little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did. The followin morning Johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother. "'Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured 'Sis musty be getting sick, becuase her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have Trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and gettin' all out of breath. "His other hand must of been cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time 'Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch. This was when her fever started. "I knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she felt really hot. Finally, I found out what was making them so sick--a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When Sis saw it, she got really scared--hey eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down at the lake by our house! "Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel biting its head off. All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from bitin again. "Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight.. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. i guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them. After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. "Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of its insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. "By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight back up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats--they have nine lives or something. This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After about 35 mintue struggle, they finally killed the eel. This time, I knew it was dead for sure because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet"

This little girl is in her house right after christmas and she is looking out her window on a beautiful day. Outside all the neighborhood kids are playing with thier new toys. She askes her dad if she can go outside. Dad: You can't. You're grounded. Girl: Please dad i'll be good. Dad: No you can't. You're grounded Girl" please dad, pleeeeeaaase! I'll do anything. Dad: (dad being somewhat of a pervert) OK, I'll let you go outside on one condition. Girl: (Looking excited) Anything dad Dad: If you want to go outside you have to give me a blowjob. Girl: (Freaking out) WHAT! Are you CRAZY! Forget it. The girl gos over by the window looks outside and starts grabbing her hair going crazy wanting to go outside. She looks over to her dad, then outside, then to her dad then all of a sudden.... Girl: OK, OK, OK, I'll do it. So dad pulls down his pants, pulls down his underwear and whips out his dick. His daughter grabs it and puts it in her mouth and starts sucking. Then... Girl: AAUUGH( spit, spit, gag, cough) Dad that taste like shit. Dad: Oh, it must be because your brother borrowed the car in the morning.

A man is in the shower with his 6-year old daughter when she asks, "Whats that between your legs daddy?" "Thats a penis honey." He replies. "Will I ever get one?" She asks. "As soon as mommy leaves for work."

There once was a guy from Nantucket, Whose dick was so long he coould suck it, As he said with a grin as he wiped off his chin, If my ear as a cunt i would fuck it.

One day during confession the priest had to take a shit. No one was coming in so the father was going to run to the bathroom. But as soon as he steped out of the confession box a woman ran up to him. "Father, I must take with you." The father asked her to wait in the booth, She went inside and the father called for Ray the janitor and asked him to fekk in confession for a moment. so Ray gets into the booth and asked the woman her sins, The woman replyed I had sex with a married man. Ray looks on a peice of paper and looks up adultry, then say ten hail-mary and bless you self in the Holy Water. Then a man comes in, Forgive me father I stole money. Ray looks up stealing and tells him to say to say five hail-mary and bless you self in the Holy Water. Soon a woman came in and said forgive me father I gave a man a blowjob. Ray looks up blowjob and there is nothing, he then looked up oral sex and there was nothing. Ray looks out the door and see's little Billy the alter boy. Ray called for Billy. "What does the father give for a blowjob?" Little Billy looks at Ray and says "a Snicker bar and a pat on the back"

A fag was at his friend's house when the friend pulled out a jar of vaseling and started rubbing it on his chest. The fag asked why he was doing that. "Vaseling makes hair grow." Replied his friend. "I rub it on my chest, I'll have a hairy chest in no time." The fag went home, found a jar of vaseline and started to rub some on his chest, thinking that he'd look good with a hairy chest. All of a sudden, his boyfriend walked in on him. "What are you doing?" The boyfriend asked. "I'm rubbing vaseline on my chest because it promotes hair growth." Replied the fag. "Ha! You actually believe that?" Scoffed his boyfriend." If that were true, you'd have the hariest ass in the world!"

A boy in sixth grade comes home after school one day. His mother notices that he's got a big smile on his face. She asks, "Did anything special happen at schhol today?" "Yes mom i had sex with the English teacher!" The mother is stunned. "You're going to talk about this with your father when he gets home." Well, when dad comes home and hears the news he is pleased as punch. Beaming with pride he walks over to his son and says, " Son, I hear you had sex with your English teacher." "That's right, Dad." "Well, you becam a man today - this is cause for celebration. Let's head out for some ice cream, and then I'll buy that new bike you've been asking for." "That sounds great but can i have the football instead? My ass is killing me."

One day a man was sunbathing on a nude beach when he noticed a little girl staring down at him, so he put a newspaper over his private parts. The girl asked him what that was and he explained that it was his bird and he kept it under there so it wouldn't fly away. When the little girl left he decided to take a nap and when he woke up he found himself in a hospital room "What happened?" He asked. The little girl stepped in and said "While you were sleeping I wanted to play with your bird. But it spit at me, so I broke it's neck , crushed its egss, and set its nest on fire.