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» CHAPTER NINETEEN: THE TREE HOUSE «

Come to me now
And lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be all right
And I shall believe

Nick wheeled the rusty cart down the aisle of the small supermarket, examining the bread. He reached out and grabbed two loaves and threw them in beside a bag of Hershey's Kisses and peanut butter. He walked past the chip aisle and took a canister of Pringles from the display case.

He wandered around for a minute before finding the aisle that sold jelly and jam. As he was deciding between grape and strawberry, a young woman in her early twenties walked by, giving him a flirtatious smile. He kept his eyes on the containers in his hand, then threw them both in the cart and turned it so fast the wheels squeaked. When he finally got to the checkout line, plastic forks, spoons, and
knifes had been added to his cart, along with bottled water, a pint of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food, and assorted deli meats.

After he paid, he grabbed the bags and brought them to his car, then drove back to the place he had been living for the past two days. He stepped out of the car and locked it, then carried the bags a quarter of a mile to the middle of the woods, where the old tree house sat nestled on the branches of an oak tree.

He swung himself onto the ladder with ease, balancing the bags on either side of him, then effortlessly tossed them over the platform and pulled himself up.

Grinning boyishly to himself, he unpacked the groceries and made himself a peanut butter and Hershey Kisses sandwich. He could just picture his mother's face if she saw him out here in the middle of the woods, eating things that would clog his arteries and bring him to a early death.

Sure, he'd have to face civilization sooner or later, but for now, all he looked forward to was a simple way of living and trying to cope with the loss of his girlfriend. He reached an arm out to grab a water bottle and grimaced. Well, maybe he'd have to go back to western civilization sooner than he realized; two and a half days without a shower left him smelling like something found at the bottom of his gym bag after a strenuous dance routine. Maybe Brian would lend the use of his bathroom for an hour.

Nick sniffed again. Better make that a few hours.

After the sounds of chewing died away, Nick listened to the quiet serene of the woods. He began to picture Channel's face in the tree house walls, twisted in horror and chagrin when she realized Nick knew her little secret. He saw the desperate tears on her cheeks and her aimless arm throwing everything in sight at his back. Her hopeless pleas of repentance resonated in his eardrums.

Pinching himself out of the memory, Nick leaned over and snapped on his portable radio, turning the dial to his favorite station. Maybe silence wasn't such a good idea, after all. Gave a person too much time to let his mind wander. Much better to keep it focused on something non-Chanel, non-Backstreet, non-Jennifer.

Oh, Jennifer… Nick let out a melancholy sigh. Instead of focusing on the past, he stretched out on the floor and rested his head on his arm. He let the hard-core drum beats from his favorite group, Nirvana, gently lull him in to an ambiguous sleep.

I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe

"Why did you leave me, Nicky?" Nick whirled around to his right, stared down at the 8-year-old version of Jennifer. For some reason, she was always a child in his dreams. She regarded him with a the sweet innocence of a child. "I missed you so much, Nicky, don't leave me again."

"I had to leave." said Nick desperately. "Chanel was pregnant, and I knew she wanted me to marry her, and I thought I loved her. You have to understand, I hated leaving."

She didn't seem understand, yet she did. The little girl gazed at him with wide eyes, an altruistic smile on her face. "Do you want to play?" she asked, and suddenly they were standing in the middle of a deserted playground. She ran over to four plastic barrels on the ground. "I like these. Let's play tag, you can be it." She touched his arm and dropped to her knees and disappeared inside the tube.

"Wait!" Nick fell to his knees and peered inside. He couldn't see the sun light at the end of the tunnel, even though the barrel was only four feet long. "I'm too big to fit in there, Jennifer. Wait for me!"

Her only reply was a child's wild giggle, and the scuffling of hands and knees against the plastic and stray stones beyond him.

Nick tried to get inside, tried to chase after the little girl who was rapidly leaving him, but he got as far as his shoulders before he was stuck.

"Leave her, she's gone." a muffled voice said behind him.

Nick struggled to get out, popped free with a sucking noise, and looked up. Chanel was dressed in a long black dress that resembled a wedding gown. "She's already gone." she repeated. Then she eyed him distastefully. "For Heaven's sake, Nickolas, get off the sand, you're ruining your tux."

Nick realized he was wearing not his favorite pair of jeans and Rock ’98 T-shirt, but an uncomfortable, starched tux that pulled around the chest as he moved. He got up, a little embarrassed as he smiled timidly at various friends and family that stood in the pews giving him confused looks. He turned around and stood with Chanel in front of the priest.

"Do you take Chanel Tia Valara to be your lawfully wedded wife?" the priest said in a monotone voice, not even making eye contact with the soon-to-be husband and wife. He had recited this speech so many times he dreamed about it when he went to sleep.

"I object!" cried a voice. Nick saw Laura, Jennifer's roommate, step out of line with the other fifteen bridesmaids, dressed in a flattering creamy yellow dress, and wag a finger at him. "Nick, you know better than to be gone for this long! What will your father think?"

"Shut up, you freak!" Chanel said harshly. "You might disturb the baby."

Jennifer ran up the aisle, streaming crimson rose petals from her little basket. She was dressed in a ruffled blue dress, her hair done in little curls. "You can't start without me. I haven't laid out the petals yet!"

"Too late, little flower girl." the priest butted in. "You aren't a big part of the ceremony anymore."

Jennifer burst into wailing tears as Chanel and Laura fought behind Nick, and the priest repeated his question over and over. The guests remained stoic in their seats, frozen faces all turned politely at the crazy scene in front of them.

He turned to the priest. "I don't." he told him promptly.

The priest rolled his eyes. "Then why are we even here. Wake up and don't forget to pay me by the end of the month, or God will strike you down, pop star."

Nick awoke with a start, damp with sweat and shivering. "Geez," he whispered. "I guess I shouldn't eat peanut butter and chocolate before bed anymore."

That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe

I stepped out of the filthy bathroom, holding a key dangling from a stainless steel hubcap, and walked back to the front of the gas station. I surpressed a cough as I walked into the smoky store. "Thanks," I said, handing the key back.

The owner grunted in reply, his eyes not leaving the television playing a football game.

Outside, I drove my car over to a pump and filled it to the brim, then stuck my credit card in to a slot and paid. I got back inside the dark blue Honda and didn't even bother to move the car away from the pump. I hadn't seen anyone on the road for miles. A Big Gulp rested in the cup holder coming out of the dashboard, its contents watery and warm after sitting in the sun for too long, so I rolled down the window and threw it in the garbage.

In the seat beside me, my purse, a water bottle, a Hershey's bar of chocolate, and several maps were spread out on the gray interior. I sifted through the maps before taking out one of Georgia, then began to trace my route with a pencil. I rested for a second, rubbing my weary eyes. I had been on the road for a little less than three days now.

'Curse the plane Gods.' I thought for the hundredth time. My flight was going perfectly fine until we had to make an emergency stop in Chesterfield, South Carolina. There, I found no connecting flights to Orlando, Florida departing at least a week from then. Frustrated and annoyed, I rented a car, bought myself a couple of maps, and began to navigate my way through the entire state of South Carolina and three fourths of Georgia. I had almost another whole half a state length to go before I reached Orlando.

After consulting with my map, I decided if I drove the entire day and didn't stop until midnight, I could reach a town called Baker, just inside Florida's state line. From there it'd take me a little less then half a day to reach Orlando, then it would be a breeze.

I started the car, pulled out of the stop, turned on the radio, and headed out into the open road.

Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key
Never again would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is all right
And I do believe

I felt like kissing the ground when I finally rolled up to my parent's house a day later. It was the longest time I had ever driven constantly, and my nerves were shaken and tired. My eyes hurt from the strain of looking for street signs, and my arms were shaking from being in one position too long.

I stepped out of the car and winced as my legs almost gave out on me and made me kiss the pavement. I took a minute and rubbed the feeling back into them before grabbing my suitcases from the back seat and stumbling up the walk.

The front of the house didn't look too much different since the last time I had been there, two Christmases ago; just a few more flowers on the walk way, a brighter shudder that must have been painted recently, and a new stained glass pattern on the window above the door.

The door opened before I stepped onto the porch, and my mother came running out. "Jenn," she exclaimed. "Oh, you're finally here. How was the trip?"

"Horrible." I replied truthfully, smiling and giving her a hug and kiss. "How's going here?"

"We're fine," she answered. "What's Alex up to lately?" We exchanged chit-chat as we walked inside the house and into the kitchen, where my father was sitting with a paper.

He looked up when we entered and gave me a smile. "You look great, sweetie. How was the drive here?"

I gave them a quick summary of the trip, then grabbed a glass and gulped some water from the refrigerator.

"Have you contacted Nick at all?" asked Mom.

I shook my head no. "I thought I'd just show up. There's no real easy way to say ‘hey bud, I've got some bad news for ya, can I come over?’ It'll just have to be in person. I just need to drop my suitcases in my room, and change into some better clothes."

"Already?" Mom looked disappointed. "You just got here."

I hugged her shoulders. "There will be plenty of time later to reminisce and have fun. I promise." ‘Especially if Nick finds out and doesn't want to see Chanel or me.’ I added silently. I took my stuff upstairs, taking my time to smile fondly at the photographs of my family and relatives lining the halls and staircase. The doors to Alex and my rooms were open, and I could see little had changed since we moved out. There were a few knick-knacks that were gone that were sent to us in England or we had picked up on visits, but the décor was still un-changed.

I walked into my old room, soothed by the creamy yellow and blue colors. I heaved my suitcase onto the bed and grabbed my phone. As I dialed the numbers to our apartment in England, I hoped Mom and Dad wouldn't be too upset that I was using their phone for long distance calls. I spoke briefly to Alex, who wished me a whole-hearted good luck, then un-zipped my suitcase and changed into a calf length black skirt and a pastel blue T-shirt. On my feet I put on black sandals, then took down my hair and stuck it in a headband. I put on a gold necklace Nick had given me on my fourteenth birthday, then took a last look, said good-bye to my parents, and drove away in the rented blue Honda.

It took me an hour to find their house, since I got lost in the country back roads twice. ‘I’ll bet Nick hates living here,’ I mused, cutting the engine.

My shoes crunched against the gravel driveway, and crunched when I stepped onto the porch. ‘That's strange,’ I thought, looking down. ‘Why are there broken pieces of pottery on the porch?’ Dismissing it, I stepped over the worst of it and rang the doorbell. When five minutes had gone by I was starting to wonder if no one was home, but the door squeaked open slowly. Through the glass of the screen door, I caught a look at Channel's profile and was shocked.

She was wearing a long sun dress that looked ripped on the hem, and there were blood stains on the stomach. Her arms were streaked with cuts, and in her left hand she clutched a straw hat that looked like it was in the process of being mangled. Her usually perfect hair was disheveled and greasy, like she hadn't taken a shower in days, and her usually flaw-less makeup was smudged, making black streaks down her cheeks. Her eyes were glassy and watery, and they stared through me for a second before actually focusing on me.

Chanel blinked rapidly, then slapped the palm of her hand against the door frame. "What the hell are you doing here?" she demanded harshly. Then she threw her hands up, turned, and walked away, leaving the door wide open.

I raised my eyebrow. The screen door was unlocked, so I walked in, determined to tell Nick the truth about Channel's deceptions. The place probably once was impeccable, but broken pieces of glass, pottery, and crystal were strewn on the floor. Half smashed vases and statues lay on their sides in corners, and a vase holding a bouquet of flowers was tipped on its side, water dripping down the table. Chanel ignored the mess and myself and walked into the living room, threw herself on the couch, and curled up around a pillow.

"What happened in here?" I asked, walking in front of her.

She glared up at me. "Why the hell should I tell you anything? Get out of my house."

"I'm not leaving without talking to Nick." I replied stubbornly. "Is he here?"

She began to laugh hysterically, her voice getting higher and higher until she lost it altogether and began to sob.

I remained silent until she calmed. "Where is he?" I repeated.

"I have no fucking idea," Chanel cried. "He's not here, he hasn't been here, and it's all your stupid fault! Little bitch," she whispered as an after-thought, pouting her lips and plucking at the pillow.

I sighed, disgusted at the way she was acting. "I am not here to get into a pissing contest with you, Chanel. I just wanted to inform Nick about your false pregnancy, and advise him to drop your ass in the street."

Her head jerked up, conveying surprise and maliciousness. "How'd you know?"

"You're not a very good liar," I said.

Chanel snorted. "Sure, Jennifer, believe that if you must. So you must also think that once you tell Nick all this, he's going to hate me and fall into your arms, hopelessly devoted to you. Sorry, honey, gonna happen."

"Just tell me where he is." I growled.

She stood up. "I told you, I don't know! You're too late, he's already known about everything for a week! He's left me," She sank back down, a forlorn, lost look on her face. Tears splashed on her cheeks. "He hates me. I love him. But he won't come back. I don't know why he's so mad at me, I love him so much. Everything's gone so wrong because of you. I hate Jennifer."

"If you weren't so avaricious—" I stopped when I realized she wasn't even aware I was standing there anymore. Her eyes were turned towards the window and she kept chanting "I hate Jennifer" softly to herself.

'She's losing her mind.' I thought, mortified. 'She couldn't handle Nick leaving her. I bet she hasn't moved from this couch since he left her.' I looked at her one last time, with pity.

"Good-bye, Chanel."

She didn't answer as I left the room. I could hear her broken whimpers as I stepped out of the house, and hopefully out of Channel's life, for good.

Sometimes the snow comes down in June
Sometimes the sun goes ‘round the moon
I see the passion in your eyes
Sometimes it's all a big surprise

I drove around aimlessly, wondering where Nick could have gone to. I stopped at a gas station and used the pay phone to call Howie, Brian, Kevin, AJ, his parents, and any friend I could think of and remember the number to. Brian was the only one who had any useful information.

"He came by yesterday to use my shower." he told me with a bit of a laugh in his voice. "I couldn't even go near him before he did, he stank so bad. He wouldn't tell me where he was staying, but I think it's gotta be someplace with no electricity or running water. He looked like he'd camped out."

In the end I drove home and sat at my window for a few hours. It was nearing dusk when I grabbed my sweater and headed out the back door to the woods, intent on visiting the tree house. It had been forever since I had gone; the last time I was in Florida I was so out of sorts with everything I couldn't bare going to a place that held so many memories of Nick and I. Now though, I could look back and smile, I guess because I've had some closure since then.

The woods were peaceful and calming as I walked on my worn path I had started years ago. I passed the twin oak trees and rested my hands on them for a second, saying hello. Pretty soon the tree house came into view, looking as silent and alone as I had ever saw it. Tears of bittersweet memories welled up in my eyes. I remember when I used to walk here in the afternoon or late at night, and Nick would usually be there first, lighting a lamp or walking about singing at the top of his lungs. Now it was quiet.

My feet made hardly a noise as I stepped up to the ladder. 'Ugh, this is going to be awkward.' I thought, giving my feet a look as I mentally smacked myself for not putting on sneakers. A finger of wind blew past me, going through the holes of my sweater. 'I hope it's warmer in the tree house than it is out here.' I grasped onto the rungs and began climbing up. A rustling came from above me. I was wondering if a squirrel had made a nest inside when a blonde head popped out of the side.

"Ahh!" I screamed, letting go of the ladder and toppling off.

"Jennifer!" cried Nick, his eyes widening in horror as I landed on my back on the cold, leaf leaden forest floor.

"Ow?" I moaned in confusion and pain.

Nick's head whipped back inside, and I saw him stick his legs off the side and shimmy down the ladder. In a moment he was by my side, helping me sit up. "Oh my God, sweetie, are you all right?" he mumbled, extending my arms to see if I had broken them.

"I think…I have a concussion." I groaned, rubbing the goose egg forming on my occipital lobe. "But I'll be ok."

Nick smiled slightly. "What are you doing in Florida, Jenn? You should be in England."

"I was," I said, standing up with his help. "Until four days ago. Uh, can we go inside to talk? It's freezing out here."

"Sure, sure." We clambered up the ladder and settled in the tree house. Nick lit a camping lantern and handed me a sleeping bag from the corner.

I accepted gratefully, settling against the tree trunk. I glanced around, taking in the groceries and assorted items littering the floor. "You've been sleeping here?" I said slowly, figuring it out.

Nick nodded, looking around with a fond look in his eye. "Yeah. Ever since…" he trailed off.

I gave him a sympathetic smile. "I know about your breakup. I went to your house this afternoon to talk to you, and I found Chanel. She told me."

At her name, Nick's face darkened and he glared stonily at the wall. "I can't believe she did something like that. It was unforgivable."

"That's actually the reason I'm here." I started. "Back in London, the girls and I found out Chanel had been lying about seeing the doctor, and sorta figured it out. I couldn't let her deceive you like that, but I couldn't tell you over the phone."

Nick gave me a shocked look. "You came all the way here," he said. "to tell me that?" He reached over and gently tugged a strand of my hair. "You're such an amazing, loyal girl, Jenn." His fingers accidentally brushed against my cheek, and I caught his gaze.

In the whirlwind of activity before, I had completely forgotten I was in love with this gorgeous, blue eyed man.

And now we're standing face to face
Isn't this world a crazy place
Just when I thought our chance had passed
You go and save the best for last

I also remembered his touching letter he had given me after he left, basically saying he loved me. But how could I take advantage of that now? He's on the rebound, nursing a broken heart courtesy of Chanel. I looked away first.

Nick's hand jerked back, and he sighed softly. "Remember how we used to spend the nights out here, just talking of whatever we thought up?" he asked me.

I smiled. "Yeah. And when we got older, we used to come out here every time one of us had a rough breakup and have a girlie sleep over, complete with nail painting and sharing sob stories over ice cream." I gave him a glance. "You wouldn't happen to have any, would you?"

Nick shrugged apologetically. "I don't have a freezer in this little wooden box."

All of the nights you came to me
When some silly girl had set you free
You wondered how you'd make it through
I wondered what was wrong with you
Cause how could you give your love to someone else
And share your dreams with me
Sometimes the very thing you're looking for
Is the one thing you can't see

"Oh," Nick scrambled over to his groceries, and brought back a bag of Hershey's Kisses. "I do have chocolate. I think that's a good substitute."

I laughed, and we leaned closer to share the bag, sharing a few blessed moments of friendship.

"Did you get my letter?" he asked suddenly. "The one in the back of the picture frame. I wasn't sure if you'd find it at all."

I gave him a steady look. "Yeah, I did." My eyes began to burn, and I couldn't look at him any longer.

"I meant it." he whispered, his voice was thick with emotion. "You were all I could think about for years. What I didn't realize then is that it was more than just missing my best friend. I was missing my soul mate. Everyone used to ask my why I never married Chanel. It's because she wasn't right for me. I feel as if we're on the same level about everything. I think I can ever read your mind sometimes."

I snorted ironically, then really started to cry. He grabbed my chin and tipped my face up to meet his eyes. "Then tell me what I'm thinking." I said softly.

Nick looked a bit forlorn. "I don't know. I've always been a bit hazy in the relationship area."

My lips curved into an involuntary smile. "That's probably why you've had such bad taste." Then the words popped out without even thinking about them. "When we went out when we were teenagers, why did you break up with me?"

Nick looked startled. "What?" he mumbled. Then, to my surprise, he started to blush. "I, uh, I was scared."

"Of me?" I giggled.

"No. Of us. It felt almost too good to be true. It frightened me."

"You mean—" my voice caught. "you didn't break up with me because you didn't think we'd work?"

"Nope. I thought we'd work out too well." Nick grinned. "I was really, really stupid in my youth."

There was a time when all I did was wish
You'd tell me this was love
It's not the way I hoped or how I planned
But somehow, it's enough

I bit my lip. My heart was pumping a mile a minute, my tear ducts working over-time, and my thoughts were zipping around my brain faster than I could think them. But one thing was clear to me.

"I love you." I said quietly, tasting my salty tears. "I've been in love with you since I was fifteen years old." There was an incredible weight that lifted off my heart. I had been wanting to say that for what seemed like forever, and now that I finally did, I feared I would float off the ground I felt so light.

Nick's eyes were like twin oceans, deep, immeasurable, so blue. They seemed to glow in the dim light, until I realized they were shining so bright from the tears in his eyes. His voice was soothing and velvety when he spoke. "I love you too, Jennifer. I always will."

But now we're standing face to face
Isn't this world a crazy place
Just when I thought our chance had passed
You go and save the best for last

It felt like a hundred bells were ringing, thousands of choirs singing the perfect harmony in my heart. "You don't know how long I've been waiting to hear that." I breathed.

I felt an indescribable pull, tugging me towards him as we leaned in for our first, real kiss. His lips were soft and warm when they first touched mine slowly, carefully, almost hesitant. I was probably shaking though I couldn't feel it. Everything faded away until the only things that were real were the places our arms, hands, shoulders inadvertently touched, and the presence of his mouth on mine.

I responded to his touch by kissing him fully and whole-heartedly, enjoying the display of sparks pricking up and down my skin. He tasted like faintly like chocolate, which only added to the picture. I never wanted it to end, yet I was the one who pulled away first, unaccustomed to the feeling. Nick looked positively dazzled; his mouth was still slightly puckered, and his eyes were unfocused.

"Wow…" I said under my breath, more to myself than him. I had spent long hours daydreaming what this feeling would be like, but I had never conjured up something quite this powerful.

Nick drew me up against him and buried his face in my neck, hugging me delicately. "I love you, I love you, I love you," he murmured over and over, both of us reveling in the sound of the words.

I leaned back a bit and traced his jaw and cheekbones with my pointer finger. "So what happens now?" I asked, content to just stay in that position for the rest of my earth-bound life.

Nick's lips curved into a deliciously charming smile. He lowered his head over mine, his breath tickling my ear. "For us, Jenn, anything."

Sometimes the snow comes down in June
Sometimes the sun goes ‘round the moon
Just when I thought our chance had passed
You go and saved the best for last
You went and saved the best for last

chapter 20
REMEMBER to send feedback to the author, Stephanie