"i realized that i was being inappropriate. you're engaged! you don't have to kick it with me when i get back. sorry i wasn't being more respectful of that"
first of all, i'm engaged. i'm not locked up in a room that parkin's the only one with the key.
second of all, what do YOU do when you kick it? i personally meant getting together for a bite to eat and shoot the sh!t with a friend that i haven't seen in years.
being engaged doesn't mean that i am only with parkin all the time, he doesn't own me, we're in a committed relationship. we still have our seperate lives that will meld from time to time but not all the time. of couse i'd love for him to meet all of my friends and everyone i know, but there's a time and place for all of that. do i lose all of my guy friends just because i am engaged? does that mean that i can only make female friends in the future? that's an odd thought. if that's the case, i've turned into one of 'those' girls. the kind of girls that spend 24/7 with their boyfriends or husbands. the kinds that stop their lives for their men and can't go more than 10 minutes without talking to their beaus on the tele. i think that it's sad when a girl loses all of their girlfriends because they feel that their men are their only livlihoods.
but don't get me wrong, parkin IS my life, he means the world to me and i would never jepordize anything to do with our relationship and i would never intentionally hurt him. it's just that i cannot stop what goes on in my life because of him. i can't change my entire lifestyle to compliment his. we have different thoughts and opinions. he and i disagree on things, and that's what makes good conversation and heated passionate arguements. we can't agree on everything... that doesn't work for us. he and i both know our limitations and what lines to cross and what lines not to cross. of course i've adjusted my attitudes and personality a bit because i am in a relationship, but i can't change completely for him. he never asked me to before and i don't see why he would now.
and it's ok that we don't call or see each other everyday. it'd be great if we could, but it's ok if we don't. when i went to asia last year with my mother, i didn't talk to parkin for over 2 weeks, and when i finally got to hong kong and called him, the phonecall was so much sweeter because we hadn't talked for so long. i communicated with him the prior weeks the old fashioned way. letters. i wrote to him from thailand and singapore and i think that letters are just as sweet and in fact, a wonderful keepsake. i don't think that our conversations would have been as sweet if i called him everyday from thailand or singapore. of course i missed him but i enjoyed the travelling experience with my mom and i know that parkin wouldn't want me to miss out on anything because i was on the phone with him.
anyways, back to my friend's email. everyone's views on relationships differ from others, and this is mine. no two relationships are the same, but if you know me, you'd know that my relationship with good friends are just as important as my relationship with parkin. i have to have balance in order to be comfortable with myself.
what do you think? should your life change entirely once you are engaged?