Karenessay

Keeping Baha'u'llah: Some Thoughts on the Baha'i Faith as a Spiritual Path

We at Baha'i Angst express our deepest gratitude to Karen Bacquet for sending us the following essay. We are all on some sort of spiritual path, whether we know it or not, and Karen is on one that is less taken than most. We believe that visitors to this site will find it worth their while to read what she has to say. It reminds us, in a way of Paul, "still I will show you a more excellent way."

Baha'i Angst also welcomes responses to this essay for posting here.

I am an unenrolled Baha'i; I am a believer in Baha'u'llah who practices my
faith without being a member of the administration. This is my own personal
choice, and I believe, the right one for me. I have never encouraged anyone
to leave the Baha'i Faith; it is a highly individual decision whether a
person thinks they can cope with the circumstances within the community, or
whether they cannot. However, I disagree with those who think that leaving
Baha'u'llah behind is a better option than resigning from the Faith and
continuing to follow the Manifestation of God for this Day in their own
personal spiritual lives. It saddens me greatly that the problems within
the community -- particularly those involving over-administration, cause
people to decide that the entire Faith is one great big fraud that they
somehow got lured into by a bunch of beautiful Writings and high ideals.
The truth that their souls responded to is real, but it has been buried by
plans and demands, fundraising and teaching, authoritarian officials and
polite pretenses.

But how do you do that? How do you be a Baha'i without the administration?
Isn't the whole purpose of the Baha'i revelation to create a divine
civilization? Isn't our primary mission the unity of mankind? You can't do
that outside the direction of the institutions.

Yes, you can. Baha'u'llah tells us "This is the changeless faith of God,
eternal in the past, eternal in the future." What the faith of God is about,
what it always has been about, is for guidance of the individual soul to
know and love God, and to radiate that love towards his fellow-creatures.
This is what Jesus called the two greatest commandments. This is what Baha'
u'llah called "the twin duties of the believer". This is the heart of
spiritual life.

Baha'i culture tends to denigrate the importance of the individual. We are
not saving individual souls; we are out to save mankind. The individual
must submerge his own conscience in favor of a group decision, or the
pronouncements of the House of Justice. We Americans have to get over our
individualistic tendencies for something higher and better, and to consider
ourselves "egotistic" or "materialistic" if we find ourselves tempted to do
otherwise.

But Baha'u'llah valued the individual and addresses the individual soul
throughout His Writings. In His Tablet to the Son, He says "The influence
of individual souls is, and always will be beloved. For the influence of
each soul is its fruit, and a soul without influence is considered a tree
without fruit in the most great realm." The command to "see with your own
eyes and not with the eyes of others" is a call to the individual. And
again, He says "The faith of no man can be conditioned by anyone save
himself". There are many, many examples of this is the Writings. Baha'u'
llah has forbidden "blind imitation" (taqlid) in His religion. No teacher,
no guru, no shaykh, and certainly no institution can stand between us and
God, unless we allow them to -- and Baha'u'llah demands of us that we not
allow that.

I should point out that all I can do is demonstrate how I live my life as a
Baha'i outside the administration. Another sort of person might do it very
differently. I have a strongly introverted temperament (For those familiar
with Myers-Briggs, I'm a INFJ.), precisely the type of personality that has
the most difficulty with Baha'i community life as it is now structured. The
impression one gets so often is that the "best" Baha'is are those who do
lots of rushing about, dividing their time between teaching and
administrative meetings. Certainly that is the personality type that emerges
in the leadership, but it's not the only way to be a good Baha'i. The Bab
has told us "The ways to God are as numerous as the breaths of His
creatures." All I can do is give you an example of one of those infinite
ways.

The individual path is largely one of spiritual practice and internal
dynamics. At the very least, we should attend to the requirements for
devotions outlined in the Kitab-i-Aqdas: reciting the Writings, our
obligatory prayers, and repeating the Greatest Name. One example of Baha'u'
llah's concern for the individual is that we have a great deal of
flexibility, and we are generally expected to make choices for ourselves,
even concerning which prayer we say, and which Writings we choose to read
that day. However, I think it is important that we have kind of structure
to our spiritual practice, a commitment to attend to it every day, otherwise
it is just too easy to neglect.

Of course, attention to one's internal spiritual life need not, indeed
should not, conflict with active membership in the Baha'i Faith, but I found
my devotional life improved in a couple of ways after my resignation:
First, I became free of the inner conflicts that being in the community
caused me. It's hard to focus on one's spiritual development if community
life is making you miserable. It's a distraction. Secondly, during the
period immediately after my resignation, with my Baha'i identity stripped
away, I began to experiment with different spiritual practices --something
that I did not feel free to do as an enrolled Baha'i. A few of those things
I have kept as part of my devotional repertoire. Finally, since my
devotional life is very nearly all of "being a Baha'i" that I have left, it
has assumed an even more primary importance.

Besides prayer, Baha'u'llah continually reminds us to "ponder and reflect"
or "meditate profoundly" on His Writings. I find that this requires some
effort on my part -- I tend to read the Writings to uplift and inspire, and
I'm not as good at engaging the texts in a way that helps me discover their
meaning. Nevertheless, I think that's what He wants us to do, so I keep
trying. It is well for us to remember that Baha'u'llah strongly emphasizes
the necessity for reciting the words of God -- even over and above our
obligatory prayers. Giving us this revelation is what He came here to do --
the least we can do is pay it some careful attention.

Another thing that I think is very important is self-examination. In the
Hidden Words we are told "Bring thyself to account each day ere thou art
summoned to a reckoning". I make a literal spiritual practice of that by
spending some time after evening prayers considering my actions and
spiritual condition that day. But however you do it, I think it is important
that we think about who we are and what we're doing. Baha'u'llah said that
the thing that would render His Faith victorious was the degree to which the
believers reflected His virtues in our characters. A little time spent
thinking about how we are progressing with that is worth more than any
organized teaching project.

Another aspect of self-examination is knowing your own talents and
inclinations, and putting them to work in His service. Not everybody is an
administrator, yet enrolled Baha'is in small communities are often pressured
to do that. We all have different teaching styles, so that not everyone is
a good fireside speaker, or feels comfortable bringing up the faith to
strangers. Don't tear yourself up because you don't fit the mold. If
administration drives you crazy, then don't do administration. Just don't
do it. I don't care if they can't get a quorum without you -- don't go if it
doesn't help you in your own spiritual walk. Don't agonize with guilt
because you've never convinced people to convert to the Faith, or because
you spend money on your kids instead of giving it to the Fund. And if there
are people around you making you feel guilty about those things, then get
away from them. You are a unique individual with your own special
contribution to make to the well-being of mankind -- find out what that
contribution is, and don't beat your head on a wall by trying to force
yourself into avenues where you don't fit.

Finally, I think it is important to establish connections with other
spiritually-minded Baha'is. Even the most inner-directed person can benefit
from having someone to exchange experiences and insights with. I have a few
old local friends, and friends I've made on the Internet, and this makes a
world of difference. In some ways, I'm "going it alone", but I also have the
support of Baha'is I care about, and so still have a "Baha'i community" in a
sense.

And that's about it -- that simple and that difficult. When it comes down
to it, those of us who are unenrolled Baha'is do what we do because we love
Baha'u'llah, and abandoning Him is unthinkable, no matter what the
administration does. The bottom line is that the administration is not as
important as it thinks it is. What is important is that we follow the Path
of the Manifestation of God for this Day.

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