The Third Conversationfic
by Morgan Jenkins/Azul/Taru/Pallapalla and Heather Gough/Cele/Ruka/JunJun

Okay. Let's get one thing straight. This conversation-fic doesn't really have much of anything to do with the last two conversation-fics, as me and Morgan- chan didn't plan on making this one a fic. As for the Windex joke, whenever me and Morgan are talking and she says something that makes me go insane, I make my glasses go Tomoe style, and Hotaru hands her father some Windex to clean the glasses with.
-Cele-chan

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tomoe: *eyes go Tomoe style* HEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!
HOTARU: Daddy?
TOMOE: You again? *sigh* Windex time again, isn't it.
HOTARU: Yup.
Tomoe: *sigh* I guess I might as well...even though I do kind of like it when my glasses go psycho...
HOTARU: (hands her father glow in the dark paint)
Tomoe: Thank you, Hotaru! (gives Hotaru glasses and paints them)
HOTARU: Now your glasses can ALWAYS be psycho!!
Kaori: Shouldn't you be in bed or something?
HOTARU: NO!
Kaori: I think you should. Professor? Any ideas?
Tomoe: She can stay up, she gave me glo-in-the-dark glasses!
HOTARU: (eyes flicker red) I said NO, Kaori! (back to normal) Thanks, Daddy!!
Kaori: Ano...Tomoe...is that normal?
Tomoe: (shrugs) Happens all the time. Why?
Kaori: Because Hotaru's a freak, that's why.
HOTARU: No I'm not! (eyes begin flickering again)
Kaori: Geez, you and your red eyes...you'd think you were Chibiusa's mom...
HOTARU: Her MOM?!?! That's impossible!!
Tomoe: Anything's possible with Professor Tomoe's Genetic Engineering Kit For Beginners! Get it at your local K-Mart!
HOTARU: And if you don't buy my Daddy's kit.....(turns into Sailor Saturn and points glaive at the camera)
Children: (cowering) Yes ma'am.
Tomoe: MWAHAHAHAHEEHEE! Who ever thought that my daughter would become my best marketing strategy!
SATURN: (smiles) Smart kids.
Kaori: Is this legal?
SATURN: (points glaive at Kaori)
Kaori: Geez, you are SO irritable! What's with you anyway!
SATURN: Wouldn't YOU be irritable if you were three different people?
Kaori: But I am...(transforms into Sailor Kaolinite)
SATURN: WTF?!?!?!?!?! *faints*
SlrKaolinite: First and foremost, I am Kaori. Second, I am Kaolinite. Third, I am... (gestures towards her outfit)
Tomoe: Oh great, I hire a Senshi to do my dirty work for me.
SlrKaolinite: (pokes at Saturn's prone body)
SATURN: (regains conciousness) Daddy? Remember me?
Tomoe: What? Of course. Why?
HOTARU: I'm also a senshi.
Tomoe: Oh yeah...But you're my daughter. You're different. I don't pay you.
SATURN: Oh, yeah!
Tomoe: Except for your amazingly high allowance...
SATURN:...... How did SHE become a senshi, though?
SATURN: The perks of having a rich father.....
SlrKaolinite: Well, you see, this cabbit named Lunavis came up and gave me a henshin rod. See? (holds up cabbit)
HOTARU: Very nice. What else?...and what happened to my fuku? (re-henshins)
SlrKaolinite: I think your Glaive is defective. Mine isn't. (holds up a Glaive that looks strangely like Saturn's, but with a large pointy arrow thing on top)
SATURN: YOU have a Silence Glaive, too?!?! No fair!!!
SlrKaolinite: It's called a Noisy Glaive, not a Silence Glaive. Silence Glaive just sounds stupid.
(Usagi skips by with a bag full of junk food. Aluminum Siren and Mimete run after her, screaming "FOOD!")
SATURN: DOES NOT!!
SlrKaolinite: (sticks out her tongue) Betcha mine works better!
SATURN: I betcha it doesn't.
SlrKaolinite: Care to test that theory of yours? On three, mangle the nearest daimon.
(Kousagi runs after the hungry mob, trying to get something to eat as well. Chibiusa bounces after Kousagi)
SATURN: Deal!
SlrKaolinite: One...two...three! Noisy Blammo Whack!
SATURN: SILENCE GLAIVE SURPRISE!!! (kills daimon, taking down the block with it)
SlrKaolinite: Not bad. (her attack has mangled the daimon, and more daimon, and lots of daimon.)
(Chibichibi follows everyone else)
Tomoe: Can you two please refrain from killing my daimon? (runs after ChibiChibi)
SlrKaolinite: Well, there he goes.
SATURN: Sorry, Daddy. yup.
Usagi: (pops in) Scuse me, has anyone seen Hotaru?
SATURN: (transforms back into Hotaru) I'm right here. Why?
Usagi: wooooow! How did you do THAT! Show me again!
HOTARU: (henshins, de-henshins, and re-henshins several times)
Usagi: (eating popcorn and cheering) COOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!
SlrKaolinite: (sweatdrops) She's very easily amused.
KOUSAGI: ParellelSailorMoon Make-Up!!!
HOTARU: I agree.
Aluminum Siren: (plaintively) Can I please have some candy?
PSM: Can I have some, too?????
Lunavis: Me three!
Usagi: (bursts into tears) MY CANDY!!!!! (while she is busy wailing, everyone steals her candy)
CHIBI CHIBI: chibi chibi
Chibiusa: (sarcastically) Gee, that was unexpected.
SlrKaolinite: (de-transforms) How cute! What's her name?
CHIBICHIBI: (turns into Cosmos)
(senshi faint)
(Chibi Chibi turns back into Chibi Chibi)
(non-senshi faint)
(everyone gets back up)
CHIBICHIBI: chibi!!!!!
Kaori: Isn't she a cutie! Can I adopt her?
CHIBI: Chibi chibi chibi!!! (hugs Kaori)
Taiki: (bursts in) NO! SHE'S MINE!
Usagi: AAACK! IT'S A MONSTER WITH A FOREHEAD THE SIZE OF CRYSTAL TOKYO! HELP!
AIL, SEIYA, MAMORU, DIMANDO: (fight over Usagi)
Usagi: Um, I'm flattered, but my true love awaits. (runs over to Motoki, who looks confused)
ANN, REI, BERYL, UMINO, SETSUNA: (fight over Mamoru)
NARU: Umino?!?!?!?!
UMINO: What?!? Do you have a problem?!?
NEPHRITE: Pay no attention to him. (kisses Naru)
MAMORU: Eeewwww it's Reeeeiiiii! (kisses Beryl)
REI: Fine, I can take a hint. (grabs Iron Mouse)
Iron Mouse: Eeeewwww it's Rei! (grabs Lead Crow)
REI: I'm desperate. (grabs Ami)
Ami: (wiggles eyebrows)
(Rei and Ami run off together)
OUTERS: TWO LESS INNERS!!!!!!!!!
(Outers rejoice. Cele-chan and Morgan-chan rejoice as well.)
Yuuichirou: Duuuuuuh, anyone seen Rei around here?
MINAKO: (very drunk) You know, Anne, I've always liked you.....
Makoto: (shocked) MINAKO-CHAN! You're cheating on me!
USAGI: She ran off with Ami.
Yuuichirou: Like, rats.
Anne: (also drunk) The feeling is mutual.
MINAKO: (drunk) My name's Minako? cool.
Makoto: (beginning to get drunk) Gee whiz, I thought it was Setsuna. Just goes to show a person can be wrong.
(Haruka and Michiru walk past)
MAKOTO: <3_<3
Haruka: (noticed vodka) Oh, hey, can I have some?
YATEN: (slurred) sure. go ahead.
Michiru: Haruka, NO! Remember last time you got drunk?
HARUKA: ??
Michiru: (sweatdrops) You tried to take my clothes off in the middle of the bar. I'll be damned if you ever get drunk in public again.
Yaten: Eh, you're a bit late...
(Haruka is dead drunk)
Haruka: *hic*
SAILOR DRUNK GOAT: *hic*
Michiru: Oh god. Seiya, can I have a ride home?
Usagi: Didn't me and Marta kill that goat earlier?
SEIYA: *hic*
Morgan-chan: Nope, no, nuh-uh.
Michiru: -_-() I guess I'll have to drive myself. (grabs Haruka's car keys)
Taiki: I'm sober!
Michiru: Are you really? (takes out Breathalyzer)
Taiki: Yes, of course I am.
Michiru: Good, good. Can you bring Haruka home with us? I have a feeling she wouldn't want to crash her car while she's drunk.
KOUSAGI: I want cookies!!!
Chibiusa: (irritably) You always want cookies.
HARUKA: I'm not as look as I drunk. *hic*
Michiru: (patronizingly) Of course you aren't. Now, nice Taiki's going to drive us home, okay?
Haruka: *hic*
Luna: *HIC*
Artemis: *hic* (thinking) Maybe I can take advantage of her while she's drunk...
Diana: (thinking) Pleeeease don't tell me this is why I was born!
Setsuna: I'm sorry, Diana. This IS why you were born. You were a mistake.
HOTARU: Where did all of the drunk people come from?
DIANA: *wails*
Tomoe: I supplied them all with Professor Tomoe's Unbeatable Japanese Vodka! Only $3.00 CDN a bottle, because it's 1/4 antifreeze and likely to kill you!
DRUNK PEOPLE: ( ! )_( ! )
Tomoe: Yes, that's right! Only $3.00 a bottle! Get yours now!
NARU AND NEPHRITE: (noises from off screen)
MICHIRU: I doubt it'll hurt Haruka.....
Mamoru: (tries to kiss Beryl, but misses and ends up making out with Usagi)
Haruka: *hic* Nope. *hic* Nusshing hurtsh a rashe car driver. *hic*
QUEEN SERENITY: Now what did I tell you two?
Setsuna: Please. Serenity. This is how Chibiusa came about. You mustn't interfere with the space/time continuum. (gets drunk) ENDY!!!!
Mamoru: Whoo, that was a quick change. (kisses Setsuna)
KOUSAGI: Hey, I know you don't like my sister, but what about me?!
Cele: Oh yeah, YOU. Morgan-chan? Any ideas about what to do with *that*?
Morgan-chan: Umm..... You're now Usagi and ........ Seiya's kid. that's why it's Kousagi. Happy, Cele?
Cele: (shrugs) Works for me.
Seiya: YES! I GET TO SLEEP WITH USAGI!
Usagi: (drunk) Nice to meet you, kurimu shichu!
LETHE: *hic*
MNEMOSYNE: *hic* What have I *HIC!* told you about *hic* getting drunk, Lethe?! *hic*
HOTARU: This is getting confusing again.....
Cele: (irritably) It does every time. So what's new?!
LETHE: *hic* Not to without inviting you along?
MNEMOSYNE: *hic* Exactly!
CHI AND PHI: *hic!!*
Sailor Kakyuu: *hic*
Galaxia: I can't work with drunk minions! Either bring me Uranus and Neptune, or bring me a bottle of vodka!
Seiya: Um, Princess?
SK: What? *hic*
Seiya: Shouldn't we be heading back to Kinmoku now?
LETHE: (slides Galaxia a bottle) SK: *HIC* Nope. *HIC*
Galaxia: (drinks)
Animamates: Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Yaten: Hehehehe why would we want to go back to that dump, Seiya?
SK: There's no vodka there. *hic*
Seiya: Are you ALL vodka-obsessed?!?
HMP: *hic*
Phobos and Demos: Where's our princess Mars?
Galaxia: Wait a second, Papillon! YOU are drinking my top quality BEST vodka! That is reserved for me! And as for YOU, Phobos, Deimos, have some vodka!
Asteroid Senshi: *HIC*
Ceres: On top of spaghetti...
Pallas: All covered with cheeeeeeese....
PHOBOS AND DEIMOS: Thanks! *drinks* *hic* *hic*
Juno: i LOST MY POOOOOOR MEEEAAAATBALLLL.....
Rei: (sticks head out of door) Keep it down out there! Me 'n Ami can't hear ourselves think!
Vesta: WHEN SOMEBODY SNEEEEEEEEZED!!!!
Makoto: Is THAT what they call it these days?
All asteroids: *hic!*
Rei: Yes. (slams door)
ELIOS: *hic*
SAILOR DRUNK GOAT: baaaa-baaaaa!
(Taiki explodes)
MICHIRU: Now who's gonna drive?!?!?!
Haruka: (even more drunk then before...if that's possible) Me, of courshe!
MICHIRU: I don't think so.
HOTARU: I'm sober, Michiru-mama!!
Haruka: (tries to undress Michiru) Why not, Mishiru?
Tomoe: Hotaru, you're not of legal driving age yet.
HOTARU: Neither's Haruka-papa, Daddy.
Tomoe: But she knows how. You don't.
HOTARU: Good point
HARUKA: *hic*
MINAKO: I'M YER VENUS, I'M YER FIRE.....
Rei: (opens door) I KEEP TELLING YOU, KEEP IT DOWN OUT THERE!
ANNE: *hic* I wub you, Minako, but don't sing. *hic*
Minako: *hic* Why not, A*hic*nn?
ANNE: *hic* Because *hic* I've got *hic* aaa hangover. *hic*
Minako: *hic* I see...
PALLAS: And myyyy poooooor meeeaaat baaallll.......
(Vesta faints)
Cerces: *hic* HAHAHAH *HIC* HAHAHAH!!!
KAORI: Can I end it this time, Authors?
Cele: *hic* Why not?
(Kaori henshins)
Cele: *hic* ahahaha a shailor shenshi ahahahaha *faints*
Morgan: hurry. Before everyone faints.
SlrKaolinite: Kaori Ultima Blast!

THE END