Interview
Corey Vilhauer

Vilhauer walks out and grabs a mic.  “Well, ladies and gentlemen, with the circumstances that arose last week, I am sure you all are wondering what is going on with the status of my career.  I, Corey Wayne Vilhauer, am still president of the SFWF.  But by throwing you a curveball, you all thought I was actually retired.  No.  I just needed to focus my time on righting the wrongs made by Jimmy P. and Owen and Stepdaddy.  These three men were my bane, my sole reason for retiring.  Now that I have taken care of two of them, only Peterson remains.  And I know the way to get to Peterson is to break apart his “family”, Seasoned Meat.  So tonight, we as wrestling fans will see Jim Peterson take on Seasoned Meat member Wyatt Ensz.  Now, I realized earlier this week that I was unfair to Owen Haubert regarding the rumble last week.  Well, to make it up to him, I propose a match.  Owen.  I cannot just give you a spot, it would be unfair to those of us who earned it.  But what I can do is this.  Tonight’s main event will be Owen Haubert vs. Eric Swanson.  Owen, if you win, you get Eric’s spot in the cage match.  The U.S. belt will not be on the line.  And finally, a message to Stepdaddy, wherever he is.  Stepdaddy, don’t think we are finished.  You tried to hit me where it hurt, then ran away when you realized what you were up against.  I will NOT FORGET IT!!”
 

SFWF Women’s title match
Tracy Holmoe vs. Nichole Green

This match was just getting under way when Laura Kumm walked out.  Kumm grabbed a mic and complained about how she should have won the title way back at OYT:Executive decision.  Nichole refused to listen, and explained how Bianka Groves would be her opponent for this years King of the Ring.  Kumm didn’t want a match at KotR, she wanted one TONIGHT.  This prompted new commissioner Jason Hofer to walk out to the ring.  Hofer made an official match - Holmoe vs. Green vs. Kumm.  Furthermore, the winner of the match, and therefore the Women’s champion, would face Breezy Bryant at King of the Ring.  Hofer left and the match was under way.  Kumm went after Green right away, with Holmoe standing back.  Holmoe hit any woman who had her back turned.  Green threw Kumm against the ropes and grabbed her for a power slam.  Kumm was dazed, and Holmoe threw Green out of the ring and pinned Kumm.  Kumm kicked out, but Holmoe got her down again for a two-count.  Holmoe, frustrated, got up and kicked Kumm in the side.  By this time, Green had entered the ring and was going after Holmoe.  Holmoe and Green went at it for a while, until finally Holmoe went to the top turnbuckle to drop kick a dazed Green.  Kumm jumped up, grabbed Holmoe and threw her into the ring off the turnbuckle.  Kumm followed up with a rollup pin move and got the three count.  LAURA KUMM IS THE NEW WOMEN’S CHAMPION!!!  With the win, Green walked over to congratulate her.  Kumm stuck out her hand to shake Green’s, but was blindsided by Green’s other fist.  Bianka ran out to stop the onslaught, but was tripped up by Andres Torres, who had also ran out.
Winner: Kumm
 

Jasin Hoeferr/Jared Rychtarik vs. Beka Reiser/Bianka Groves

Reiser and Groves wrestled together for the first time.  They won.  Because they beat the jobbers.  Good gob, kids.
Winner:  Reiser/Groves
 

Tim Schumann vs. “Mr. Russell”

Schumann started out by grabbing the big man and pulling off a fall-away slam.  These two men, both former U.S. title holders, went at it for a while, with the crowd fully behind Schumann.  “Mr. Russell” eventually gained the upper hand with a low blow to the fifteen inches of the Seasoned Meat star.  Russell threw Schumann to the ropes and followed him into the corner, where Schumann moved and Russell hit.  Stunned, Schumann pulled Russell down and executed a scorpion death drop type of move, setting Russell up for a figure four.  Schumann at first had trouble getting his legs in position, but finally got it.  Then the Seasoned Meat theme arose from the p.a. system, and out walked Sam Larson.  Larson walked over to where Schumann was, and whenever the ref would turn away, Larson would hold on to Schumann’s arm, giving Schumann more leverage, and ultimately giving Russell more pain.  Finally, the ref caught Schumann and Larson, and the leg-lock was broken.  Larson jumped into the ring and argued with the ref, while Schumann grabbed a chair.  He dropped the chair and then went to argue himself, while Larson grabbed the chair and smashed it over Russell’s head.  The ref saw this action and called the match a DQ.  Larson and Schumann kicked Russell’s ass for a while.
Winner (by DQ): Russell
 

SFWF Lightweight title match
Rumpshaker Slim vs. Ryan Swanson

Rumpshaker started out very strong, as he always does, and knocked Swanson into the mat.  Eventually, Swanson appeared to be knocked out.  R’shaker sat on his back, propping Swanson’s legs under his and pulled back on Swanson’s arms.  THE REDHEADED STEPCHILD!!!  This is the submission move that R’shaker has been working on since his last trip to Malaysia to watch the ancient Malaysian wrestlers of yore.  Well, anyway, Swanson did not give up, only because he appeared to be knocked out.  The ref checked on Swanson, and was about to ring the bell when Swanson jerked, rolled, and threw R’shaker off of him.  Swanson struggled to get up, and propped himself in the corner of the ring.  R’shaker, amazed, lunged at Swanson, who was hit with a big fat boot.  Swanson fell to the floor, but moved out of the way of an elbow drop.  R’shaker, frustrated with Swanson, jumped outside the ring.  Here, R’shaker grabbed the bell and threw it to the other side of the ring.  The ref ran over to see what landed, and while his back was turned, R’shaker smashed Swanson with a chair to the back.  Swanson was out cold, and R’shaker went up to the turnbuckle.  Then Big Fresh came running out and watched R’shaker climb.  Just as R’shaker jumped, Big Fresh pulled Swanson away.  R’shaker landed hard, and Big Fresh brought Swanson back to the match.  Swanson pulled R’shaker up, jumped on the corner, and Tornado DDT’s his way down.  Swanson went for the pin… one two THREE!!!  RYAN SWANSON WINS!!!  Ryan Swanson and Big Fresh celebrate while R’shaker rolls to the floor to meet Crispy, who had just run out.  Crispy grabs a mic and makes a challenge to Big Fresh and Ryan Swanson for next week… Them vs. Crispy and Cozy.
Winner: R.Swanson
 

Backstage…

Tim Jewell is walking backstage where he encounters Matt Miller and Tracy Holmoe.  Miller is talking with his lawyer and they are reviewing something.  Holmoe greets Jewell, but Jewell refuses to answer.  The camera starts to turn away, when we hear a “thump” and when it turns back, Holmoe is knocked out and Miller is chasing after what seems to be Breezy Bryant.  Jewell, realizing the coast is clear, attacks Miller’s lawyer and kicks Holmoe before leaving.
 

SFWF BBBoIF match
Jason Hofer vs. Cody Schlenker

Hofer grabs a mic and welcomes Tim Jewell back into the folds of the corporation.  He goes on to say how much he loves being commissioner, and how much he loves still being part of the SFWF front office.  Hofer invites all of the corporation to join him at ringside.  Corey Vilhauer, Tim Jewell, and Breezy Bryant all make their way to the ring.  Next came Cody Schlenker.  Schlenker had brought a bat and a bag.  Schlenker jumped in the ring and threw Hofer against the ropes.  Hofer flew over the top and landed hard on Tim Jewell.  Vilhauer ran over to help the two up and handed Hofer the bat that Schlenker left.  Hofer climbed in with the bat, swung, and missed.  Schlenker ducked, delivered a low blow to Hofer, and kicked him to the ground.  The two continued doing hardcore stuff and stayed equal throughout the match.  Finally, Schlenker grabbed the bag that was ringside and threw its contents into the ring… thumbtacks.  Schlenker then grabbed Hofer and tried to chokeslam Schlenker into the tacks.  The lights went out and a spot light was shone in the rafters.  Down came Andres Torres, on the harness once used by ManKid, his alter ego.  The lights came back on and Torres threw Schlenker onto the tacks.  He then threw Hofer into the corner.  Then he was hoisted back up.  Hofer crawled over to Schlenker and pinned him for the win.
Winner:  Hofer
 

Jim Peterson vs. Wyatt Ensz

Before the match, Ensz shook hands with Peterson, then just lied down on the mat and let Peterson pin him.  This prompted Vilhauer to walk out and grab a mic.  “Well, Peterson… I see that you and your stable mates have a well-seeded understanding of each other.  That is precious.  Well, don’t think you can get away with it so easily, Peterson.  You see, there will always be one person who can beat you, one person who doesn’t care about what you mean to the world of the SFWF.  Remember that, Peterson.”  Peterson grabs a mic.  “Vilhauer, I don’t care who you put in front of me, because Seasoned Meat always sticks together.  I guess that is one thing you didn’t learn when your limp dick was with us.  We don’t turn our backs on each other.  Now, I got a proposition for you.  Since your ass ain’t retired anymore, how about you show us if you still have what it takes.”  “Peterson, I am sorry, but I have already signed you in a match against Tim Schumann next week.”  “Well, I tell you what.  If I can beat Schumann, if I can overcome the terrible odds you place in front of me, then I will face you in the main event next Monday.”  All right, that is fine, but I forgot to tell you one thing, Peterson.  The loser of the match between you and Tim loses much more than that match.  He also loses his paycheck for a month.  That’s a lot of money, Peterson.  Keep that in mind.  So this is how it stands.  If you lose, you lose months pay.  Otherwise you face me in the main event.”  “Vilhauer, will you repeat that to me? I want to record this so you can’t turn back on your word.”  Vilhauer repeats the stipulation and walks off.  Peterson chuckles.
 

Main Event
Owen Haubert vs. Eric Swanson

Haubert walks out to a mixed reaction.  Swanson, since becoming semi-face, has been receiving louder and louder ovations.  Haubert gets in the ring, and Ian Haubert walks out from the entry way.  “Owen, backstage you were talking to the rest of Press Your Luck, right?”  Owen grabs a mic.  “Yeah, I was.”  “Why wasn’t I contacted.”  “Well, Ian, because you and I are the leaders, and we don’t both have to be present.  I have to admit, though, you aren’t doing the best job at leading PYL.”  “Owen, that is because PYL doesn’t HAVE ANY LEADERS!!  We are a democratic group.  You are slowly turning back to the way we were with Vilhauer.  The boys back there don’t need to be yelled at.  Maybe they don’t have the power to be in every main event, like you.  But I tell you what, most of those kids back there could wrestle you to the finish.”  “Ian, shut up and go back to the dressing room… we can talk about this later.”  As Owen is putting the mic down, Swanson kicks him through the ropes and onto the floor.  Swanson jumps down, throws him back in, and puts him in the Conjectivitus.  Haubert kicks out, somehow, and throws Swanson to the corner.  While Owen starts kicking the shit out of Swanson, Megan Meyer creeps out to help out Swanson.  Vilhauer walks out behind her and grabs her by the back of the neck.  Meyer is tossed aside by Vilhauer.  Vilhauer walks to ringside and grabs Haubert’s leg.  Owen, confused, looks down.  Swanson takes this opportunity to kick Owen, reel him over, and execute an Iron Lung.  Swanson pins Owen.  Grr.  Meyer jumps in the ring to congratulate Swanson, and Vilhauer gets in too.  Vilhauer kicks Swanson, DDT’s him, and starts to walk away.  Meyer taps him on the shoulder, and when Vilhauer turns around, Meyer low blows him.  Vilhauer falls to the mat.  As Swanson is getting up, Tim Schumann appears in the entry way.  Schumann walks down to ringside, grabs Swanson’s U.S. belt, and then we are out of time.
 
 
 

SFWF cards