Jumping to Conclusions
By Ayesha Haqqiqa
All went well for Jack McCoy the next two months, as he slowly put his life back together. His tutoring became a full-time job, especially after he taught two seminars on prosecutorial techniques. Professor Jenkins was pushing for him to be given instructor status by the summer semester, and had introduced Jack to the head of the department, Merlin Samson. Samson had been polite, and Jack was filled with hope.
And he and Nora had continued to grow closer. Although Jack still insisted on paying her half his earnings as rent, he knew that it was his companionship that meant the most to her. Though they were both busy with their jobs, they ate supper together every night, and then would retire to the living room, where they would sit together on the couch and listen to jazz or classical music, relishing in their closeness.
There was something about mature love that was sweeter, somehow, than the intensity of young passion. Though Jack and Nora had kissed, they had never gone beyond that; Nora seemed content with his closeness, and Jack wasn’t really sure, for his own sake, that he should go farther. To become lovers would have made him feel like a kept man, and he didn’t want such feelings to cloud their relationship. One day, he promised himself, he’d find out how Nora truly felt. One day.
He’d been saving his money for some time, not spending it on clothes or books. Nora had never asked what he did with it, and he respected her for that. He’d kept it in a box in the top drawer of the dresser, and every week he counted it. For he was saving up for something special.
Something special was happening in his professional life as well. It was mid-March, and he was due to have his license reinstated. But he had not received word, and he had become nervous and irritable.
“You don’t suppose Johnson has blocked my reinstatement?” he asked Nora over breakfast one morning.
“No, I just don’t think the Bar Association knows how to get in touch with you,” Nora replied patiently. “Why don’t you give them a call today?”
“I’ll do better than that,” Jack said. “I’ll go and talk with them. I’ve some other business to do in that part of town, anyway.”
Nora looked at him curiously. “You’re not going to lob rotten eggs at Hogan Place, are you?” she asked.
“No, not even if I find Johnson has managed to throw a monkey wrench in the works,” Jack replied with a grin. “Tell you what, I’ll come by your office afterwards and take you out to lunch.”
“Fine,” Nora said, “That sounds great! Just be sure to tell me what you find out!”
Jack changed into his charcoal gray suit, noting that he was finally filling out again. One of the few times he’d let go of his earnings was to take the suit to a nearby tailor to be altered so that it still fit. The shirts that once belonged to Dan Lewin Junior finally really fit him, and he felt confident as he took the subway to the Bar Association offices.
It didn’t really hit him until he entered the building. Here was the place where he was disgraced, forced to listen as Lionel Johnson gave evidence against him, which resulted in the suspension of his license. Jack shivered as he went up to the reception desk.
“Excuse me,” he said, “I was wondering if you could give me some information. I’m Jack McCoy, and I need to see—“
The secretary looked up. “Oh, Mr. McCoy!” she cried. “We’ve been trying to get in touch with you! Your license was reinstated last week. We tried phoning your apartment, but the line was disconnected. And our letter came back ‘addressee unknown’.”
“Yes,” Jack said quietly. “I moved, and then became ill—well, I thought I’d better come and see about things.”
“Frankly, I’m glad,” the secretary said. “Many of us here felt that the decision last year was unjust, and we were concerned—that something had happened to you.”
“Oh, it did,” Jack said, fiddling with his signet ring. “But mostly for the better. Thank you for the information.” He smiled and walked out of the building.
It was strange, being this close to Hogan Place and the courthouse. He’d spent nearly half his life there, but now it seemed to be foreign territory. He shook his head; no ghosts were going to haunt him today. He had an errand to run.
The shop was tiny, but the merchandise exquisite, and all hand-made by the proprietor.
“Mr. McCoy!” The Native American came around the counter and shook Jack’s hand. “It’s been ages since I’ve seen you. You are looking well! Have you come to buy a present for your mother or one of your sisters today?”
“No, Amos, I’ve come to buy a ring for a special lady,” Jack answered. “I plan to ask her to marry me, and I had to have a Red Hawk ring to pop the question.”
“I’m honored,” Amos Red Hawk bowed. “I’ve been doing a lot in silver lately, but I still have some gold filigree—” He brought out a tray of rings, each delicately handcrafted. “Do you know her size?” he asked. “If not, I’ll size it for her when she comes by the shop.”
“I think she’s a size 6,” Jack said as he picked up a ring done in gold with small purple stones. “Are these amethyst?” he asked.
“Yes,” Red Hawk nodded. “Her birthstone?”
Jack nodded. “I missed her birthday—I was ill with pneumonia.”
“Well, you’re giving her a wonderful gift now, if you’re asking her to be your wife,” Red Hawk said.
“We’ll see about that,” Jack shrugged. “How much is it?”
“$450,” Red Hawk replied. Jack winced. The Native American noticed this, and quickly added, “but for you, I’ll make a deal. Say, $325.”
“That’s knocking off too much,” Jack said, inwardly breathing a sigh of relief. “Here’s $350.”
Red Hawk shook his head. “You’d never make a horse trader, Jack McCoy.” He grinned and placed the ring in a small box, which Jack placed carefully in his suit coat pocket.
Jack left the shop, and began walking. It wasn’t that he didn’t have subway fare—he just felt exuberant. His license to practice law was reinstated, the ring was bought—now all he had to do was take Nora to lunch and pop the question.
Nora was busy when he went into her office, but he pulled up a chair and made himself at home.
“I’ll just be a moment, Jack,” she said. “I promised Professor Samson I’d have these TA evaluations on his desk by two, and if we go out for lunch—“
“Take your time,” Jack said, leaning back in the chair and crossing his legs. “I don’t have a tutoring session until two.” He uncrossed his legs.
Nora finished the paperwork rapidly. As she got up, Jack rose too, and helped her on with her coat.
“Now tell me the news,” she said as they walked down the corridor.
“Nothing much to tell,” Jack muttered.
“Oh no?” Nora looked at him and smiled. “Then how come you couldn’t sit still in the office? You must have crossed and uncrossed your legs a dozen times!”
“Just twice,” Jack grinned. He sighed. “You were right—the Bar Association had been trying to get in touch with me for the past week or so. I’m reinstated in good standing.”
“Oh, and now you get the joy of serving on committees again and paying dues!” Nora teased. She looked concerned as a shadow passed over Jack’s face.
“Dues. I’d forgotten about them. I must owe several hundred,” he said.
“Don’t worry about it,” Nora tucked her hand in his. “Let’s just enjoy the day.”
Jack led them to a small sidewalk café where the salads were good and the prices low. Nora chose a chef salad and Jack the garden salad, which was the cheapest item on the menu.
Nora noticed this and said, “Jack, if you’d like me to pay—“
“No,” Jack said, “I can afford it. I just don’t know for sure how I stand with you. So I’d like to find out. You’ve let me stay at your house, and you’re wonderful company, and—hell, Nora, I’m usually better with words—“ He drew the small box from his pocket and opened it. Holding the ring in his fingers, he asked, “Nora, will you marry me?”
Nora looked at him, her eyes bright with tears. “I think the ring will fit fine, don’t you?” she asked. “Because I truly love you, and would love to be your wife.” Jack slipped the ring on her finger, and they sat, holding hands, staring into each other’s eyes, until the waitress came with the salad.
“This is wonderful,” Nora said, barely touching the food on her plate. She gazed into Jack’s eyes and smiled. “I get out of my last class at five. When are you done tutoring?”
“Today? Oh, just the one student, I’ll be done by four,” Jack replied. “What have you got in mind?”
“Thawing out some steaks, having a candlelight dinner, and then—well, celebrating our engagement,” she said. “I don’t care if this is a public place—“ she leaned over and kissed him. “You’ve made me very happy,” she said.
Somehow, they managed to finish their lunch, and walked back to Nora’s office, arm in arm.
“Oh my!” Nora exclaimed when they got there. “I’d forgotten—I have to get Professor Samson those evaluations! And my class is at the other end of campus!”
“I’ll take them,” Jack offered. “Samson’s office is on the way to my tutoring room.” Jack had recently acquired a small space in a house just off campus where he did his tutoring.
“Great,” Nora said, placing the evaluations in a manila envelope and handing it to Jack. “Jack, you are a life-saver!”
“I think you have that backwards,” Jack said, leaning over and kissing her. They lingered over the kiss, neither one willing to let go. Nora finally broke off, reluctantly, and bustled away.
Jack was whistling as he walked down the corridor of the Administration Building. Samson’s office was at the end of the hall. He stopped short of the door way; someone inside was talking loudly, and sounded like they were drunk.
“I tell you, Merl, it was priceless! I saw Nora and her live-in boyfriend kissing over salad! He’d just given her a ring—looked like something you’d pick up from a gum machine! Not Nora’s style at all! Daniel always kept her in diamonds, you know. What she sees in that bum is beyond me. Maybe she likes picking them out of the gutter and cleaning them up, but I thought she had more class! He was disbarred, you know.”
Someone else made a remark, but it was too low for Jack to hear. But the loudmouth was ready with an answer.
“Well, you can believe Nora, or check with Lionel Johnson,” the voice said. “I think I’d believe a sitting DA –“
Jack knocked at the door, and all talking ceased. Merlin Jenkins opened the door cautiously, and looked surprised at seeing Jack there.
“Nora didn’t have time to drop these evaluations off herself, so I volunteered,” Jack said with great dignity.
“Jack!” Jenkins forced a smile on his face. “So good to see you! I’d ask you to come in, but—“
“I’m on my way to work,” Jack said. “Another time.”
He turned and walked away, but not before he heard the drunken voice say, “Was that McCoy, running errands for her now?” He hurried down the corridor and outside.
What once had been a sunny day was turning dark and foreboding. Gray clouds replaced blue sky, and the wind rattled the branches of the trees.
His two o’clock appointment never showed, darkening Jack’s mood. Had he been a fool to think that this would work? That the world would ever see him as anything more than a kept man? ‘Daniel always kept her in diamonds’—now that he thought about it, he remembered the stunning diamond solitaire that Nora had worn when she was DA. But it had been nowhere in evidence since he had returned to her life. In fact, until today, Nora had worn no rings at all. Why? Was she afraid he’d steal them—or had she sold them to get money to take care of him during his illness?
He’d never asked about that time, which remained hazy in his mind. He remembered a Dr. Graham coming by to check on him daily. Nora had said something about him being an old family friend doing a favor, but was that the truth? He had no idea how well off Nora really was. He bowed his head. That week she took off to look after him must have made it hard to make ends meet.
And he had had the audacity to believe they could make it as a married couple! She couldn’t be making that much as a professor, and he was just a tutor. A tutor with little chance of even becoming a summer instructor, if Professor Samson listened to what the loudmouth said.
It was three, and Jack locked up the room and started for home. He would walk, because he’d literally spent his last penny on the ring and lunch. He brooded all the way home, and by the time he got there, his mood was as dark as the sky.
He unlocked the door and went upstairs. He took off his suit and hung it up. He opened his dresser drawer and drew out his jeans—his jeans, the ones with frayed cuffs. He looked at them for a moment, and then put them on. He looked in the closet and found his worn-out tennis shoes, and then exchanged the dress shirt for a tee shirt and his ratty blue sweater.
He wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but he knew he had to go out and think things over. He looked down at himself. This was the way he looked when he came, more or less. The hair was trimmed, the beard gone, but other than that, he looked like the man who hustled odd jobs for a living, eating one meal every other day. He didn’t want to go back to those days, but he wondered if he could ever escape his past. The wind had whipped up, but Jack left his coat on the rack as he opened the front door and walked outside.
Nora’s happiness was not dispelled by the gloomy weather, or the sudden storm that sent torrents of rain cascading down just as her class let out. She stood patiently inside the door of the building, thinking about Jack. He’d be home now, thawing out the steaks, choosing the music for them to listen to after supper. And this time, they’d do more than just sit, side by side, listening to Mozart.
“Professor, do you need a ride?” The voice of Mary Johnston shook Nora from her reverie. “It’s stopped raining,” the student explained. “I thought maybe you’d like a ride home, unless you’re waiting for someone.”
Nora looked at her and smiled. “That would be great,” she said. Mary left her off at the brownstone, and Nora bounded up the steps. But no one answered her knock. She dug out her keys and went inside.
The house was dark and quiet. Concerned, Nora raced up to Jack’s room. His suit was on the hanger, his shoes put away. Except for the ratty tennis shoes. Nora looked around in alarm, opening the dresser drawers. No old jeans, no ratty sweater. And Jack’s keys were lying on top of the dresser in the tray.
Nora sat down on the bed, flabbergasted. What had happened in the few hours since she and Jack had eaten lunch? Where had he gone? There was only one place Nora could think of looking for him. She got up, went downstairs, and called a cab.
The rain had started up again as Jack slowly made his way back to the brownstone. He’d walked a long way in the pouring rain, and gotten soaked in the process. He shivered as he slowly made his way up the steps. He hesitated.
“Knock, dammit,” he muttered to himself. “You know what she loves you. What does it matter what others think?” Slowly, he raised his hand and rapped on the door. No answer. “Just your luck, McCoy,” he whispered. Suddenly, he felt very tired. He sat down on the stoop and put his head in his hands. What difference did it make if the rain cascaded down? He couldn’t get any wetter—or feel any worse, for that matter.
And that’s where Nora found him some fifteen minutes later.
“Jack, where have you been?” she cried. “I’ve been looking all over for you!” She ran to him, and he slowly stood up. Oblivious to the wet, she embraced him, saying, “I’ve been so worried—“
“And I’ve been a fool,” Jack said huskily, holding her close. “I love you Nora, I always have. I shouldn’t let what other people say affect me so.”
“Let’s go inside,” Nora said, “and get dry, and then you tell me all about it.” She let them in and turned to Jack. “Stay right here and I’ll bring you a towel and a blanket. Start getting out of those wet clothes right now! You’re really shivering!”
Jack peeled off his sweater and laid it on the doormat. It had dyed his tee shirt blue, he noted with dismay. He pulled the tee off, and laid it away from the sweater. He slipped out of his tennis shoes and was taking off his socks when Nora came back.
“Good, you’ve left them on the mat,” she said, referring to the clothes. “I’ll take care of them later. Lean over—“She patted him dry and applied the towel to his hair. “You’re still cold. How about a hot bath?”
He reached out and took her in his arms and kissed her.
“I don’t deserve you,” he whispered.
“We get what we need,” she said simply. “And I’ve needed you, Jack, for such a very long time.” She leaned against him, and he reveled in her warmth. “Upstairs,” she finally said softly. “I don’t want you getting pneumonia again!”
She drew a hot bath for him as he finished undressing in his room. Wrapping the towel around his waist, he padded to the bathroom.
“I’ll bring you your pajamas,” Nora said as he entered.
“Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “I forgot—“
“Just get in and soak the chill away,” Nora said. “I’ll be downstairs with some hot chicken soup when you’re done. Then we can talk.”
A half hour later, Jack was seated at the kitchen table, soup mug in hand. “And I overheard this loudmouth talking to Samson. He pulled no punches. Apparently he’d seen us at the restaurant. He told Samson I was your kept man, or words to that effect. And that the ring I gave you was like one from a bubble gum machine compared to the diamonds Daniel Lewin showered on you. He told Samson I’d been disbarred, and—“
Nora held up a hand. “Don’t go on, Jack, I know who it is. Nolan Pettiman, and he is a petty man! He’s been an instructor for years, but has never risen to be a full professor, mainly because he drinks like a fish. He likes to gossip about everybody, the more dirt the better. He goes in and pesters Merlin whenever he feels threatened by a newcomer. That’s all it was, Jack. That’s all.”
Jack looked at Nora. “Then Samson won’t believe him?”
Nora shook her head. “Merlin has more sense than that. If anything, it means it is more likely you’ll get your instructor position this summer, and probably a professorship in the fall.”
“Then what Pettiman said isn’t the truth,” Jack said, trying to believe it.
“That’s correct. You know you weren’t disbarred! All Merlin need do is to phone the Bar Association, and you can bet he’s already done that!”
“But what about your diamonds?” Jack asked.
“Diamond. One ring. I gave it to my daughter-in-law, Lucy, when she and Dan got married last summer.” Nora looked at Jack oddly. “Did you think that I would prefer diamonds to this ring you gave me?” She caressed the ring with her hand. “It’s beautiful. And I know the sacrifice it took to get it.” She leaned over and kissed him.
Jack smiled and sighed with relief. “I let my thoughts get away from me,” he confessed. “When I overheard the conversation, I assumed Samson would believe all of it. Especially the part about me not being good enough for you.”
“Jack.” Nora gazed into his eyes. “You’ve always been good enough. Always.”
“Nora, you amaze me,” Jack said. “You loved me when I was successful, and when I was down and out. You love me even when I make a complete and utter fool of myself by jumping to the wrong conclusions. You just love me. And I love you—dearly.” He took her hand in his and kissed it.
Not content with this, Nora rose, and he did, too. They embraced and kissed for a long time.
“I don’t think your encounter with the elements did you any harm,” Nora sighed when they were done. “Why don’t we go into the living room and listen to music?”
“Aren’t you hungry?” Jack asked.
“Only for you,” Nora answered.