French Fries for allegedly supporting England in the rugby, however before kick-off and whilst in NRG telling Viagra Baby he was supporting France.
Pashmina for being French
All the English and South Africans ahead of the final this weekend

Charges from the Floor
None! Hungry buggers I think

The Grub
A fine return to curry

ANNOUNCEMENTS
Message from Dancing Queen:
“Don’t forget 36-0.
Quick Yarnie! Pass me the gun. I see a Johnnie.
Com on the Boks!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
I also hope Johnny cums on the Boks

New run start time due to diminishing light: 1745 Hours

Don’t forget to look up the AUH4 website. Continued thanks to Sheila for putting so much effort into a GREAT website - and check out any incriminating photos of yourself:

for the main web page

for the photo album

PLEASE:
let us know if you are planning to bring a virgin along
clean up after yourself at the on-back
please shut up during hash circle!
and no damn bitching about Footprints or I’ll find out where you live…

If you haven’t Hared any runs or hosted the Down-Downs, Teaboy, Georg with one E and Herman would like to talk to you. We all need to take our turns

Upcoming Events Friday 19th October 2007
Autumn Fayre ’07 – family fun day at the Corniche Club
Please see Jolly Rogerer

Other Dates for your Diary:

Thursday 1st November 2007
Marine Corps Ball at the Intercontinental Hotel
Please see Curtis – time is running out

Friday 30th November 2007
Brunch at the Revolving Restaurant

Friday 13th December 2007
Hash Xmas Party, Venue TBA

AL AIN RE-HYDRATION RUN – 23rd to 24th November NTNH Site (2006), Al Ain, UAE. Please see Website for details

HASH BALL – with Mainland and Wasps at The Club – 17th January 2008
Further details to follow as an when… … …

WORLD INTERHASH – Perth 21st to 23rd March 2008
Please see Website for details


British Technical Terms – From ‘Ooz Ee
For those of you forced (very fortunate) to work in the cold (temperate) UK, the following dictionary of technical terms may help decipher some of the unfamiliar language!
Testiculating - Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.
Blamestorming - Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a Project failed, and who was responsible.
Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
Assmosis - The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
Salmon Day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.
Cube Farm- An office filled with cubicles.
Prairie Dogging - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
Adminisphere - The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.
404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" meaning that the requested document could not be located.
Oh-No Second - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').
Johnny-No-Stars - A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.
Monkey Bath - A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!"

And a Welsh joke, or more likely a true story. Rather worryingly sent to me by a Welshman…
A Welshman buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.
After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and phones a vet for help.
The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself. So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the Land Rover again.
He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted.
Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round. 'Try again.' he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon returning home, falls knackered into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out of the window. He asks his wife to look and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.
'No,' she says, 'They're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is beeping the horn.'

AUH4 Run Number 1530
Monday 22 October 2007
NOTE NEW TIME
START TIME: 1745 Hours
LOCATION: CLICK TO See map; yellow pin marks the spot
RUN DIRECTIONS: Go from the city along 26th Street passing 11th, 13th & 15th Streets right to the end - a mini roundabout with the Equestrian Centre in front of you and the "Wedding Grounds" on your right. Make a U-turn at the roundabout and park in the parking lot now on your right.
MAP: CLICK TO See map; yellow pin marks the spot Click here
HARES: Poo and Bagbum
ON BACK: Tiffany and Dirt Track Cowboy’s
Its in Villa C-22 on the opposite side of the street to Ooz Ee’s place – in “green” 3rd Street. Go along 32nd Street (blue sign) towards Corniche and second left past Khalidiya Ladies Park. Might be best to park on the Corniche – location for run number 1528 – and walk round.
ON BACK MAP: CLICK

Hashers bring torches/flashlights on Monday! It gets dark now around 1815 and part of the run is away from street lighting. Although there should be some moonlight, artificial lights would help keep ankles and knees intact.

Don’t forget –
· Please recycle all cans – Perthy will take all cans back to assist their Harriss with an early return to Bangladesh – so please put all food scraps in a separate bag
· If you haven’t Hared any runs or hosted the Down downs Dancing Queen would like to talk to you. We all need to take our turns
· Numbers have been climbing so if you are bringing Virgins along please let Hash Committee know as we would hate to be embarrassed by shortage of food and even worse run out of Hash Water



AUH4 WEBSITE
Don’t forget to look up the AUH4 website. Many thanks to Sheila for putting so much effort into a GREAT website - and check out any incriminating photos of yourself!!
Web site - where you are now
Click to be transported to photo site No longer accessible to anyone in the UAE! New Photo Site

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