Title: Buffy just the way it should be 1/3
Author: Mr Fic 2k
Author contact: mrfic2000@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: I own nothing other than the story line to this
fanfiction.
Buffy the vampire slayer and Angel the series are the copyright
property of Joss Whedon, David Greenwalt, The Fox network, The WB
Network and UPN. In No way do I hope or wish to make any kind of
profit from this. So please don't get your panties in a twist if you
read this.
Rating: pg15
Summery: sillyfic
Spoilers: a few subtle references
Couples: B/A
Author note: I hate Riley with a vengeance after watching the whole of
seasons 4 and 5 today.

Feedback please!!!!!!!


Episode 1

Narrator: Hi and welcome to Buffy the vampire slayer on today's
show....

We see clips of A.I. returning and Riley eating hay.

Narrator: That and much more.

Theme tune kicks in and the characters are introduced.

Scene cuts to the gang sitting around Buffy's lounge.

Willow: Hey Xander, You spoken to Anya since you stood her up.

Xander: Nah, figured I'd give her time to get over it.

Buffy: Where's Dawn

Giles: Does it really matter Buffy it's not like she's real.

Buffy: Yeah she is she was made out of me.

Giles: No She's a TV character we all are...see there's the director.

The camera swings round and we see Joss playing with Buffy and Angel
voodoo dolls.

Giles: Joss stop being such a muppet and get Buffy and Angel back
together.

Spike: And while you're at it kill off captain cardboard

Joss: sorry it doesn't fit in with the series.

Giles: Would you like me to convince you?

We see Giles stand up and walk over to joss. Giles grabs him by the
throat and lifts him off the ground.

Joss: O..OK

Knock...Knock

Buffy: Who could that be?

The door opens and we see Angel walk in followed by the rest of A.I.

Audience: YEAH WOOOO ANGEL,ANGEL....the audience settles back down to
watch the remainder of the show.

Giles: I asked for Buffy and Angel to get back together, Not for Angel
and the rest of his cub scouts.

Looks menacingly over to Joss.

Joss: What I couldn't just sack them for no reason. They’d sue me and
I like being rich.

Giles: Guess so

Formal introductions are made between the members of the two groups
who have yet to meet.

Buffy: What are you doing here sexy.

Buffy licks her lips seductively at Angel.

Joss: That's not the line.

Wesley: Oh Would you shut the fuck up.

Wesley pulls a hand gun out of his jacket and points it at Joss.

Gunn: No, we need him if we want jobs.

Angel: Yeah Wes, Gunn's right.

Wesley slowly lowers the gun

Gunn: Thank you.. Now this is how it's done.

Gunn pulls out a pump-action shotgun and blasts Joss in the knee cap.

Gunn: That’s for breaking up Buffy and Angel.

Another shell is fired into the opposite knee cap.

Gunn: And that’s for giving spike a soul.. Why couldn't you just let us
have the big bad back Huh.

Spike: Thanks man

Gunn: No Problem

An Ambulance arrives and takes Joss away

Xander: Now you go to hospital and think about what you've done.

Buffy: Now that's taken care of what are you guys doing here?

Scoobies: Yeah!!

Wesley: I'll field that question. I was up reading when I found out
that Angel's soul was now permanent.

Angel: So I decided to come back here and get the girl.

Gunn: One problem though.

All: Riley (Sigh)

Willow: I could skin him alive and set him on fire.

Xander: Nah that’s sooo last year.

Spike: we could kill his cow Bessie and mail him the pieces.

Everyone looks at spike with odd looks.

Spike: What?

Angel: That’s a brilliant idea William.

Spike: Why thank you peaches.

Everyone laughs at this except Angel and Buffy who are too busy
making out.

Knock....Knock...

All: Who could that be.

The door opens and in steps Riley.

The audience boos and hisses as he enters the house carrying a
picture of bessie the cow and eating some hay.

Audience Member: You Pathetic mamas boy.

The audience member throws a coin at Riley that hits him lightly on
the arm.
Riley bursts into tears.

Spike: Pussy

All: Yeah.

Xander: I think I'm staring to like you Spike.

Spike: Thanks man that means a lot

Riley who has now stopped crying sees Angel

Riley: What the hell is he doing here?

Angel: Watch your step Capt. Cardboard.

Riley: what if I don't.

Audiance: Ooooo.

Angel vamps out and goes for Riley, but Buffy grabs him back.

Buffy: Can I speak with you in the kitchen.

Angel follows Buffy into the kitchen.

Buffy: What the hell do you think you're doing.

Angel: What?

Buffy: If you kill him we can't kill his cow and mail it to him. Then
torture him into an even weedier person than he already is. If you
want to get even with Riley go eat his family.

Angel: Bu...

Buffy: You have my blessing.

Angel smiles and kisses Buffy passionately.

Buffy: Now about that soul of yours.

Angel smiles as Buffy leads him through the lounge and up the stairs.

Spike: Get in there peaches.

Riley begins to cry again when moans can be heard from upstairs.

Rob/me: AND CUT.

Gunn: Who the hell are you.

Rob/ME I'm the new director.

Gunn pulls out his shotgun and holds it to my head.

Gunn: You best not break Buffy and Angel up. I swear I'll Kill
everyone on this planet including myself to make sure they end up
together!!

Willow: Calm down that's Rob I know him he wants Buffy and Angel to
be together.

Gunn: Really?

Rob/Me: Yeah.

Gunn lowers his Gun.

Fade Out.

Narrator: Next week.. We ask the question where has Giles gone. The
gang looks around but there is no sign of Giles anywhere.
As well as finding out just what Rileys family taste like and how
well cornboy will take the mutilation of his cow Bessie.

Camera zooms in on Riley.

Riley: I am Not a loser....I am not a loser.

Closing credits.
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