The Paisley Convertible

From Sam Waterston: the Busiest, Most Unappreciated Young Leading Man Around, by Neal Weaver, After Dark, December 1968:

"Getting fired from Paisley Convertible was a terribly valuable experience. I was really bad�worse than I could be. In the middle of rehearsals, I used to always have this crisis of confidence, and get very bad to test the director's loyalty. If he pulled through and liked me anyway, then I would get better immediately�I was having this terrible communications thing. Playing the whole show to the house. You know, asking all the time, 'Do you like me?'

They decided to fire me, but nobody had the nerve to tell me except my wife, Barbara.

She came to the theatre at 8:10, one night of previews, and broke the news to me just before I went on. Michael Ellis had already left for California to sign a new actor.

I decided, perhaps unjustly, that it was all the director�s fault. But I knew if I was going to get anything from the experience, it would have to be by declaring my independence: not just bowing out and blaming it all on the director. Barbara was my bulwark. She�d once been fired from a job as a fashion assistant for Vogue, and she said it was the best thing that ever happened to her. Barbara is not really all that hip as a theatre critic, but she has a fantastic knack for seeing things clearly and being able to tell you what she sees. We sat up and talked all night, going over the show line by line, moment by moment, and I kept asking her, 'What did you see, what did you see?'

I kept my anger hot, and made myself stay mad. I was really rude to the director. Really shitty. I said nasty things to him, and got up and walked out while he was giving notes to the actors. In order to stay angry and stay separate. Instead of going into hiding and burying my head, I invited everybody I could think of in the entire world to come and see me in the show, before the replacement took over. And I improved radically. I was 'my performance' for the first time in my life. The first time I was able to say, 'I take absolute, total responsibility for what I do on stage.'

You can't get into the 'I know best, I won't be told' thing, but you have to take full responsibility for what you accept from the director--and then instruct him in what his decision means. You can't just say, 'I'm doing the director's concept and see how good or how bad it is.'

There are always fights. If there aren't any, it's either a bad sign--nobody cares--or it's an indication that you and the director are in terrific accord. But some directors are so open and receptive (and some actors) and a show-down doesn't have to happen.

In any case, Sam feels he fared better than anyone else in The Paisley Convertible. The play bombed and closed right away, but he had already acquired another job and was already in rehearsals when the cast of The Paisley Convertible found themselves abruptly between engagements. And he hasn't had a free moment since."