BOB AND SCHOOL




When I was twelve I got to go to town to the big city. Now we lived over there just north of Tie Siding and shucks We had trucks and bicycles and all that stuff, But ma taught us at home and we just never got to go to town, Fer ma to New Yawk city had gone On her high school trip and When she came back home, She said, durn enough of that and across the hill she went.

Well pa went to school and did rodeo, And he sort of liked it out Californny way. But after he had won the big buckle at the rodeo, Four guys done stole his poke, and left him in a ditch. So after that pa come back home and did work real hard To try and learn a lot and to finish school.

Well ma and pa right after school, they did get hitched And then they had me, Bob and Ben and Joe and finally sister Sue So each summer pa would go off to rodeo, here and there And ride real hard, rope and bulldog too, And shucks it seems ma stayed home And raised we four, and she said, she didn't need Into town to go for she had been and At the ranch she knew where she was and What was going on? And shucks by the time I was four, I could read and write, And every day my ma would school me at home.

Well when I was twelve, I did know about a lot of things, I knew about cows and calves and sheep and goats And old Will Shakespeare too. And my pa would laugh at me, as I did herd them in, Fer I would tell them critters about Voltaire, Einstein and Brahms too. Fer we did not have a TV but did a radio, So we read and studied and worked and played And had the bestest life you can think of.

But then when I was twelve, the county did step in, And they told my pa that I had to go to school, And ma got mad and went to see the school board one day And when she left their ears were red and then she came back home. She said, Bob my son; you have to go to town, And show those school board folks that you ain't so dumb. And I gulped and said, do I really, and she said yes.

So at the age of twelve I got to go to town and See the School Board. Now they said that at the age of twelve, there were things I should know. Like the states, and multiplication tables, And some history. I should know a little about the state and The whole country too, so nine teachers in a row I had to face alone. Afore I went into the place my ma laughed and said, Bob, just be yourself, state your case and argue if You really have to. But be polite and for durn sakes Don't look like a fool.

I walks in and sits down, and looks each teacher tween the eyes, Then I looked at the one in the middle and I did say, Well howdy de do, My name is Bob and I was told you folks think me sort of dumb, So you start asking and let me see if I can answer like a twelve year old should be. A little old lady with her hair pulled back and false teeth, which didn't fit, Looked at me and said, son, have you heard of the constitution?

I grinned and stood and looked at her, and said, maam, where should I begin? The Articles of Confederation, the Bill of Rights or now equal rights? What Jefferson really thought and about Washington wanting to be the king? She screwed up her head and looked at me, Then in a screechy little voice, said, boy I don't think you know squat.

Well that lady got my dander up and I started reciting my history. About Roanoke Island, and the Mayflower, and laughed about John Alden's hair And I just started out, and durn no one is going to shut me up. And when I finally said, about some mistake that had been made. I looked at that lady and said, Maam, now you to me some questions ask. The board looked right and left And then each their watches too. And I grinned and set right down, And said, what subject is next, I hope it is history.

Then one little scrawny feller, said, Bob I am Mr. Weathers and Math and science is my game, can you please tell me about The elements you know about. I grinned and laughed and said yes sir, all hundred one and which way, By atomic weight or mass or name? And he sneered and said all you know alphabetically? Well I grinned and did light right in, and talked and talked fer quite a spell. And I knew it had a long time been when the windows were black with night.

Finally they all just shook their heads and the man in the middle stood up and said. Young man, yes you Bob, please go outside and have a drink, I think We have been taken in.

Well we went home, but afore we did, we went to one of them Hamburger places, and yucks, oh yucks indeed For the stuff was not fit for feed. Then we did go home, and my ma was all swelled up, fer she Said to me, Bob we got the last laugh indeed And you know what, Those durn fools looked as dumb as a monkey's butt.

Well the next day it was back to the grind, and I did swoon a bit For I had seen the town, and a lot of other kids. But shucks it was four more years afore my pa says to me Bob my son; it is time, time for you to go to school, Across the hill to the University in Laramie, And to learn so you can run the ranch.

I looked at him, cause I respect my pa, And did ask, do I have to? And he said, yes you do, And so I went to school.





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