A Christmas Story
By Ayesha Haqqiqa
Christmas is not for the faint of heart, thought Jack McCoy as he pulled the
watch cap down on his head. Sure, the
kids have fun, but when you have no kids, have no family, what’s the use of it
all? He pulled on his gloves as he
exited Hogan Place and made his way to his favorite bar.
Here, at least, there was some semblance of cheer, even if it was alcohol induced. Jack felt the blast of heat, Christmas carols, and melancholy hit him in the face as he entered. Terry was there, at the bar as usual. The small lights twinkling from the mirror behind him gave an impression of forced cheer, as did the plastic greenery festooning the selections of intoxicants which were arranged in a row.
“What’s your poison, Jack?” Terry asked as Jack took off his parka and hung it on a coat rack near the door.
“The usual,” Jack said as he went over and sat down on a stool.
“Thought you’d want something more festive,” Terry said. “Like eggnog. Made with spiced rum.”
Jack shook his head. “Scotch does the trick for me,” he said. Terry nodded, and returned in a moment with a double shot, neat. Jack paid for it, and drank about half the glass.
“You all right?” Terry asked.
“Don’t worry, I’m limiting myself to only one,” Jack said. “Just that I needed to brace myself-“
“Ah, you’ve got to meet the family,” Terry said knowingly. “I get that all the time this time of year. Christmas or Hannukah, doesn’t matter, you’ve got to go back to see the folks and people you’d rather not associate with. At least it only happens once a year.”
“Yeah,” Jack said, not mentioning the fact that this wasn’t his reason for his distress. He looked around the bar as he sipped his drink. “Not much action here tonight,” he said.
“Like there would be, on a Wednesday,” Terry said. “They’re all home watching Christmas specials, or out shopping for presents. The only thing that saves the bottom line this time of year is the parties. You wanna sign up for New Year’s?”
“I’ll think about it,” Jack said noncommittally. He finished his drink and left the bar.
It was colder now, and very dark for New York. Jack looked up at the small patch of sky not blotted out by high rises. No moon. At least you could see that from the city. Stars? Forget it. Somehow, that made him feel even more lonely. He shook his head and flagged a cab, giving the address of his brownstone on the west side.
He went in the vestibule and checked his mailbox. A card wishing season’s greetings from his cable company. A bill. Nothing else.
“Wouldn’t cost her to send me a card,” he muttered as he unlocked his door and went inside.
The apartment was gloomier than usual, due to the fact that he’d recently purchased a set of insulated drapes to go over the windows. Living in a converted brownstone had its charms, but freezing to death from the cold leaking in through tall windows was not one of them. The heat problem had been solved, but now no light came in through the curtains, and if he wanted any, he had to pull them back, inviting in cold and defeating the purpose of the drapes.
He put his coat up and turned on his computer. Maybe there would be an email, he thought. Come on, it didn’t take a minute to create one of those electronic greeting cards. He stared as his server filled his inbox. Enlarge your organs. Lose weight. Consolidate debt. He started hitting the delete key automatically. It wasn’t until he’d deleted it that he realized there was a bonafied email in the bunch. Cursing, he went to the Deleted Items folder to find it.
There it was. The subject line was “Hi”, but what was important was the address: emccoy. It was from her. He opened it up and read:
Hi
Sorry such a short note. Hope you have a warm place to be tomorrow. Wish I could be there, Dad, but you know how things are. Wohlenstein wants someone to be here for the holiday shift, and it means a chance at making junior partner. I’ll be thinking of you while I’m hard at work, defending our rich but drunk clients in Night Court tonight and tomorrow.
Love,
E
Jack sat staring at the message for some time. She was so like him in so many ways. He remembered taking time for work at the expense of his family. That’s what had caused his divorce. Of course, Elizabeth was smarter than he’d ever been-she had said she’d never marry. He knew of at least two former boyfriends, and was sure there were more. He sat back, wondering. Was she between lovers? Did she volunteer for holiday shift to stave off the loneliness that crept into your bones, making you feel cold and empty inside?
No, he thought to himself as he got up from the computer. That only came with age. Young people think they’ll live forever, he mused. It was only now, with the onset of pains and lack of stamina that he realized what aging really meant. You still felt just as young inside-well, wiser, perhaps, but still young. It was your body that started letting you down. Maybe these people who talk up family had something. Even going to a house where you saw relatives you never saw the rest of the year would beat sitting alone in a darkened apartment.
Oh well. He went into the kitchen and heated up some soup. Nothing special, but it was comfort food. He brought a mug back to the living room, where he finished looking over his email before clicking on his favorite sites. Somehow, they held no interest for him tonight, and he turned the computer off. He went over to the couch and lay down. He pulled out the remote from under the cushions and turned on the set.
Thank God for cable. You could find something other than Christmas specials to distract you. He settled on a program on engineering on the History Channel. He finished his soup and laid the mug on the floor. Soon his eyes grew heavy….
Someone was shaking him, ever so gently.
“Dad-Dad-“
He opened his eyes. She was there. It was still dark-it must’ve been midnight-but seeing her was as if it were noon on a midsummer’s day.
“Elizabeth-“ he said as he sat up.
She stood there, her face pink with cold, grinning.
“I got bored waiting for them to bring in a client from the drunk tank,” she confessed. “So during the lunch break I decided to come by and see you.”
Jack grinned. “I’m glad,” he said. “Take your coat?”
“Can only stay a minute,” she said, and paused. “You know, it gets sort of lonely at Christmas here in the city when you’re by yourself.”
Jack put his hand on her shoulder. “I know,” he said softly. “How about this? I’ll go back with you to court. Ought to shake up some of the junior ADAs to see me there. I’ll sit in the back with you until you’re called on a case. Then I’ll watch you and play the part of a very proud father.”
“I’d like that,” Elizabeth said, as she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.
You must be brave to face Christmas, Jack thought as he rode with his daughter in the cab through the night. But it helps to have someone you love by your side.