IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING

Baha'is for decades have tried to condense the Faith into a set of principles, sometimes it was 9 other times it was twelve and the number seems to change up to this day. Below are some of the true operative principles of the faith. Those who wish to add to this list are invited to do so.

1. The Universal House of Justice is infallible

2. Covenant breakers really really suck.

3. Women are pretty good, unless they are covenant breakers, then they really really suck.

4. Academics who disagree with the House might suck more than covenant breakers.

5. All Baha'i activities, all of them, are to be done with the goal of getting converts.

6. All religions are just primitive and perverted versions of the Baha'i Faith.

7. Independent investigation of truth before becoming a Baha'i, strict adherence to official history and doctrine after enrolling.

8. The Universal House of Justice is infallible. (Just in case you forgot item number 1.)

9. Although the Guardian (see section on the "central figure" of the faith) said the world order of Baha'u'llah would be "mutilated" without the Guardianship, the absence of a Guardian on the House is utterly irrelevant. (See principles 1 and 8.)

10. Religion and State will be united under the infallible Universal House of Justice.

11. Extremes of wealth and poverty will be eliminated by having all the Baha'is send all of their money to Haifa and to National Assemblies for nice office spaces, gardens, and other cool things for professional Baha'is.

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