interview
Corporate Sheetar

Vilhauer walks out to The Sons of Sheetar music.. dressed like Eric Swanson.  He is wearing a really bad blonde wig and a wu-tang shirt.  Behind him, Jason Hofer walks out with a ridiculous mask, obviously trying to be ManKid.  Behind them is Matt Miller, dressed as Jay Bethke, complete with Kramer hair, and Tracy (Nichole Green) and Breezy (Megan Meyer).  Vilhauer grabs a mic and starts to talk to Jason Hofer about the heavyweight title match.  "Ya know, ManKid, i'm very afraid of Stepdaddy.  He is very big, and i don't know how to wrestle big guys.  I don't know what i'm going to do, now that we lost all of our talent to the almighty president Corey Vilhauer."  Jason grabs the mic "Don't worry, poppa bear.  We in Sheetar will help you stop Stepdaddy.  You know we can't win a match on our own.  I'll just use my ManChowder and throw it in his eyes like this."  Jason takes some talcum powder and throws it in Corey's face.  "OOOOHHH!!! ManKid, i am furious!!!  I think i will kick you out of Sheetar!!!"  Corey grabs Jason and tries a very screwed up Conjectivitus.  "take that, you masked guy."  Tracy runs over and tries to pull the two apart.  "Hey, you guys.  you shouldn't fight.  lets play a little song."  Breezy brings two guitars over and some chairs.  Breezy then grabs the microphone and announces the song.  "Ladies and gentlemen... hey.  don't you think i am sooo cute?  huh?  oh yeah, anyway.  The band that stole thier name from Corey Vilhauer, and the band that stole thier songs from the 80's... Three sisters manitoba."  Corey and Jason try to play, but they cant at all, and Tracy sings very out of tune.  Matt Miller walks up and grabs the mic.  "hey you guys.  we shouldn't be doing this.  you guys suck, and i have to go back to Germany."  Corey stands up.  "You need to go back to Germany?  It is your fault that we lost all of those tag team matches.  You are fired.  again.  I wish Corey were here to be my tag team partner again."  Then... Seasoned Meat's music starts up, and out walks Jim Peterson, dressed like Corey.  "Well, you want me.. .Here i am.  Now, if you would all kindly bend over, i'm gunna SCREW YOU ALL!!!"  Vilhauer, hearing this, rips off his Eric wig and chases after Peterson.  Peterson leaves just as Sheetar rushes the ring.  Everyone runs in back, where a large rumble takes place.  Now for the next match.
 

Tracy Holmoe vs. Laura Kumm

Holmoe stayed behind from the rumble in the back to rassle the next match.  Holmoe and Kumm exchanged blows for a while, then Holmoe kicked Kumm in the gut.  Holmoe jumped outside to grab a chair, only to find Wyatt Ensz sitting in the timekeeper's seat.  Ensz jumps up, attacks Holmoe, and throws her in the ring again.
Winner: Kumm
 

in the lockerroom:

Cameras are rushed to the back to find Bianka Groves layed out in back, blood soaking the floor.  A camera catches Breezy Bryant running the other way.  Ambulances are rushed to the scene and Groves is taken to the hospital.
 

Crispy vs. Ian Haubert

Crispy, still drunk on rage from last week, starts into his former tag team partner with a renewed fighting skill.  Using mainly brawling type moves, Crispy keeps Haubert from mounting an offensive.  Haubert tries to get Crispy for a pile-driver, but Crispy reverses it into his special move called the "diaper-rash".
Winner:  Crispy
 

Ryan Swanson/Big Fresh vs. Jasin Hoeferr/Jared Rychtarik

Hoeferr/Rychtarik are jobbers, which means they are paid to lose.
Winner:  Swanson/B'Fresh
 

Beka Reiser vs. Megan Meyer

Before this match even starts, Breezy walks out to a chorus of boos.  Breezy gets in the ring and demands to become part of this match.  She tells the audience that Beka Reiser is a no good, back turning wench.  Reiser runs out and jumps at Breezy, and Breezy hits her with a roll of dimes.  Breezy leaves the ring, just as Megan gets in.  Meyer tries to get Reiser up, but Reiser is knocked out.  Meyer then just pins her.
Winner: Meyer
 

interview
Corey Vilhauer
 

Vilhauer walks out to address the business of Bianka Groves.  "Since Groves is in the hospital, hoping for a quick recovery, she will not be able to wrestle at Starcade.  I am sorry, but we cannot wait for her to become well again.  Instead, I have chosen Breezy Bryant to take her place in the SFWF Women's championship match against Nichole Green.  Vilhauer looks down at Beka Reiser, who is still in the ring.  "Beka, this of course means that you will not be wrestling Breezy at Starcade... is this alright?"  Hearing no answer..." good, then it is final.  Bryant vs. Green."  "Wait, Wait, Wait..." Owen Haubert walks out and addresses Vilhauer.  "I have noticed that NO ONE in Press Your Luck has been granted a title match this upcoming PayPerView.  I don't know if you have forgotten about us, Vilhauer, but we are the stable that PUT REAL GOLD AROUND YOUR WAIST...and we were the stable to TAKE IT AWAY...."  "Ah, Owen, you must be referring to the U.S. belt that i so graciously won back in my...uh... more naive days."  "Naive my ass, Vilhauer.  You needed us more than we needed you.  Now here we are, pulling the shit end of the stick."  Vilhauer looks around, then turns back to Haubert.  "Well, Owen.  What are you saying?  Are you saying that the opportunity to destroy Peterson isn't enough for you?  How about this.  Tonight, to test your ability to wrestle in a handicap match, you will be placed on the other side of the match up.  TONIGHT, you will face Matt Miller AND Jason Hofer in a NO DQ MATCHUP.  You don't like what i'm giving you, Owen?  Well, you'd better get used to it."
 
 
Tim Schumann vs. Jay Bethke

Schumann started out strong, until Bethke hit with a low blow.  Bethke tried to get around him and put a sleeper hold on him, but instead, Schuman tripped him up and slapped on the Conjectivitus.
Winner:  Schumann
 

In Parking Lot

Eric and ManKid are apparently getting something out of thier limosine.  When they turn around, they are met by Cody Schlenker and Big Fresh.  Both begin to attack ManKid with bats and stuff, and when Eric tries to help, he is hit in the head by his brother, Ryan Swanson.  The Press Your Luck cronies leave the scene, just as Stepdaddy shows up to see what was happening.  Eric, who is just coming to, sees Stepdaddy and assumes he committed the beatdown.  Eric chases after him, and both run around the building for a while.
 
 
Comfy and Cozy vs. Seasoned Meat

Peterson and Larson started out the match against only R'shaker Slim.  No one could find Stepdaddy anywhere.  Peterson, while r'shaker was looking around for Stepdaddy, grabbed R'shaker and put him in the powerbomb.  R'shaker kicked out, and Larson was tagged in.  Larson started to brawl with R'shaker, and although R'shaker was fighting back, Larson was just too much for him by himself.  After the win, Stepdaddy walked to ringside to find the match over.  He went up to try to explain what had happened to R'shaker, but R'shaker refused to listen.
Winner:  Seasoned Meat
 

ManKid vs. "Mr. Russell"

For a long time, "Mr. Russell" stood alone in the ring, waiting for ManKid to show up.  Eventually, the ref was forced to ring the bell and start counting ManKid out.  Of course, as we the spectators know, ManKid was still laying out bloodied in the parking lot.  As the ref counted 18, the lights dimmed and a kid ran into the ring, startling Russell.  It was TIM JEWELL!!!  Jewell used his speed to run circles around the big man, and eventually knocked him down, where he applied a sharpshooter type of submission move to get the win.
Winner: Jewell
 

Main Event
Owen Haubert vs. Jason Hofer vs. Matt Miller

Hofer and Miller began beating on Haubert right away, making Haubert look as if he had no chance in hell to win this match.  Miller got Haubert up on his shoulders and Hofer performed a sort of mid air hurracarana, to which Haubert kicked out at two and a half.  The crowd started booing then, as Vilhauer walked to ringside and took up a chair.  Eventually, he gets up and starts to taunt Haubert.  Then... Peterson's music starts, and the crowd goes crazy.  Peterson walks up behind Vilhauer, scaring the shit out of him and causing Vilhauer to jump into the ring to get away from Peterson.  Miller taps Vilhauer on the shoulder to ask what was happening, and as jumpy as Vilhauer was, Vilhauer swung at Miller, knocking him out.  Haubert got up, threw Vilhauer off of Miller, and got the pin.  Then Owen turned to Vilhauer.  Vilhauer ran out towards the back, and Owen pushed Peterson out of the way to chase after him.  Peterson turned around and grabbed him, laying him out with one punch.  "Mr. Russell" came out to help Owen, but was met by an irate Peterson who grabbed Russell and tried to power bomb him.  Instead, Russell refersed the move and started on Peterson's knee.  The lights go out, and All of sheetar, including ManKid, come shuttling down on a rope.  they surround Russell... and then we're out of time...
 
 
 

SFWF cards