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| yoga was much better last night. i wasn't blacking out. i was fatigued, but i didn't feel like fainting. i got through all but one of the poses and i felt great after class. my legs are sore again today, but not as bad as the first day. i actually enjoyed last night's instructor a lot more than greg, the first instructor because she spoke slower and went through each pose thoroughly for us beginners. time seemed to have gone faster and i concentrated on my body movement more than the heat. dont' get me wrong, beads of sweat were still pouring and all my clothes were drenched by the end of class, but i tried hard not to focus on those things. one thing tho, i need to bring a larger bottle of water to class. 16 oz is definately NOT enough for the 90 minute class. let's see how long this yoga phase will last for me. ;) it's a scary thing, life and it's circles. who knew that the past would haunt me now, after 8-9 years. haunt is a dramatic word i must say, but there are things in my past that i would have liked forgotten, but have now resurfaced. i'm not ashamed of my past, just embarassed. and yes, it's a boy thing. isn't that almost always the case? just the other day, i was reminded by a co-worker what a silly girl i was in high school, letting my heart roam around freely. too freely. little did i know that being so carefree about life and interest would bring me burning red cheeks of embarassment when in the present time. little did i know that i would be working with people that didn't know me, but knew of me because of my past. but isn't that always the case? life is always full of regret. but it is also most regretful of experiences in the time of youth and innocence because at those times, you want so much to believe that what you were doing then was the right thing. the right way. the only way. and when you look back, you see other paths you could have chosen. other options that you were blind to see, or maybe you didn't want to see because it wasn't in your interest at that time. it wasn't a priority, tho it should have been. your priorities are jaded but that is how you decide to live your life. i'm regretful of many things that occured in the past, but it's the past that makes me happy for where i am now. regret turns into lessons learned, and lessons learned makes you a better person, you come to see. you find peace where you first found sadness or confusion. but there is a light in the end of the tunnel. you may not have known where the dark tunnel was taking you, but eventually it brings you to your center and the bad you remember is balanced by the good you experience. while i'm writing this, i hear a song on the radio that simply rephrases everything i'm thinking. it's really strange how music can just tip your heart at exactly the right time. another turning point a fork stuck in the road time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go so make the best of this test and don't ask why it's not a question but a lesson learned in time it's something unpredictable but in the end is right i hope you had the time of your life. ~green day, good riddance i get to meet up with some friends tomorrow, so i am excited to see some faces. i hope that the weekend brings you much happiness and joy. have fun ya'll. |
| friday 07 march |