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| i've become the bride i didn't want to be. crazy obsessive and... dare i say it? ... yes... and bitchy. i didn't realize it until recently. i've had a feeling for a little while that somethings gone haywire in me, but thought that i was still being somewhat unbride-like. but after talking to one of my bridesmaids, i realized that somewhere along the line, i crossed the line to being crazy obsessive and bitchy. i don't mean to be that way, and i don't really know when it happened. in wanting to make things go smoothly and organized in planning, i've turned into bridezilla to some of my friends. and i guess that's what's been going on in this pea brain of mine these past couple of days. and i feel horrible. to some people and to some friends, i've perceived myself to be crazy obsessive and bitchy. i don't like it. i'm not happy with myself. there were a couple things that were going on these past couple of weeks, and i was fed up and wrote a strange email to my bridesmaids. i was fed up, not necessarily with them, or just them, but with everything. i didn't want a bridal shower anymore, i didn't want to inconvenience anyone, i didn't want to bother. so i told them that i would be ok with me if i didn't have one. and that's when the line was crossed to crazy and somewhat bitchy. but it had to be said, for my peace of mind. and for that i feel stupid, but somewhat at ease. it's strange and i can't really explain it. so i won't |
| wednesday 19 march happy birthday cin! |