friday the thirteenth
	the rainy weather makes me nervous about driving to work every morning.  i already hate driving to and from home and work because the bay bridge scares me, but with the natural elements against me as well?  *shivers*  my knuckles are white from clenching the steering wheel, my eyes are more focused than ever, and i try my darnest not to have to change lanes.  SCARY!  the rain in san francisco was real nice tho.  the droplets fell silently upon me, but here in oakland, the winds are angry and rain is fierce.  what a quick change in weather from yesterday! apparently my boss has been calling here at 8 every morning to check up on me, to see if i'm arriving to work on time.  ever since i've come back from hong kong, i haven't.  not sure if it's because i might still be a bit jetlagged or what, but i just haven't been able to get up.  i still get here way before 9am, but not 8.  anyways, my sources tell me that my boss rob is disappointed and unhappy.  i don't care.  i also heard that he fired his friend from his other company.  wow, that shocked me.  i wonder if he'd dare get rid of me again... and if he does, i don't mind, i don't care.  i actually sort of welcome it.  it would give me an opportunity to find something i have more of a passion for.  you don't know how much i've regretted coming back to this job after he let me go in june.  i won't quit, but if he fires me, i'm ok with it.  yes, i know that it's an easy job that gives me plenty of time to work on things like this webpage, but honestly i rather have a good job that i enjoy and squeeze in time to work on this page at home.  yes i know that finding a job will be very difficult as well... that worries me, but well, this company that is going downhill isn't worth it to me.  it is losing money already, a lot, and me not working anymore is inevitable.  if the time comes earlier than expected, i'm ready.  yes it makes me nervous about being jobless, especially with the wedding around the corner, but i think that if i look hard enough, and with the help of friends, *hint hint* i can find something however basic it may be, to tie me down for the meantime.  i wouldn't even mind working retail again!  at least i enjoyed that job.  i want to find a job that i can actually interact with other people.   i want a job that can evaluate television shows!  :)  that'd be the best. i have some things on my mind.  i'll try to come back to write more, but if i don't i wish you all a merry weekend!  stay warm and be safe out there! ~
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