Between Two Worlds
By Ayesha Haqqiqa
The sound of a train always filled Jack McCoy with longing. Maybe it was the haunting melody of the whistle, or perhaps it was knowing that it meant people were going to places far away. When he was a child, he’d loved listening to them as they made their way to and from Chicago. He’d watched the trains, splendid in orange and brown, as they flew past on the tracks of the Illinois Central. Now, of course, there were no more special trains, only Amtrack. But the thought of going somewhere on a train still stirred something deep within him.
Maybe that was why he’d bought the ticket to go north to Albany. He had business before the Court there, but he usually drove. Not this time. He hopped aboard at Grand Central Station, and stared out the window as the train slowly picked up speed as it traveled from the city and into the green hills of the Hudson River valley.
He was between two worlds again, he thought to himself. Funny, how his world, so vast as a child, had shrunk to include only Hogan Place and the State Supreme Court in Albany. For three years, Abby Carmichael had inhabited that world. But now she had moved on, going to the Justice Department, where Jack knew she would rise faster than in the DA’s office. Abby had been a competent second chair, aggressive when needed—sometimes a little too aggressive. Jack shook his head. At least this parting was not as hard as it had been with Jamie Ross. He stared out the window, thinking back.
Jamie hadn’t liked him at first, he’d thought. She had ridden him about his drinking, and stood up to him when he needed it. She’d been willing to work long hours, even though it was hard for her because of her daughter, Katy. He had given her grudging respect, and only slowly realized that she cared for him in her own way. She understood, somehow, how much pain he had felt after The Accident, and was there for him, helping him climb out of his despair.
Jack shook his head, as if trying, unsuccessfully, to dispel old ghosts. The Accident. It had really changed his life. No longer would he take a relationship so lightly. He had promised himself he would be sure to appreciate any special someone he found from now on. He thought back on that vow and sighed. A good idea, but he’d never had the opportunity to put it into play, until Nora Lewin took over from Adam Schiff. And that relationship posed its own series of complications.
What had Nora said just before he left? “I think taking the train to Albany is a good idea, Jack. You need some time away.” She had smiled, and handed him a folder, her hand lingering by his. “Your new second chair is a Harvard graduate named Serena Sutherland. She’ll be here waiting for you when you return.”
And so, here he was, between two worlds, that of New York and Albany, Abby and Serena. He looked out at the green hills, sighing once again. If only the longing deep within him could go away…
“Do you mind some company?”
Jack turned to see Nora standing beside him in the aisle. Wordlessly, he moved his coat from the empty seat so she could sit down. She smiled at him, then sighed. His hand stole towards hers, and they sat, hand in hand, watching the scenery as the train rumbled north to Albany.