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Bios: | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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SCOTTJONES: Vocals, Guitar, Bass, Mandolin, Harmonica Scott was born in Fayetteville, Arkansas a/k/a God's Country but has lived in Houston since the age of 4. He studied music in school (and not much else) learning to play several instruments. From the late 80s to early 90s he was a member of Delta Groove Factor, playing various clubs in the Houston area. After the break-up of that band, he spent several frustrating years trying to produce Blind Lemon Tithead's solo album before taking an 8 year break from the music business. Until the arrest of Ted Kazinski, many believed him to be the Unibomber. Others thought he spent the time lying in bed, just like Brian Wilson did. |
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GREG VARHAUG: Vocals, Guitar, Bass Most people probably best remember Greg as the man who led the ABA in scoring in 1975. He was later banned from the league when it was discovered that his "afro" was actually a wig. Greg then turned to his second love, music. Greg played with the Goodbye Boys for several years (and still does, periodically). His versatility enables the Aztec Landlords to cover many styles of music. When not playing music, Greg spends his time promoting his "pet project", training chimps to imitate Eminem. |
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ALONZO GONGORA: Vocals, Guitar, Bass Alonzo was born in a small town in old Mexico. Poor, but exceptionally bright, he was able to fashion an electric guitar from scrap wood, baling wire, a bar of soap, and duct tape (he's known as the Mexican McGuyver). |
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Soon after, Alonzo formed an ABBA tribute band called BAAB. NOW, the National Organization for Women and Barbara Streisand sued the band and won an out of court settlement for 536,853 pesos, but the joke was on them... the settlement was roughly three bucks in U.S. dollars |
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Then, emotionally and financially broken, Alonzo was left with the choice of becoming either a mercenary, travelling the world as a soldier for hire or a mime... but his family would have disowned him, so mercenary it was. Unfortunately, he was only hired for childrens' parties and bar mitzvahs. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Realizing that all he wanted to do was play guitar, he became a desperado, so he could play guitar and kill people (the Antonio Banderas movies are loosely based on his life). | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Eventually, he came to America and joined a very successful classic rock band, Delta Groove Factor, with whom he played for several years. After the messy breakup of Delta Groove Factor, the second super group of the '80s, life for Alonzo went slowly downhill. Of course there were flashes of brilliance, for example, the Disciples of Maheshkumar, the Larry Storch Project, and who can forget his short stint as tambourine and triangle player for Haircut 100? | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Tiring of life in the fast lane, he retired to the small town of his birth where he gives guitar and assasin lessons to former members of Menudo. He is responsible for Ricky Martin's ability to shake his bom bom and to make a bomb out of baking soda and a tampon. The U.S. military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy is a direct result of Alonzo's work with Menudo and his willingness to train anyone regardless of sexual orientation. |
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Scott and Greg have known each other for many years. They first began working together in the '70s when they were in the original cast of the PBS children's show "Zoom". | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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After the show went off the air, they went their separate ways. Greg started his own music school teaching advanced kazoo techniques. Scott went to France to work with Marcel Marceau on an all mime production of "The Sound of Music". Greg later returned to television, hosting a hunting show which featured himself and a different celebrity guest each week. The show was cancelled after network executives realized that it was basically just Greg and his friends going into the woods and drunkenly throwing rocks at squirrels. Due to the need to supplement their meager incomes, and in a desperate and pathetic attempt to impress "chicks", they teamed up to entertain audiences all over Houston. After a couple of years, realizing that they hadn't made much money, nor impressed very many women, they decided that they needed something more. |
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