I’m
borrowing the title from Belinda Carlisle, I don’t
know who she is… Oh who am I kidding, I know perfectly
well who she is. J/T T/7
Summer Rain.
by
Barnaby
It’s summer
here right now, in San Francisco, and it‘s raining. B’Elanna
Torres reporting for the Weather Channel.
God I crack
myself up sometimes. I think I must have watched too many 20th century weather
forecasts.
I don’t know
why but I hate rainy days. I think it’s because it was raining the day she
died. It was raining the day of her funeral. Kahless I hated her for it you
know. For leaving me here with him.
We were lover’s, did you know that, her and I. I would sneak into
her quarters late at night. We’d sleep together and then I would sneak back
home to him.
When I fell
pregnant we were together. She hated the idea of me carrying his child. I told
her I didn’t have a choice. I still had to sleep with the man I called my
husband. But then she got over it. Things continued,
I’d sneak in and out. One night I blurted out that I loved her and wished that
the baby was hers.
She gave me
the whole speech then. The one they make you practice in command school, I’m
sure they teach it to the cadets, the one about her being the captain and me
being a subordinate and how ‘this’ shouldn’t even be happening between us. I
was due to have the baby any day when I opened my big mouth…
We didn’t
see much of each other in the next few days. When the Admiral turned up (the
one from the future) she didn’t have any time to see me. I know she was trying
to avoid me. Then we decided to go into that Borg transwarp thing and I went
into labour. Miral was born the very moment we
arrived in the Alpha Quadrant.
It was three
weeks after that when ‘it’ happened. We were together, just talking, in
her shuttle car. We were driving along the coast to nowhere when this other
shuttle car came sliding around the corner. I know shuttle cars hover above the
ground but when there’s a wet road there’s little to no friction so it makes it
a bit more dangerous. Did I forget to mention that we were arguing at that
particular moment so her concentration wasn’t so good.
I was lucky,
or so the doc’s at the medical centre say. She died right after I woke up. It’s
like she needed to know I was going to be okay before she could give up.
The doctors
told me that she suffered pretty bad injuries and that mine were just as bad
but me being half Klingon should be thankful that I inherited the secondary
organs.
Apparently
the guy that was piloting the other shuttle car had been drinking due to the
fact that he’d had an argument with his girlfriend and was pretty pissed off.
He was doing way more than the legal speed limit and was being treated for
minor injuries. Which pissed me off to no end. He, the
guilty party, gets minor injuries and Kathryn, the innocent party, died. It
never stopped raining that night.
A few days
later I received a communiqué from Starfleet informing me that Captain Kathryn Janeway, former CO of the USS Voyager would be laid to rest
peacefully at the cemetery. The woman I loved was dead and they expected me to
turn up!?
In the end
Tom dragged me to the cemetery. I noticed that Chakotay was not there, don’t ask me why I noticed that, I guess because he
was in love with her he wouldn’t have wanted to be there. I stood there,
silently praying to whatever God Kathryn believed in that she’d be happy. I
told them to tell her I love her and that I missed her already.
I stood next
to Seven the whole time and couldn’t believe that she
was actually crying. She almost fell over from her grief at one point and I put
an arm around her to steady her. She put an arm around my waist in return.
That’s the
funny thing about funerals you tend to realise that
grief really does bring people together. Seven and I talked all afternoon at
the wake that was held at the Janeway farm in
She told me
that she knew about me and Kathryn. Said that she could smell Kathryn’s perfume
on my uniform one day, I remembered that day well. It was my birthday and I’d
told Kathryn that I didn’t want to celebrate it but she called me to her ready
room and we celebrated on the couch and on her desk. I then went back to
Engineering and saw the Borg standing at the console in front of the doors. I
was pissed but I’d just come from having sex in the ready room and wasn’t in
the mood to argue. Seven and I worked together that afternoon and came up with
some pretty convincing ideas on how to get Voyager home.
Seven then
told me that she’d been happy for us and that she couldn’t understand why I was
still being nice to her.
“Grief does
funny things to you Seven. I guess it was a wish of
Kathryn’s that we’d get along and I’d like to honour
that wish.”
“I
understand that, what I do not understand is why even after knowing about my
relationship with Chakotay are you still being nice to me.”
“What does
you’re relationship have to do with anything?” I asked confused.
“You mean
you do not know?”
“Know what,
Seven?”
“That
Chakotay was the one piloting the shuttle car that smashed into Kathryn’s.”
I stood
there with my jaw resting on the floor. I couldn’t believe it. Chakotay had
been in the other shuttle car, that worthless p’taQ.
No wonder he wasn’t at her funeral. “Does he know who was in that shuttle car
he hit?”
“Yes” she
stated simply.
“That piece
of targ shit. He didn’t have the decency to even show
up today, to own up to it.”
“I told him
not to come. I told him that there would be some very angry people there,
especially you. I did not tell him about your relationship with Kathryn, but he
knew that you were in the shuttle car with her.”
“Thanks for
keeping him away then. If I had’ve known that he was
the one in that other car I’d have smashed his face so hard you wouldn’t know
it was Chakotay.” I ranted. “Wait I was told that the other driver had had an
argument with his girlfriend. What were you arguing about?”
“My feelings for you.”
“You have
feelings for me?”
“Yes.
Kathryn was aware of them and said nothing. Not even a word about the fact that
she was copulating with you.”
We talked
some more after that. Then Tom came and told me he was ready to go home.
I went home
with him but couldn’t tell you why now. After I’d gotten over the initial shock
of Kathryn’s death and the revelation that Seven had
feelings for me I sat down with him and told him that I didn’t love him anymore
and that I was taking Miral and moving out.
As I had
nowhere to go I hunted down Seven’s address and went to her. She told me I
could stay with her for as long as I needed. I was only a little hesitant about
how she’d react with me around her all the time, but she handled it well.
I’d been in
her apartment for five days when after dinner one night we were relaxing on the
sofa staring out the bay doors in her living room. We were just sitting there
comfortably resting against each other when she leant down and kissed me.
“I am sorry
B’Elanna Torres, I should not have done that”
“It’s okay
Seven. I liked it.”
“It is not
too soon?”
“She’d want
me to be happy and to move on. You know how she was.”
We kissed
again and again. The night eventually ended with us in her bedroom passionately
loving each other.
Today, it’s
raining, but my ray of sunshine is sitting on the sofa staring at me. Making
sure I wont do something silly.
“B’Elanna
what is troubling you?”
“I was
thinking about her and how you and I got together and about how much I hate
rainy days. I love you Seven, I never got the chance to tell her that night.”
“Then I am
glad you tell me at every opportunity you get. I love you as well B’Elanna
Torres.”
Kathryn may
be gone, I may hate rainy days, but I’m grateful to Kathryn for telling me that
it was her hope that Seven and I would one day find a
peace and keep it. I love you Kathryn Janeway, but
Seven of Nine now holds my heart.
The End
¬ Return to Voyager
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