Interview:
Owen Haubert

Owen walks out and grabs a mic.  "Ya know, time after time, i have been a contender.  Time after time i have been the number one contender to numerous belts, and what have i recieved?  Screw job after screw job.  From this day forward, you can bet i won't let it happen again.  As leader of Press Your Luck, i plan to use my boys to get back at President and pseudo-rassler Corey Vilhauer.  It was Vilhauer that wouldn't allow me to even compete for a spot in the cage match at King of the Ring.  And it was Vilhauer who screwed me when i had an easy win over an easy opponent.  But i guess Vilhauer still holds dear to his heart his old butt-buddy Eric Swanson."  With this, a furious Swanson strides out to the ring.  "Owen, if i remember right, it was simply a matter of self control.  Vilhauer distracted you, and you, as usual, could not stay focused on the match.  It is a wonder that you still hold those tag belts."  "What are you saying, Swanson?  Was that a veiled attempt to challenge me for a title match?"  "No, Owen, WE are challenging you and your brother.  The one thing that will make my day is taking another belt from another over-zealous underacheiver."  With this said, who else appears but Tim Schumann.  Tim grabs yet a third mic.  "Eric Swanson."  Swanson realizes who is speaking and turns around, dropping his mic.  Schumann is holding the U.S. Belt that he stole from Eric last monday.  "I thought it would only be a matter of time until you mentioned my name, or at least hinted at it.  Oh!  (he looks down at the belt)  Look what i have here!  It's your title belt.  Well, it's like this.  I know you are still the champion, but you sure don't look like the champion without this here belt.  How about we do something about that..."  Swanson grabs the mic from the floor and Owen gets out of the ring.  As Schumann is walking TO the ring, Haubert eyes him and continues to the back.  Swanson talks.  "Schumann, you'd better bring that belt back here or you will be in a world of hurt."  "Not so fast, Eric.  You see, i have this proposal to offer you.  I will give this title back, oh yes, but first you must agree to another match, this one at King of the Ring."  "Tim, you are fucked.  I already have a match at King of the Ring.  You might remember, it's the main event you couldn't quite make it into."  "Yes, i know, but what i am offering is the first ever SFWF ladder match.  This belt, hung from the ceiling.  One ladder, one winner, one champion.  You and I.  Finally, an end to this shit you have put me through."  "What?  I tell you what.  You've got it, under one circumstance... if i lose, i get a final rematch the monday after."  "Swanson, you've got it."  Schumann walks off.
 

SFWF Tag Team Championship Match
The Sons of Sheetar vs. The Hauberts

Swanson started out against Ian, who was arguing with Owen.  Ian threw Swanson into the ropes where Owen hit him with a knee to the back.  Owen jumped into the ring and the ref ran to stop him.  Ian took this opportunity to choke Swanson on the ropes.  Swanson fell to the mat, and Ian tagged his brother in.  Owen kicked Swanson around a bit, until after a few minutes, Swanson managed to tag Bethke in.  Bethke exploded with a flurry of offence and ended with a belly to belly suplex.  Bethke then foolishly threw Owen against the ropes, where he was inches from his brother.  Owen refused to tag Ian in, and Ian, fed up with Owen's power trip, walked off.  Owen, realizing this, rolled out of the ring and stopped his brother.  Ian refused to help as long as he was going to claim to be the "leader" and walked off.  Owen, realizing that he could not win without his brother, grabbed a chair from the audience.  Owen jumped in the ring, made sure the ref was looking, and smashed Bethke over the head.  The Sons of Sheetar get the win, but The Hauberts keep the belts via DQ.  Owen grabbed both belts and ran to the back.
Winners (by DQ):  The Sons of Sheetar
 

Backstage

Bianka Groves and Laura Kumm are walking by some dressing rooms.  Beka Reiser walks up and whispers something in Bianka's ear.  Laura turns to try to listen, but from one of the dressing rooms jumps Nichole Green.  Beka and Bianka run after her, and Laura is left.
 

Wyatt Ensz vs. Tim Jewell

Ensz begins the mask by mocking Jewell and his return to the Corporation.  Jewell takes offence and goes after Ensz.  Ensz uses some luchadore moves and winds up being caught by Jewell.  Backbreaker.  For a while, Jewell seems in control, but eventually is taken down by a Huracarana.  Ensz throws Jewell in the corner and kicks him around.  Jewell reverses a suplex, but Ensz grabs Jewell for a small package.
Winner:  Ensz
 

Megan Meyer vs. Breezy Bryant

The match is about to start, but Bryant refuses to enter the ring.  She suspects that something is up, as President Vilhauer has not arrived in the stadium.  Bryant eventually gets in, and Meyer goes to work on her.  Bryant tries to mount an offensive, but is knocked down repeatively.  The crowd cheers as Tracy Holmoe runs to ringside.  She calls out Bryant's name, and Bryant turns around.  Meyer takes the opportunity to roll Bryant up for the win.  Matt Miller walks out, with his lawyer, and grabs a mic.  "First of all, I want to thank the man who is driving President Vilhauer's limo tonight.  I paid him a little extra to take a little longer tonight.  My reason being so i can inform you all of a little plan i have been concocting.  I will only tell you one thing...my lawyer and i have been reviewing my contract, and we have planned a little surprise for the SFWF King of the Ring.  That is all i will disclose at this time.  But i guarentee that President Vilhauer will be in for a real treat."
Winner: Meyer
 

Backstage (again...)

Andres Torres is seen attacking Cody Schlenker in his dressing room.  Security tries to break it up, but Torres will not stop.  Finally, the police show up and bar Andres Torres from the building.  Torres tells the police that they can't keep him out all night.
 

BBBoIF championship match
"Mr. Russell" vs. Jason Hofer

Hofer starts out by relaying a message from President Vilhauer.  "Corey is on his way to the stadium.  He has reminded me to remind both Jim Peterson and Tim Schumann of thier scheduled match tonight.  The winner of this match will have the chance to face Vilhauer in a no-holds barred no DQ match up.  The loser will lose exactly one months salary.  Now, if you don't mind, i have to go pin Mr. Russell."  In the back, Russell is layed out on the concrete.  There is a note next to his head that reads... "It was my pleasure to destroy your opponent... i look forward to my reward."  The note was signed with an SL.  We all figure it is probably Sam Larson.  Hofer finds Russell and pins him, thus retaining his belt with no fight.
Winner: Hofer
 

Cody Schlenker vs. Sam Larson

The match started out with Schlenker asking what Larson has against Russell.  Larson comments on how Russell started the whole feud and tells Schlenker that he really can't stand Russell anyway.  The hatred stems back from when Larson was knocked down by Russell when he was part of Seasoned Meat.  Schlenker asked why he felt the need to help out Jason Hofer, and Larson looked confused.  Larson explained that he just arrived in the staduim only five minutes ago.  Schlenker doesn't believe him, and attacks.  Larson tries to mount a defense, but is over come by Schlenker's very existance.  Schlenker throws Larson over the ropes, just as the lights go out.
A spotlight appears, and from the ceiling comes the one, the only... ManKid.  ManKid reaches the floor and Schlenker turns to attack.  Larson gets in the ring, throws Schlenker to the corner, and starts after ManKid himself.  From his pocket, ManChowder.  The powder was thrown in Larson's face and ManKid flew back to the rafters.  Schlenker pulls Larson up, powerbombs him, and pins him for the win.
Winner:  Schlenker
 

Crispy and Cozy vs. Big Fresh and Ryan Swanson

Crispy started out in the ring against new Lightweight champion Ryan Swanson.  Swanson tried to use agility to dodge Crispy's kicks, but eventially fell victim to one in the leg.  Swanson fell and Crispy pulled off a beautiful standing moonsault.  What quickness for a big man.  Crispy tagged in Rumpshaker Slim, and R'shaker threw Swanson to the corner.  Swanson finally reached Big Fresh and tagged him in.  Crispy was tagged back in, and Big Fresh went after the knees of Crispy.  Crispy headbutted Big Fresh and went for a fisherman's suplex.  The Crispy-plex.  Well, maybe not, but it sounds good.  Big Fresh breaks out of it and Rumpshaker is tagged in again.  R'shaker and B.Fresh brawl for a while, until they both reach the corner of Crispy and Cozy.  Crispy tags himself in and puts Big Fresh on his shoulders.  R'shaker jumps off the turnbuckle and catches Big Fresh with a clothesline, just like the classic Leigon of Doom move, only with much more style.  Big Fresh is pinned, but is helped by Swanson.  R'shaker is tagged in again, and Crispy goes after Swanson.  R'shaker gets on the turnbuckle once again, and hits with the R'shaker DEEEluxe.
Winners:  Crispy and Cozy.
 

Jim Peterson vs. Tim Schumann

Vilhauer is seen arriving in the arena.  Peterson and Schumann whisper something in each other's ear and nod thier heads.  They both bounce against the ropes and they both fall down after running into each other.  The two men are counted out and the match is a draw.  Vilhauer walks out with a mic.  "Well, boys, i understand that once again you are trying to pull a fast on on ol' Corey Wayne Vilhauer.  I tell ya what, since you both showed such cunning and skill, i will do something for you both.  Instead of an entire months salary, i will only take 28 days worth.  You deserve it.  Well, i guess that is it for tonight.  Thanks for showing up fans... it is I who orchestrates the magic many of you call the SFWF.  Good Night.!!!"  Peterson picks up a mic.  "HEY LIMP DICK!"  Vilhauer turns around with a scowl on his face.  "I am sorry... HEY PRESIDENT LIMP DICK!!  I think you forgot something.  Neither of us lost this match, Vilhauer.  Neither of us lost any money, Vilhauer.  And best of all, BOTH OF US GET TO KICK YOUR FUCKIN' ASS, VILHAUER."  Vilhauer looks friegtened.  "Wait a minute, Jimmy P.  You didn't win the match, so you don't face me tonight.  And neither of you win, so you both lose the money.  Damn, doesn't anyone follow a contract anymore?"  The jumbotron lights up behind Vilhauer, and he sees his face.  It is a tape of an interview last week, with Vilhauer talking...'So this is how it stands.  If you lose, you lose a months pay.  Otherwise you face me in the main event.' 'Vilhauer, will you repeat that to me?  I want to record this so you can't turn your back on your word'...The Jumbotron shuts off, and Peterson talks.  "Vilhauer, you said that if we lost, which we didn't, we lost our salary.  But more importantly, you said OTHERWISE, we face you in the main event.  Well, we battled to a draw.  OTHERWISE KNOWN AS NOT A LOSS!!"  Vilhauer, realizing he must face Peterson and Schumann, starts to run the other way.  Larson, Groves, Reiser, and Ensz appear to block his path.  "Sure, Seasoned Meat may be strong now, but i guaruntee that every time you see the SFWF Corporation, you will see us get stronger and stronger.  In fact, it wasn't Sam Larson who beat Russell, it was my newest member."  Vilhauer walks to the ring.
Winner:  No Contest
 

Corey Vilhauer vs. Jim Peterson and Tim Schumann

Vilhauer started out by running around avoiding Peterson and Schumann.  Finally, Schumann and Peterson cornered him and started kicking the shit out of the president.  Peterson picked him up and pulled off a "Meat grinder" powerbomb.  Schumann then stuck Vilhauer in the fateful Conjectivitus.  Vilhauer refused to give up.  Method Man's "judgement night" suddenly blared over the P.A. system.  Eric Swanson ran out and jumped in the ring.  Swanson knocked Schumann over and began attacking him.  The two brawled outside the ring, leaving only Jim Peterson and Corey Vilhauer standing in the ring.  Then, "firestorm" by Earth Crisis was heard.  Vilhauer backed up, and Peterson turned around.  Owen Haubert ran out and started in the rumble with Swanson and Schumann, and Peterson turned around to attack Vilhauer.  But while Peterson's back was turned, a short shrouded person had come into the ring from the audience.  Peterson ignored the little person and went after Vilhauer.  The short person ran around behind Peterson and delivered a low blow to the Seasoned Meat leader.  Vilhauer kicked Peterson in the gut and layed the smack down with the President's DDT, the most electrifying move in internet entertainment.  Vilhauer pinned Peterson and the shrouded person took off the cloak.  MARY CAMPBELL?  Campbell continued her debut by kicking Peterson in the nuts.  "Peterson, i promised the Corporation will get stronger."  we are out of time, dood.
Winner:  Vilhauer
 
 
 
 

SFWF cards