"Why couldn't it have been me, Kate? Why did it have to be Luke? He was only sixteen! He hadn't even started to live his life yet! Just tell me why it had to be him." He looked into Kate's eyes, searching for the answer he knew she didn't have. Kate was silent. Mike ran his fingers through his short brown hair and stood up. "I'm going for a drive. Don't wait up." He left the small apartment.

Mike sat in the car with his hands on the wheel. "I'm sorry, Luke," he whispered. He laid his head on the steering wheel and closed his eyes. After a few moments, he raised his head and drove away. Memories of Luke flashed into Mike's mind as he drove around. He didn't know where he was going or why he was going there, he just went. Several times he had to blink back tears that threatened to blur his vision.

He found himself making several turns that led into a familiar part of town. The school he was teaching at. He drove past it to an old, run down building and parked his car.

Locking the doors and rolling up his window, he stepped out into the cool february air. He walked through an alley behind the old building. The building was a closed down Soho Pete's. Mike dropped to his knees outside what used to be a back entrance. A year ago, this was where he had first decided to bring Luke to live with him. He looked at the cardboard boxes that Luke would have used for tables.

Mike stood up and walked back to his car. He punched the window softly and leaned his head against the cool glass. He asked himself the question that had been plaguing him since he'd heard about the accident. why Luke?

Chrissy shoved the bowl away from her and rested her head on the table. Magie sighed and took the oatmel.

"Jason, she's hardly eaten since.." Maggie couldn't finish the sentace, and she almost cried.

"I know, Maggie. Believe me, i know. She just lost someone she loved. He was her big brother. Children often do that. She'll eat soon."

"Oh, Jason, i don't know," Maggie said. She glanced at the silent Chrissy.

"Trust me, Maggie," Jason said, taking her face in his hands.

"Alright, Jason. I trust you."

Kate entered the house through the kitchen door. "Have either of you seen Mike?" she asked, worry flashing in her green eyes.

"No, Kate, what's wrong?" Maggie asked.

"Well, it's probably nothing, really, but Mike didn't come home last night."

"What?" Jason exclaimed.

"He said he was going out for a drive, but then he never came home. I'm a little worried." Kate sat down at the kitchen table and rested her head on her arms.

"Kate, i think i know where he might be. Stay here," Jason grabbed his coat and walked out the back door. They heard a car engine turn over.

"Hey, Chrissy," Kate said. She eyed the oatmeal on the counter. "Ya' know, that oatmeal looks really good. Why don't you try it?"

"I'm not hungry," Chrissy whispered. Maggie sighed.

"It's no use, Kate. We've tried everything. She's done this before - gone without eating when she's upset - but Luke always cheered her up." Maggie's voice cracked and she turned away.

Kate stood up and walked silently over to Maggie. Chrissy stood up and left the room. "Will you go see where Chrissy's going, please, Kate?" Maggie asked, wiping her eyes with a napkin.

"Sure," Kate smiled softly and followed Chrissy.

Chrissy walked up the stairs and into Lukes' room. Nothing had changed since he had left to go with dad. The pink bed was there, the dressers, the mirror, and his clothes still hung in closet. Chrissy stood in the doorway, looking around at all of Luke's things. The football that Mike had bought him the day they decided he could stay sat patiently waiting on the desk. Waiting for Luke.

Chrissy jumped on the bed, buried her face in Luke's pillow, and cried. Kate stood in the doorway, silently. She looked around also. Finally, she came into the room and sat on the bed next to Chrissy. She rubbed Chrissy's back, but didn't say a word. Chrissy sat up and stared at Kate through little blue eyes. Tears streaked her face, and her curly brown hair still hadn't been brushed.

"Chrissy," Kate said after a while, "Luke would want you to be happy."

"How do you know that?" Chrissy asked. It was a fair question.

"Well, because he was always happy. And any time someone else was sad, he would make them happy again." Chrissy rested her head on Kate's leg, and Kate stroked her curly hair. "You have to eat, Chrissy," Kate finally brought up.

"Would Luke want me too?" Chrissy asked softly.

"Yes, he would," Kate said with a soft smile.

"OK, I'll eat for Luke." Chrissy stood up and went back downstairs.

Kate smiled and walked over to Luke's desk. "He'd want Mike to be happy, too," she whispered to herself, picking up the old football. She clutched it to her chest for a brief second, then set it back down.

She walked into the kitchen and saw Chrissy eating at the table. Maggie looked astounded and pulled Kate off to one side. "How'd you do it?" she asked, amazed.

"I told her that Luke would want her to eat," Kate said with a smile.

"Mike?" he asked softly, looking at his son.

"Oh, hey, Dad," Mike greeted him. Mike sat back on the desk and stared at his father. He smiled a fake smile.

"Kate was worried about you. She said you didn't come home last night, so i came looking for you."

"Well, you found me," Mike said, throwing his arms in the air. "I suppose you want me to come home now?" he accused rather than asked.

"It's your decision, Mike. You're not a little boy anymore. But i thinl Chrissy could use an older brother right now," Jason said, glancing down at his coat and fidgeting with one of the buttons.

"What about Ben?" Mike asked.

"Ben isn't much help right now, Mike. In fact, he's almost as bad as Chrissy."

Mike reluctantly stood up and grabbed his coat from the desk he had put it on. He looked at the desk, and realised that it was the same desk Luke had used. "Let's go," he said bluntly, and walked out of the room.

"Dad, i have got so many memories flashing through my mind right now. Luke is the only thing i can think about." He sat back, resting his head on the back of the seat, sighing again. "Why did it have to be Luke?" he mumbled.

"Well, Mike, those memories are a good thing. It means that you'll never forget Luke. And if you never forget him then he'll never really die."

"What?" Mike looked at his father with confusion in his eyes. "What does that mean?"

"Luke will always be alive in you, Mike. And in the rest of us, too." Jason looked at his son. He reached over and patted Mike's leg gently.

"I just don't get it, Dad. Why did Luke have to die? He was only sixteen! Why couldn't it have been me?"

"Mike, no matter what anyone says, not everything happens for a reason. I don't know if there was a reason for this or not, but it happened. As much as you don't want to accept it, you have to." Jason didn't like telling his son these things, but it was something that had to be done.

"I can't, Dad! Don't you see? If i accept that he's dead, then i accept that i'll never see him again. I'll never hug him again. Never smile at him again and see him smile back. I can't Dad. I just can't." Mike closed his eyes, body language for no more talking.

Mike, give yourself time, Jason thought. He pulled into the driveway and Mike jumped out. He ran up the stairs to his apartment where Kate sat waiting for him. She stood up the second the door opened. Kate opened her mouth to speak, but decided against it when Mike just walked to the bed and sat down.

She sat back down and smiled gently at him. "Mike," she whispered, "I know how you feel."

"Stop it!" Mike exploded. "No-one does! No-one understands how i feel!" Kate jumped back, startled at his reaction. "I'm sorry, Kate." He looked into her eyes.

"It's allright, Mike." She smiled reassuringly. The usual bright, happy fire had gone out of his eyes.

It's just that everybody says they know how i feel. All of my frineds. But they don't know. How could they? Luke was just a friend at first. Then he worked his way into my heart as a brother. All these bozos who say they know how i feel don't know anything at all." Helooked down at his hands clasped in his lap.

"Are you calling me a bozo?" Kate asked. Her lousy attempt at humour.

"No," was all Mike said.

Maggie smiled. "Yeah, she did."

"How'd you get her to eat it?" Jason asked, astounded at the possibility.

"It wasn't me," Maggie admitted, "It was Kate. She told her that Luke would want her to eat and Chrissy sat down at the table and ate it all up." Carol came into the kitchen. "Hi, honey," Maggie said, looking at her daughter. "How did you sleep?"

"How does it look like i slept?" Carol asked bitterly. She opened the refrigerator door and looked inside. She apparently decided she wasn't hungry and slammed it shut.

Chrissy looked up from the table. "Hey, Carol," she said in her sweet little voice.

"Yeah, Chrissy?"

"You can have my Orange Juice if you're not hungry," she offered.

Carol smiled and sat down next to Chrissy. "No, thanks, Chrissy. You can keep it." She patted Chrissy's head.

"Carol, why are you so sad? Luke would want you to be happy," Chrissy offered.

"That's what you think, Chrissy," said Ben as he walked into the kitchen. He still had his bathrobe on.

"Well, he would!" Chrissy insisted.

"You're not Luke, how would you know?" Ben asked bitterly. "Why couldn't you have been in that car instead of Luke?"

Chrissy's eyes filled with tears and she ran from the table. The family that remained in the kitchen glared at Ben in surprise.

"Ben!" Maggie exclamined. "How could you say such a thing? Chrissy is your sister!"

"Yeah, and Ben was my brother. You obviously don't care that he's dead, so stay off my back."

"Ben," Maggie began, but Ben had already left the room.

Ben walked up the stairs and heard Chrissy sobbing in her room. How could i have said something like that to Chrissy? he thought. He knocked softly on her door and waled in without waiting for an answer.

"Go away!" Chrissy shouted through tears. "You hate me, so just go away!" She puonded her pillow with her fist and buried her head in the blanket.

Ben put his hand on her shoulder, but she knocked it off with her own small hand. "Chrissy, honey, i'm sorry."

"No, you're not! And i'll never forgive you!" she screamed into her pillow.

Ben sighed, He picked up his crying sister and held her in his arms. She struggled for a moment, but quit when she realized it wouldn't do any good. "Chrissy, i'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I love you, you're my sister."

"Well, you loved Luke more." Chrissy wiped her eyes.

"No, i didn't Chrissy. I could never love anyone more than i love you and the rest of my family." He cradled Chrissy in his arms and kissed her on the forehead. "Do you forgive me, Chrissy?" he asked, looking her in the eye.

Chrissy jumped up and wrapped her arms around Ben's neck, hugging him tightly. "I love you, Ben," she whispered. Ben just smiled and hugged her back.