| The latest Bahai Scandal (BS) on the net this week revolves around Larry Rowe who has had the temerity to suggest that maybe, just maybe, the UH$ might just make a teensy weensy or even a great big mistake every once in a while. He has now received a letter from the National Spiritual (sic) Assembly of the Bahais of Canada which we at Bahai Angst feel needs some elucidation and interpretation. Therefore, we have below a provisional translation of the letter into plain speak so everyone can understand the divine wisdom conveyed to Larry for which the Canadian NSA's letter was merely the temporal vehicle. The original text is in black, the translation in white. Many thanks to one of our regular readers who helped us translate correctly the salutation at the beginning of the letter. |
| Dear Mr. Rowe,
Kindly turn around and grab your ankles, The National Spiritual Assembly regrets that the pressure of other work has prevented an earlier response to your letters of 28 and 30 May 2004. The National Spiritual Assembly regrets that it has to deal with people like you. We had hoped the problem would go away, but clearly you continue to think using your own mind, so your letters of 28 and 30 May 2004 needed to be answered. The issues you have raised about two individuals who are no longer members of the Baha'i community, are familiar to us. Alison Marshall and Michael Mckenny are a huge pain in the ass and we do not want anyone writing to us about them ever again. What part of “no” do you not understand? The National Assembly had hoped that in asking Dr. Mohsen Enayat to visit you and discuss your perspectives in light of the related Baha'i principles, you might finds new ways of viewing the matter that were more in harmony with fundamental Baha'i beliefs. We know Dr. Mohsen Enayat said he came to visit you on his own as a friend, but actually he went with at least a tacit understanding with us that he was to find out what the hell it is you are thinking, but we did not want to say so directly. He says you are a heretic and we agree. It appears that despite Dr. Enayat's efforts in person and in follow-up correspondence with you, the views you have held for several years remain unchanged. Can you spell “Covenant Breaker”? The challenge before you remains one of accepting and upholding the divinely-conferred authority of the Universal House of Justice to take whatever decisions it finds necessary and timely. The Universal House of Justice is infallible with respect to everything. Even God does what the UHJ desires, so why the hell don't you? You need to be like David Fiorito. Also, here is a web page that you can go to which will teach you to sing songs about how wonderful the UHJ is and how great the Bahai Fund is: http://members.shaw.ca/bounties/songse.htm Please send as much money to the fund as you can before we are forced to kick your great big fat ass out of our club. This is a fundamental principle of Baha'i belief and is an essential safeguard to the unity of the community. This is the only thing you have to believe to be a Bahai. The rest is just bullshit. Should a person find that he can no longer accept the system of belief Baha'u'llah teaches, for whatever reason, he cannot be compelled by anyone else to do so or be prevented from making the decision to renounce it - nor would any discredit be associated with such a decision. If you do not worship the UHJ as the pre-existent and infallible Creator of the Universe, then you are a morally flawed human being and frankly we do not want to deal with you. Why don't you, Alison, Michael, Steve, and Bahai Angst go jump into the St. Lawrence River in mid-winter? What is not acceptable is to proclaim oneself a believer but persistently behave in a way that blatantly rejects fundamental teachings and risks undermining the unity of the community. You cannot say you are a follower of Baha'u'llah if you do not worship the UHJ. We have a monopoly on who can say he or she is a Bahai and don't you dare challenge this. Your insistence on your view of errors you allege the House of Justice has made, As we have said, the only thing you have to believe in to be a Bahai is that the UHJ is infallible regarding everything. Since you do not believe this . . and your continued discussion of this matter with others, will leave the National Spiritual Assembly no alternative but to reconsider your membership status. and since you continue to talk and write to other people about your disgraceful and disgusting belief that the UHJ every once in a while can make a mistake we cannot wait to kick your ass out. We only wish that Bahai Angst were a BIGS so we could through his ass out at the same time. We also wish Steve Marshall would move to Canada so we can throw his ass out too. What the hell are they doing down there in New Zealand? They are even slower than we are. We hope the issue you face is clear and assure you of the National Spiritual Assembly's ardent prayers. Do you hear us? We hope and pray you will go away. With loving Baha'i greetings, Fuck you. NATIONAL SPIRITUAL ASSEMBLY OF THE BAHA'IS OF CANADA |
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