A Letter from Fuzz Man....

To: Leathergirl
From: A Furry Friend

            Dear Leathergirl,

It has come to my attention about this um... er, "JC Popsicle" site. Ugh, that is soooo tacky! Like, ... ew? Alrighty, anyway, I just wanted to say that I'm really not feeling the love here. Why isn't there a RICHARD site? I mean, like, dedicated to me?

Alright, here's what I'm thinking. ::whips out interior designer planner:: Alright, furr wallpaper -- now, don't get all fussy here, I'm open tto color suggestions, though personally I like brown furr -- and little flies, kinda swarming around me? I can do animated gifs of that! And of course, an "I LOVE RICHARD" page, with all the scenes of me with my shirt off. (Can we cut out pictures from Playgirl and paste them onto me? I think that would be best.)

Anywho, you just think about that, darling. Oh, and have I mentioned that LEATHER is SOOOO passe? Like,.... ick? Try furr or suede, preferrably in shades of brown.

Byebye love,
Richard

   A Letter from Nathaniel....
To: Leathergirl and Bad Popsicle
From: Nathaniel

        Dear Bad Popsicle and Leathergirl,

 It is I, Nathaniel, your pretty shapeshifter. I was just wondering... do you think I could have my own page too? Like, I'm thinking something with purple velvet... y'know? I'm just thinking that JC and Richard shouldn't be the only ones getting their attention and stuff. For an extra, you'd think I'm alot hotter than like, Shang-Da or that Damian dude. I mean, they just don't have my class. And you know what else they don't have? My magical BOOTY DANCE! Ta Da! Here is a special showing just for you.
Love,
Nathaniel

THE BOOTY DANCE:

A Letter from Asher.....
To: Bad Popsicle
From: Asher

To my devoted Bad Popsicle-
     I was recently browsing the web when I came across your page. I was looking around and
then, I saw the awful picture. I am horrified. I have never seen something so ugly in my life. I look
not like my beautiful self, but more like the Phantom of the Opera!!! I must say, I am dissapointed
that my fans would create such a, what to call it, revolting image.

    So my lovelies...I have created a new likeness that speaks for itself. I hope this will immidiatly
take the place of that, nightmare.
    Eternally yours,
    Asher

Note From Bad Popsicle: Yeah, the picture that was here? It's missing! I don't know where it went! Gone!

OH! I feel shunned! I was surfing the net, and came across this site. I was very excited by the
appearences of both JC and Asher (close personal friends of mine). I was, however disapointed by the
total lack of myself! Aren't you two ATTRACTED to beautiful red heads, with the verility of Vikings!!??
*goes to the corner and cries*
*comes back wiping eyes*
Anita thought I was sexy, she could barely keep her hands off of me.....
*sniffs again*
So I'm not Jason or JC....I can boogie at LEAST as well as Nathaniel. And yet *beings to cry again*
yet...I don't even have my own popsicle...What...what if people think I don't HAVE one!!!
*weeps*

Do you people have something AGAINST me?

Do you think I'm not an important character?

Do I have to got to Wren to be consoled???
~Damien

Dear Damien,
Oh... well... see, we DO have your popsicle, but unfortunately Leathergirl decided she
was going to keep it for herself. I finally found it hiding underneath her stuffed-Siggy
colection, melting slowly. Phew! It was almost a goner, but I retrieved it. Here it is!
Don't worry my precious, I have plans for you tomorrow night... oh yes I do...
*rubs hands together gleefully*
-Bad Popsicle

To: JC
From: Micah

    Hi Girlfriend!  This is your Nimir-raj here.  I was checking out your popsicle
site and I notice my popsicle is not here.  Why?  Isn't the site big enough to
hold it???
    Nyah!  My popsicle is bigger than yours and Bad Popsicle and Leathergirl know
it. Wait . . I mean they really don't know it.  They just heard about it from
you.  Do they know I am Nimir-raj?
    Hey, ya know, Anita is working every night this week.  I looked in her closet
and she still has that nifty leather outfit you got her for The Killing Dance.
I (hem)needed something to wear (all my clothes were at the laundry, of course)
and so, well, I tried it on and it fits.  It looks pretty good, if I do say so
myself!
    Well, maybe you'd like to come over some night and I'll wear it for you.  I can
be YOUR Nimir-raj!!  Don't tell Anita I told you so, but you're prettier than
her.
    Just tell Bad Popsicle that there's a big Were - Vampire meeting that you have
to go to.  You know, the fate of St. Louis hangs in the balance.  The usual
crap.  She'll fall for it.
    Remember, I am Nimir-raj and my popsicle is immense.

To: JC
From: Micah

I would like to know why i don't have my own Popsicle. Now i tihnk i should
as...THANKS to me! Richard aka Whiny assed flea ridden mongral, is no longer in on
the scene. Im ANITAS mystical lycanthrope MATE thingy. I don't mind sharing her
with you JC, cos i think your sexy. Ya know we don't always need Anita.
::cough:: anyway Richard has his own pathetic excuse for a popsicle up i want one too!
::pouts::

Micah

PS Edward can be her soul mate...but im her mystical lycanthropy mate thingy,
don't you forget it!

Dear Micah,
     You are so annoying. If you weren't Anita's mystical lycanthropy mate thingy,
I would probably eat you or something. *coughs* Not in that way, Micah, get your
mind out of the gutter. Anyway, I have grudgingly drawn a replica of your stupid
popsicle. Only because I feel sorry for you! Don't you forget that!
-JC

To: JC
From:  Micah

I would like to complain...again. Even though my popsicle is thicker it
is smaller than Richards. I would like to remind you i have a big popsicle,
bigger than Doogy brains. Now gimme a proper sized popsicle. Just to spite Doogy!

Dear Micah,
    Do you know what I was in the middle of when your email came through?
Asher and Bad Popsicle and I were in the hot tub and -- well, I just want to say that
we were rudely interrupted with our little party your stupid complaint happened to
pop up in my inbox. So just to spite you and your pathetically ugly popsicle (you
really should have that checked out, I don't think the greenish tinge is normal), I've
drawn a new one for you. So there! That should teach you for complaining to me
when I'm in the middle of something important!
-JC

    Hey JC-
    What's up? Yeah, I know, you're all like, "What's Richard doing sending me mail?"  But really,
this is a serious issue I needed to discuss with you. And I've been reading your past Dear JC
letters and I'm really thinking you know what you're doing, you know?  Just the thing is, Anita's
just not digging me anymore!
    I know, I know, at first I thought it was the smell that put her off.  So after a couple months I
finally took a shower and got a flea collar for those pesky bugs.  But even after I smelled as sweet
as a dog biscuit in the sunshine, she turned me down.
    So then I was like, well maybe she just needs to be buttered up a little, you know? Like maybe
I could try some of those slick lines you always have on her. So yesterday I strutted up to her and
and was all sexy-like, "Hey baby, it's getting hot in here. Take off all your clothes."  But then she
bitch-slapped me a hard one and kneed me in my doggie biscuits, and I figured that tactic wasn't
working so well on her.  She needs something special, you know?
    So I was wondering if you had any tips to get me back in her good graces, because I'm really
missing the mating we used to do. I'd really appreciate it man, really.
    Thanks a ton,
    Richard Alaric Zeeman

Dear Richard,
    Why, of course I'll give you some tips, mon ami! I would never miss the opportunity to
humiliat-- I mean, help, a friend in distress! Okay, here are a few things I think you should
do to win Anita back. They are fool-proof, trust me.

1) Anita really likes a man that tells her what to do!  So tomorrow morning you should
telephone her and give her a few bossy orders. Basically, be the arrogant SOB you love to
be. She adores that, trust me.

2) She hates penguins, she's terrified of them. So the next time you're over at her house,
take it upon yourself to rip those horrible stuffed penguins into little shreds. Use your hands
and teeth, maybe set some on fire, rip off their heads and leave their little carcasses in her
coffee machine. Lastly, be sure to leave a note next to the destroyed body of Sigmund
that says, "Love, Richard."

3) Another thing she hates is coffee. Really. She detests it. So the best thing to do is
replace all her coffee with De-caf, or better yet, maple syrup! What a surprise Anita
will have when she takes a sip of her "coffee" and is greeted with sticky sweet syrup!
She'll ADORE you for it, I promise.

4) I think it would be really charming if you dressed in drag for her. There's nothing
like a man in a pair of sexy heels and a sparkley dress to make Anita fall in love. If you
need to, I suggest giving Olaf a call for suggestions. Lastly, be sure to take a snapshot
of yourself and send it to me at Circus of the Damned. I'll pass it along to Anita, and I
promise that I won't pass it around to everyone and laugh mockingly at you.

With these tips, you are sure to woo her heart. Do give them a try!
Sincerely, JC