By Vickey Brickle-Macky
3rd-4th Season Beyond Vincent and
Diana
Begun 2000 finished 2005
The Usual Disclaimers Apply, Rating
R
It was Diana's fortieth birthday,
and she sat alone on the ledge overlooking the falls, not having any place else
she really wanted to go or be. She
never tired of coming here, enjoying it's peaceful sounds, and the sheer wonder
of it. She had been coming here now for almost twelve years whenever she had a
chance, which anymore wasn't as often as she would like. It was a refuge, a
place to heal, and a place of very pleasant memories to replace the bad ones
that haunted her waking, and working mind when she was Above in the so called
real world. This place was always "realer" to her than Above, but it
was also not her place, not her world as much as she had hoped it would be once
upon a time
For all her hopes, and dreams had never
materialized. She was alone same as always, and he too was still alone. She and
Vincent were just friends, just always friends, close, but not too close. There
had been times when it seemed the lines might be crossed, and there would be
more to their relationship than that, but somehow it never happened either
because of his feeling that he would be betraying Catherine's memory, or her
own fears of letting him in, and letting him be contaminated by the ugliness
she surrounded herself with by the very nature of her work.
But neither could handle seeing other
people either. Her few attempts at dating had been disasters both on the date,
and then afterward. No one could quite live up to what she wanted, and
needed--they weren't Vincent, and they were all too human. Then there was his
moody sulkiness for weeks afterward. She never had to tell him, he always knew
what was happening with her. Still he would take no action, nor discuss what he
was feeling with her either. On that she had tried numerous times to do so, and
finally she just gave up rather than hear herself talk, and feel the
absolute,
mind numbing sadness coming from him. So over the years a truce of sorts had
been worked out as well as resignation that nothing was going to change so if
she wanted the benefit of his company she had to accept his limits, and his
terms. For him she would compromise, if it had been anyone else-- good luck.
Every once in a while she'd wonder if she was
insane to accept this as her lot in life. In love with a man who was in love
with a memory, and not willing to commit, or see that he could have a real and
normal life if he would only let himself. And there was Jacob. He made this
whole situation bearable. He was a close as she was ever going to get to having
a child of her own. She hadn't even known she had wanted to even be near a
child until she got to help take care of him after he was brought home. Loving
him, and letting him love her was a safe, and easy thing to do. What
she
couldn't do with the father she could lavish on the son with Vincent's
approval, and encouragement. He never begrudged her attention to Jacob, and
seemed to welcome it. She was 'Di' and sometimes even 'Mommy' when no one was around.
As that was what he thought of her despite the fact of how many other people
also took care of him, and were around more than she was.
She had scrapbooks full of Jacob's art,
and writing as well as photographs. Vincent never minded her taking photos of
Jacob, and even let her take him Above for a formal portrait with her. The
photographs sat in ornate frames on both his, and Father's desks. Even Mary had
one in her chamber. Diana also had ones of Vincent too that she had taken when
he didn't know she was there with a ready camera. He had been swimming down by
the waterfall; he had just come out of the water not wearing swimming trunks.
He had taken her breath away when she saw the magnificent man that he hid under
all those layers of clothing--he was a god in every way, and she wanted him
right then, and there. Quickly she had pulled out her little camera she carried
to take candid shots of the tunnel residents, and Jacob, and took a couple of
quick shots of him before he had a chance to notice she was there. Those she
kept very carefully put away. She also had a box of Vincent's letters and notes
to her. Those too were kept very carefully put away.
He, and Jacob still came Above to see her.
She had moved closer to one of the more easy access to the hub tunnels
entrances. She had also gotten a larger loft that was more private, with a
better view, lots more windows, and sunlight. It had once belonged to an artist
who had died. There was plenty of room for a growing active baby then child to
wander free in, and a safe place for his father to come enjoy the daylight
without fear.
Where the tunnels were her vacation from
the world, her loft was his. Somewhere in between this they reached unspoken
compromises, especially for Jacob, and created a family bond. Her loft was also
open to her friends Below too like Jamie, Mouse, and others. Over the years she
had also gotten to know the other nearby Helpers, so she was not quite as alone
as before she met Vincent. She also took Jacob, and some of the other tunnel
residents to baseball games, movies, plays, concerts, the zoo, museums, and
shopping. Sometimes with Joe, and Jenny Maxwell, and their kids.
But none of this made up for being alone,
especially at night, laying there restless, unable to unwind, counting the
cracks in the ceiling, listening to the far off wails of sirens, and passing
traffic. Every sound, every creak, groan magnified, intensified-- she could
even hear the clatter of the pipes, and rumble of subway cars way far below
her--she really hated it when HE couldn't sleep, and she got his sensory
overflow on top of her own. Drinking
didn't help--she had tried that one year early on just once. It just made it
worse on both sides, and damn near cost her her job too. Ditto for sleeping
pills, tranquilizers, new age treatments, trance dances, meditations--nothing
worked to drown their involuntary connection, especially at night.
Even going off to the wilds of Alaska
hadn't helped. If anything it was worse because he held on even tighter to the
connection, afraid of her not returning. Even though he lived the experience of
tramping around the mountains, and glaciers through her, it wasn't the same as
them actually doing it together. She had, and hadn't minded as she had gone off
to think, and figure out what to do. It was sort of hard to make decisions when
he was always there in her mental background... a fly on the wall she was
always aware of. He always apologized for intruding, but it wouldn't have so
bad on her end if there was more to their relationship, and she wasn't so damn
lonely. He had his family Below, and
Jacob around, near him always, and she had only herself most of the time in
that loft by her lonesome--that was the difference.
She wondered how Mary had stood Father
doing her a similar way for years? Though now they were solidly together
enjoying their waning years as a loving couple. Diana didn't think she had that
much patience left to wait Vincent out. She had even tried to enlist their help
over the years, but he ignored their counsel, and advice, or any attempts to
get the two of them really together. So she was at a total loss as was everyone
who wanted to see the two of them together, and really happy. There were so
many memories now, both good, and bad. For all the frustrations of the past
years she still would not give up any of it, and not have him in her life. She
also couldn't imagine a life without him, nor could he handle not having her in
his life. It was always a stalemate and she was at a loss of what if anything could
be done. So she was settling again. What else could she do?
Today though, she was taking the day off
from her work, and doing things for herself, not expecting any big
celebrations, or anyone to even notice what day it was as most of the time she
let her birthdays slip quietly by on purpose the older she got. Except this
time she was not going to get off the hook, not down here. Someone, or
somebodies' had remembered. Diana sighed, and reached into her tote. Jamie had
already given her present of a tape for her birthday. She had brought her
portable player/recorder with her that she used on cases. This was as good of a
place as any other to listen to the music. She looked at the cover as she
slipped the tape in, and pushed play. It was called 'No Angel' by Dido. She
wasn't sure where, or how Jamie had heard about the music, but Diana was
instantly transformed by the music, and lyrics. It spoke to her soul about how
she felt, her aloneness, and all the things she wish she could say to Vincent
face to face, but always chickened out at the last minute to say. The music
spread out across the cavern, the sound of the waterfall blending in with it
all somehow.
It was half way through the seventh song,
'Honestly Okay,' when she felt a presence behind her. She didn't need to turn,
as she knew who it was. And he was doing some involuntary winching within the
connection--good, she thought as she listened to the lyrics:
I just want to feel safe in my own skin,
I just want to feel happy again,
I just want to feel deep in my own world,
But I am so lonely I don't even want to be
with myself anymore.
On a different day, if I was safe in my
own skin, then I wouldn't feel lost and so frightened.
But this is today and I am lost in my own
skin,
and I am so lonely I don't even want to be
with myself anymore,
I just want to feel safe in my own skin; I
just want to be happy again.
The words, and the melody were getting to
him. He understood the words all too well. But he didn't intrude, and stayed
his distance close to the entrance of the chamber, listening to the rest of the
songs. It was the last song that really got to him as it did her.
Touch my skin and tell me what you are
thinking, take my hand and show me where we are going,
Lie down next to me, look into my eyes and
tell me, oh tell me what you are seeing
So sit on top of the world and tell me how
you are feeling, what you feel now is what I feel for you,
Take my hand and if I'm lying to you, I'll
always be alone, if I'm lying to you
See my eyes, they carry your reflection,
watch my lips and hear words I'm telling you
Give your trust to me and look into my
heart and show me, show me what you're doing
So sit on top of the world and tell me how
you are feeling, what you feel now is what I feel for you,
Take my hand and if I'm lying to you, I'll
always be alone, if I'm lying to you
Take your time, if I am lying to you, I
know you'll find that you believe me, you believe me
Feel the sun on your face and tell me what
you are thinking
Catch the snow on your tongue and show me
how it tastes
Take my hand and if I'm lying to you, I'll
always be alone, if I'm lying to you
Take your time and if I'm lying to you, I
know you'll find that you believe me, you believe me
The notes finally died to a whisper, and
the tape clicked off. The silence was jarring after the aliveness of the music.
The chamber felt empty like it never had before to her. There were tears in her
eyes from how she felt from the last piece, so much hope, so much promise, so
much desire that she wished would, could happen to her that he would take her
hand, and fulfill the words of the song as she saw in her mind as she heard the
lyrics.
She could see them together like that
dream she had had so many, many years ago when he was recovering from the
explosion of the Compass Rose. Except this time he was looking at her as she
held his face in her hands in the bright dazzling rainbow fog that they swirled
around together in. He was touching her face in turn, and his look was one of
love, passion, desire, and much, much more as he did tell her loved her, had
always loved her, and wanted her with him always beside him in all ways. He was
holding her close, and there were no barrier of clothes, or anything else
between them, their empathy flowed like bright ribbons of light, sound, and
feelings like the music had weaving, and soaring through both of them. It was
beyond beautiful, beyond anything that sex had ever done for her-- like being
totally blended into one glorious harmony of all sensations, waves of feelings,
all rising, and falling, and climbing higher, and higher to a glorious merging
of all in perfect love, in perfect trust, unafraid, and wanting it all, and for
it to never end, and just go on, and on to its perfect peak, and then a gentle
glide downward until it, and the music finally faded into the natural music of
the waterfall within the sunlit cave.
It was love; it was the love she had
always wanted to know that she had always been so envious of Catherine to
have-- to have been loved like that. She finally knew what it was to be loved
like that. But it hadn't been real. It had only been her imagination, and the
music--hadn't it? Now she wasn't sure, or not what had happened because it had
felt so real. Every nerve in her body was still tingling, alive, aware, hyper
sensitive to everything around her. She had felt so alive, and now--it was like
the plug had been pulled somehow as reality, and her aching inner loneliness
came back. At least she would have a beautiful
memory of something that had never happened, would never happen.
She picked up the tape recorder, sliding
it back in her bag, and looked at her watch. It was almost eight o'clock. She
really didn't feel like people, or being around anyone. Sadly, that also
included Jacob, and his father, especially his father. She really couldn't deal
with Mr. Moody right now in her present state of mind. She noticed that he had
slunk off, it figured. It had gotten to him too, but he was too much of an
emotional coward to deal with his feelings, and her. Probing a little she could track him. He was around, but not that
close anymore, heading away probably to his chamber. Yelp, the party mood had left her. Well, she could either go back
Uptop to her loft, and watch some movies, or catch up on her paperwork she was
behind in.
Diana pushed herself still skinny frame up
from the rocky ground with a few involuntary creaks, and groans, dusting off
her faded jeans. It was getting harder to get up, and down. One too many broken
bones, and lots of body damage from cases over the years. At least she had
finally gotten him to quit playing watchdog for her on her cases, and to stay
home out of her way. Though now she
didn't have that many cases where she was put at risk because Joe wouldn't let
her go after the bad guys personally like she had. She now had her own field
personnel to do that for her while she did what she always did best-- put all
the pieces together, reconstructing the motives of the perps, and why they did
what they did to the victims. The FBI, and other agencies still wanted her, but
she wouldn't leave New York no matter how spectacular the salary, and benefits
were being offered as she had developed a fierce loyalty to Joe over the years
of working together. He knew her now, and knew when, and how to leave her alone
to do her work, and get results, which she got every time. She was damn good at
what she did, but left the spotlight to him. It had never been about fame, or
money for her, just seeing justice served, and saving lives when she could.
Taking one last look around the magical
cavern, she headed for the passageway to the Hub, which then lead to the
surface routes, and the one back to her loft. She never got lost down here
anymore. Except for some of the far, far remote places she had been almost
everywhere underground at least once over the years. Sometimes with Jamie,
sometimes with Mouse, but mostly with Vincent, though there had been a few
times when she had gone camping alone, just so she could be alone, and her
inner demons, and nightmares. She also knew, and was known by everyone Below,
and her comings, and goings at odd times were commonplace now. If she got too
tired to hike back to her loft there was always a guest chamber for her. She was,
and wasn't a part of their lives.
But somehow that just wasn't enough
anymore. She needed wanted more to her life than what she had. And that feeling
had been growing, nagging at her over the last couple of years as her inner
biological clock started slowing down too. Soon it would be too late to have
kids, if it wasn't already too late. It seemed everyone was having kids, up
Above, down Below. The population explosion in the tunnels was even getting
noticeable to her. Jamie was now a mother with two kids, Mouse had settled down
and had offspring, so had Brooke, even little Eric was a father. Then there was
Pascal and William--they were fathers now. She tried not to let it get to her,
but deep inside it did, especially when she visited her relatives, and they
started asking her when she was going to get married, and have kids like her
sister, and cousins. She generally fled as soon as she could. Diana felt very
alone as she could not let them in on her secret life, or give them hope, when
she had none herself.
Diana did sleuth mode back to her loft,
avoiding people Below. Her mood grew bitterer as she traveled upward. No, she
was definitely not fit company for man or beast, and that included Vincent. On the
way home she picked up a bottle of apricot brandy, and a couple of new videos
that promised lots of mayhem, and high body counts, rather than a love story,
or a comedy. She got takeout Chinese from the restaurant next door then went
home to her empty loft. Her jacket, and
tote she tossed on the couch, then deposited the food, and tapes on her kitchen
counter, and went into her bedroom, stripped, and took a burning hot shower
hoping that would help, it didn't. Her
hair she wrapped in a towel, then just threw on her robe, not wanting to pick
through clothes to find a pair of sweats to wear. Besides, whom was she going
to be entertaining anyway--no one? She didn't even have a cat, as animals
tended to skitz around Vincent, and Jacob.
Opening the bathroom door she heard music.
She froze, as she had not put any music on when she came in. She had company,
probably Vincent. Yes, she could feel him now, a solid, indeterminate presence.
He was alone, no Jacob, just him. He
had put the tape that Jamie had given her on. It was on the second song, so he
hadn't been here too long. She had told him numerous times over the years to
make himself at home, and he had. She just had expected him to pick this night
of all nights to do so. She wasn't sure whether to be mad, or glad he was
there. So much for her night of morbid self indulgence. Okay, change of plans,
find clothes, see what he wants, and then after he leaves get very, very drunk,
and pass out --were her thoughts as she cautiously peeked out the door, and saw
him in her living room sitting on the floor cross legged in front of the stereo
with his back towards her. No fancy threads, just his casual run around home
clothes. The cloak was gone, tossed over on the couch on top of her
jacket--mental note--he wasn't leaving immediately. He was going to stay at
least for a little while. 'Okay good, okay fine', she told herself as she made
a mad dash for her bedroom, and hurriedly dressed finding a semi-clean pair of
non matching sweats buried in the clothes pile over in the corner by her bed.
Steeling herself she reentered the living
room, heading through it for the kitchen, and her takeout food. He didn't say
anything to her, nor did she to him as he continued to listen to the music.
Which wasn't anything unusual Years of doing that when she had been working on
cases had developed the silence as almost habit. She did feel his amusement at
her over her modesty, so he had noticed the robe after all. When she got to the
counter she noticed there was an extra bag that hadn't been there when she came
home. She felt him tense as she reached inside the paper grocery bag, and
pulled a nicely wrapped large box out with a card on top. The card was from
Jacob, not Vincent she noted. She wasn't surprised, but in a way she was disappointed,
as she had hoped for something from him.
Diana opened the card smiling as Jacob had
made it himself. He really showed great artistic talent, which she knew he had
gotten from his father who could draw, and sketch when he wanted to very well.
She had come across Vincent's sketch books not too long ago while trying to
houseclean his chamber a while he was off with a work crew for a week. She and
Mary had both decided it needed it bad.
Under the bed she had found the sketchbooks, and art supplies. In the
earlier ones there had been many pictures of Catherine, either drawn when she
was alive, or from memory. All very tasteful, modest, idyllic came to mind
looking at them. His ivory tower princess-- and it showed. There were many
pictures of the people Below, fantasy scenes, and characters, landscapes Below,
and a few of the Park, or other places. What had floored her were the ones of
her, evidently done over the years, which had to all, have been from memory, as
she had never sat for him. It was like looking at a time machine of how he
thought of her then, and now as well as what he thought of their relationship.
In the beginning she was this heroic figure with blazing guns, or alone, self
absorbed with her computer working away. Then there were ones with her, and
Jacob as he grew in settings both Above, and Below. Scenes he could only have
done from her description of events, and happenings with people. She saw
herself in every kind of mood, and pose, including the time she had tried
curling her hair, and dressing up for a Winterfest one year. There was one of
her alone, and then of the two of them dancing later which never happened that
year. She picked up the last sketch book, and almost feel over, glad she was
alone in the room before she opened it. There were a number of nudes--he had
seen her once, or twice, and he definitely made her look better than she
thought she looked. The ones that really got to her were the ones where he was
holding her, lovingly, possessively, sharing moments, and making love to her.
He may have kept her at arms length for years in reality, but his imagination
was working overtime on what he really wanted to be doing. The revelations in the books gave her a lot
to think about, but in the end she decided not to confront him on him, and put
the sketch pads back where she had found them after she cleaned out the beyond
massive dust bunnies from under his bed. If he had noticed she had seen his
sketchbooks he had never brought them up.
Diana focused back on the card in her hand
instead of her wandering memories. Looking at it-- Jacob had drawn her? Or at
least it appeared to be her. The red hair was a give away even though she was
wearing a long flowing green gown standing on a rocky cliff with her back
towards the viewer looking at a peaceful sunlit valley with a castle in the
distance, and a rainbow arching over it. She opened it, and inside he had
written: To my most wonderful Di', who has always been my mom, always been
there for me, and Dad no matter what, I wish you all the happiness, and joy of
this special day, your birthday. And even though forty seems old, you will ever
be the same to me. May you get what your heart desires, and much more. I love
you always, your loving--almost son, Jacob.
She was damn near sniffling by the time
she got through reading the simple card, as she hastily wiped the tears from
her eyes with her sleeve. From behind her Vincent had come up, and was handing
her a Kleenex, which she took and wiped her eyes, and nose. "Please thank
Jacob for the card. It was beautiful," she said as she got herself under
control.
"He worked very hard at that card,
trying to do get the right artistic view as he called it. In the box are two
presents one he made himself, and one he had me make for him," he said, keeping
an air of mystery about the gifts she was about to open. "William was
disappointed that you left early. He had made you a special 'death by chocolate
cake'. And everyone had surprises for you," he told her, understanding why
she had left.
"I just couldn't stay," she said
with a catch in her voice finally, not turning, and facing him, or really
wanting to discuss what had happened in the cave earlier as she went on, and
carefully opened the package, not tearing it as everyone always reused all the
paper.
"I know," he said, and his voice
sounded sad. "I had wanted to come, and take you to the party, but I saw
that you wished to be alone, so I respected your wishes, and left," he
added, with a sigh, trying to dampen down his own reactions, and feelings.
"I knew when you came, and when you
left. It wasn't that I wanted to alone, it was because I was alone," she
said flatly, and felt his startlement as well as the mental gears shifting in
his head.
Changing the subject before it got too
deep for both of them she finally opened the box lifting out the first item. It
was a hand carved jewelry box with Celtic knots, and designs on it the deep
rich oak wood. "Wow! Jacob made this?" she asked surprised, admiring
the beautiful work, and finishing.
"Yes, with a few pointers from
Cullen. He thought it appropriate with your Irish--Celtic roots. He picked out
the knot work, and did all the work. It has taken him several months to do it.
Cullen was very impressed," Vincent said proudly also admiring his son's handiwork.
"Look inside," he requested, and she did.
Inside was a large green crystal on a
golden chain. Diana picked it up, and it tingled in her hand. She turned around
looking at him questioningly. "Did Jake do this too?" she asked,
feeling it send warm, happy vibrations through her.
"Yes, and no. He found the crystal in
one of the caverns far Below when we were camping. On our way back we stopped
at Narcissa's. She asked to see it, and took it for a few minutes. When she
returned it it had this chain on it. I am not sure what she did to it, but she
told us both to make sure we gave this to you this night. So in a way it is
from her as well," he almost apologized to her.
"It's not bad," she reassured
him, "it's very pleasant, and I don't think Narcissa would intentionally
do something that might harm me." Diana then took it, slipping the chain
over her head to let the green almost emerald crystal lie against her chest. So
far since the initial tingle when she had first picked it up she hadn't gotten any
other feelings off the stone.
"Okay, it seems cool. I still have your present to go, unless you
want me to wait on it?" she questioned, and he shook his head.
Turning back to the counter she lifted a flattish
package out wrapped in white paper, and lightly taped. It was going to be a picture, or photo of
some kind, that much was obvious from the shape, and size. When she got the paper off, and turned it
over it was a picture, a portrait rather in a carved frame. It was the subject
matter that made her catch her breath. It was all in color, and very
realistically done. It was her, and Vincent together. He was sitting, leaning
against his pillows on his bed, the stained glass window behind him as he was
reading. His arm was around her waist while she was curled up next to him in
tunnel clothes, her head on his shoulder, one arm stretched across his broad
chest, relaxed, but with a hint of possessiveness to it, looking radiantly
happy. In the foreground was Jacob on the floor looking back at them with a
happy smile. She turned around, her eyes full of questions.
Vincent looked acutely embarrassed now,
with a tinge of red on his checks. And yes, he could blush, as she made him do
it many times over the years. "Jacob pestered me for months to do this for
him. It's the way he sees us, as a family, together Below. It's his dreams, and
wishes. He tried to do a picture himself, but got frustrated, so he asked me to
do it for him the way he wanted--it to be. I just hope this has not offended
you, Diana," he said slowly, looking up at her from under his concealing
bangs.
She laughed, really throwing him into
confusion. "No, it's wonderful. I love it, and your artwork is quite
breathtaking," she managed to say, giving him a smile. "So this was all his idea?" she
questioned, raising an eyebrow as she took in the careful details of hands,
expressions, and general mood of the picture.
"For the most part. He described it
in detail, and I made sketches until I got it right."
"You have a very good imagination,
and memory," she commented, still admiring. She looked at the hopeful
picture in awe, and wishful longing.
He shrugged, still a little uncertain what
she was feeling, or thinking about so intimate a subject. "I tried to talk
him out of it, but he said for your special day you must have a special gift,
and since there were no photos of all three of us together, I must make this
for him, and for you," he said carefully.
"And for yourself?" she asked.
"In a way," he admitted, and
then he looked down not being able to meet her eyes.
She could tell she wasn't going to get
anything more than out of him, and it was going to be another frustrating night
if he stayed. "Well, it's a wonderful present, Vincent. I will treasure it
more than you will ever know. Tell Jacob I love it, and understand what he
wants, just wish I could give it to him. Does he understand why?" she
asked, getting a bit more blunt than she meant to.
"I have explained--many times,"
he said turning from her.
Turning back to the counter before she
burst into tears again, she had to spit it out. She couldn't hold it back any
longer, "Good, maybe you can explain it to me because I just wish the
hell, I understood what the problem was after all these years," she said
her hands clenched into fists on the counter.
"Catherine," he said, finally.
"Yeah, I know. Should be used to it,
accept it, but dammit, Vincent, she's gone, and I'm not. I love you, I will
always love you. I have been here since the get go for you, and for Jacob. It's been twelve years, and I'm still here,
never gone anywhere and won't. And I know you care; I know you feel because you
can't hide that from me. I get your dreams, your fantasies, but I never get the
reality of those dreams, and fantasies. That gets real rough at lot of times.
Hell, you even draw about what you want to do, but you never act upon your
feelings. Even your son, and family want us together, and can't figure out why
after all this time we're not, not even once. What the hell is the problem, is
it me, scared of sex, letting your guard down, feel like you'll dishonor dear
old Cathy if you dare touch me? What?" she asked, losing her temper, and
crying at the same time.
She could tell she hit nerves, yeah, she
meant to do that. About time. He was alternating between anger, embarrassment,
and deep sorrow, just like her. She
felt him come closer to stand behind her, waves of strong, heavy, indefinable
emotions coming off of him, though confused, and angry were coming out the
strongest more than anything. Then suddenly she felt almost an inner snap, like
he just couldn't hold out, hold off any more, and had to do something, and he
did. He was turning her around to face him, and drew her tight against him as
he bent, and kissed her solidly on the lips, then deepened the kiss. Once she
got over her initial shock of him actually kissing her, and before he could
change her mind, and back off, she wrapped her arms around his waist, and held
on to him. She wasn't going to let him get away now.
It was everything she had ever expected
would happen, and more as the kiss continued, then they lost themselves in it
without fear, or barriers for once like in her dreams, like in the vision of the
song she had heard earlier at the waterfall. She was feeling it all the way to
her toes, as she knew he was too by their inner connection. Like light
rebounding back, and forth, all colors of the rainbow, and it felt like music,
harmonics, like one of those soaring orchestral pieces that he so loved--it
felt like that, and more. Like everything, and more was crammed into such a
simple, sweet pleasure. If this was the
warm up, what was the finale going to be like, she wondered, and after losing
herself in this vast sea of love, and joy she quit even questioning it, just
wanting more. Finally, they had to come
up for air, and she looked up at him more than a little dazed, smiling giddily.
His sky blue eyes regarded her with a similar dazed expression, like quiet
wonder, and just the slightest bit of fear for this unknown path they were now
embarking on. "You kiss good," she bubbled like the happy idiot she
was, breaking the tension.
He quirked an eyebrow, amused, rather than
insulted. "I do?"
She nodded grinning, "been taking
lessons, somewhere?" she teased, and he saw she was joking.
He shook his head, smiling down at her,
"no, but I do wish to take some, if the teacher is willing," he
teased, he could at least tease, and be teased now. That much the years
together had wrought.
"Oh, very willing," she happily
replied, reaching up, putting her arms around his shoulders, and lifting up to
kiss him on those unique lips, then feeling him respond in return. By the time
that kiss was through he had her backed up against the kitchen counter, and
there was no doubt whatsoever of his interest, nor her response to that
interest. He didn't flinch when she slid a hand under his now loosened shirt,
running her fingers through the soft fur on his back, if anything that got him
more interested. Nor did she pull back when she felt a clawed hand slide up her
mid section going towards her breasts.
"Diana, I love you--I want you--I
need you," he rumbled passionately with still a slight note of fear in
that thickened voice against her cheek, his lips brushing across her face,
burying himself into her fiery hair, still damp from her shower.
She heard the words, and almost lost it
right then, and there. He was finally saying all the things she had being
wanting to hear from him for years. It was like some sort of inner dam had
broken, though she wasn't sure why, or how it had happened, only that it had,
and was. She could feel his sincerity through their connection, his unshakeable
sense of this being the right time. That this moment in time, and the fear that
at the last moment she would reject him, or it would go hideously wrong somehow
that he'd hurt her despite all the love, and caring between them--was
nonexistent. But still she had to slow him down, and make sure that this was
what he really wanted. For once they crossed the invisible line they had
honored all these years there was going to be no turning back--there couldn't
be for either one of them if there had ever been a turning back point ever in
their relationship for either.
"I want you, and love you too,"
she said finding her voice and managing to speak. "Do you know what you
are doing, babe?" she had to ask to make sure, make very sure this was
what he really wanted, that somehow he hadn't slipped back to the 'Other', who
hadn’t resurfaced for over ten years now.
That startled him, and he did stop
nuzzling on her neck long enough to regard her with some surprise. "Yes,
very much. This is something I should have done long before this. Do you wish
me to stop?" he questioned, searching her face as well as her mind.
"No, I just wanted to make sure you
knew what you were doing, and you won't be all full of regret afterward,"
she said gently and carefully.
He nodded, understanding, cupping his hand
under her chin, and caressing it tenderly with a taloned finger. "You are
reasonable as always," he nodded with a small smile. "Yes, Diana, I
am fully aware of what I am doing. It is all me, and from my heart. And no, if
this happens, I will have no regrets. I already have too many regrets for all
the wasted time I have put us both through. This is a decision that I had made
while I was working on your gift. As the picture I made came from my own soul,
and mind. It is what I, too, had been wishing for, and denying myself. Doing
the picture, I confronted the truth I had not wanted to admit, or acknowledge
before, but had to because my feelings for you are that real, that alive. I had been wrestling with the truth for a
very long time, but we have also gotten so set in our ways of dealing with one
another, I did not know how to approach you, or talk to you about my change of
heart. Recently, there has never seemed to be the right time between our work,
and family... there has been little time when it has just been you, and I ...
uninterrupted for any amount of time," he told her truthfully.
She gave a slight smile to his words,
"yeah, we do tend to get over peopled, or we're hip deep in work--mine, or
yours. We haven't done much together; just the two of us for a very long time,
except maybe watch an adult level movie together. The last time we went camping
together was--what three or four years ago, and Jake was too young to go along.
That was a very tense trip, if I remember. Never did get too far down that
river, or where we were going."
He looked embarrassed again, "No, we
didn't. I was having a hard time controlling my desire for you then. I was
afraid of it. You had just gotten through with that horrible Hammond case, and
were very vulnerable, not in control of yourself. I felt that it was not the
right time, and backed off, which got you madder, then it went down hill from
there."
She ducked her head. "Yeah, a bad
case of miscommunication as I needed you, and got terribly frustrated, then it
all started rebounding between us, didn't it?" she asked, noticing he was
still holding her, and wasn't backing off despite the seriousness of the
conversation now.
"It did. But I got cold feet as you
colorfully put it, and couldn't approach you so, I called the camping trip off.
I have always wondered what would have happened if I had led more with my heart
instead of my mind as I did then. I have decided not to make that mistake any
more. I cannot have, and haven't had a life without you in it. You are the one
that has kept me sane, helped me to find my way when I was lost in myself. I
have grown exceedingly weary of sleepless nights alone, counting the cobwebs on
the ceiling, and feeling your, through our bond, the same as mine. I still do
not know if it is possible to us to be together as man and woman. I still
cannot recall mine, and Catherine's time together. What I do know of love
making has been from only the movies, and books I have read."
"And you've gotten an eyeful on them,
and wouldn't let me fast forward," she smirked, deviling him and he
flushed confirming her suspicions. "It always used to bug me that you
never reacted, not once. You would just kind of sit there, vibrating inside. I
could tell the movies were getting to you, but never did you respond, or make a
move on me. Though I did notice you left as soon as possible, and we both ended
up taking very cold showers."
So she did know. He was not surprised. He
grinned a little at that, thinking about the nights he had spent considerable
time swimming in the icy cold waters of the falls, because he dared not act
upon his feelings, and desires. No, no more after this night, that he had
firmly decided. Somehow he would cross the barriers that had kept them from
both finding happiness. "I know, and I apologize for what I have put us
both through for so many years. Even Father has more sense than I do. It's been
several years now that he, and Mary have finally gotten to be together, and
they have never regretted it. It warms my heart to see the two of them so happy
now. He told me not to make the same mistakes that he had, to enjoy all that
life has to offer, and not sit on the sidelines watching it," Vincent told
her.
"I know I was delighted when they did
get together. Except I had hoped that would motivate you, but you weren't ready
yet," she said looking up at him, her arms still around his neck, enjoying
him just holding her this close, and intimately.
He sighed, shaking his head, "no, I
wasn't. I thought about it a lot though but couldn't. I still had much to work
out within my own head, and then you were always so hip deep in work. But that was then, and now is now. I still
do not know how this will work out, but I am willing to at least try for both
our sakes," he admitted, stroking her face with a gentle claw tipped
finger, his blue eyes full of love, serious, yet tender, with just a hint of
scared reflected in them.
Diana met his eyes feeling very much the
same way, losing herself in their azure depths, and felt him draw her closer to
her, then he bent his head down, kissing her letting her know he was not going
to back off unless that was what she wished. Diana definitely did not wish it
as she responded back with her owns wants, and desires meeting him, letting her
joy, as well as happiness rebound into him. Then before she knew what was
happening he had swooped her up in his arms, carrying her to her bedroom with
determined sure steps. Inwardly she grinned, as she had been about ready to
make that suggestion.
Almost reverently, he laid her on her bed
then came, then laid himself next to her. She had given up the futon for a
little higher off the ground regular queen size bed. One too many broken bones, bruises, and scrapes, along with age
related aches, and pains had convinced her different sleeping arrangements for
herself were needed. For the moment he was propped up on an elbow looking down
at her, his expression unreadable. But
inwardly Diana could feel the uncertainty beginning to creep in, as she could
tell he was at a loss of what to do next. There were the movies, and there was
real life. In between was practice at this he had never had. Hell, it been so
long she'd almost forgotten how herself. Suggestions were definitely called for
before he bolted for the door, and never tried ever again. That she was not
going to let happen.
"Babe, just hold me. Just let
whatever happens happen. Don't plan it out," she smiled reassuredly,
holding her arms out for him to come to her so she could just hold him, no
demands, no pressure, just the two of them being together.
Vincent visibly relaxed, and went willing
into her arms, one arm slipping under her around her waist, and the other
sliding up to her shoulder as he laid his head on her chest just under her
collarbone. Diana wrapped her arms around his broad back, lightly rubbing her
hands down it, feeling how tense he was, like a coiled spring. "It'll be
okay," she promised him kissing him lightly on the top of his head since
he had her pretty thoroughly pinned down.
"I believe you. I trust you, and I
believe in what we feel for one another," he said, lifting up a little to
look up at her, the scared still in his eyes. One hand came up to slowly stroke
her cheek, tracing the lines around and around her ear to trail down her chin
line, making her shiver a little because she was ticklish there.
"I do too, I always have. Don't you
know by now how much I love you? You, and Jacob have been the two most
important people in my life," she told him turning her head slightly to
kiss the palm of his hand.
His eyes were serious, and so blue as he
let his feelings shine through. "I know. I've always known that. And I
have loved you since the first time we met. I just could not let myself . . .
let go," he said finally as he lifted himself up to kiss her fully on the
lips, letting her know how much he did love her, and finally did want her. And
he gave himself into the kiss; letting down his inner barriers to met her
fully, to reach out to her on levels they had usually shut down within
themselves for that was the only way it could be with them. For both of them it
was going to be all, or nothing. There were no half way measures, and no way to
stop the feedback loop that was going to happen once the barriers they had put
up over the years to have some measure of privacy from the other because of
their empathic abilities started coming down.
On her side she was letting down her own
barriers, letting him know all that she was, had been, and hoped to be to him,
for him, and themselves together. She was fire, burning fire, a flame, and a
glow rainbow of colors within his brilliant white light as well as in his
darkness. For both of them still had their own measures of darkness contained
within their souls by deeds, and acts committed in the name of love, or
justice. This they had finally come to terms with, and accepted as fact that
could not be denied, or excused. It had happened. It was, and could not be
erased, or expunged from their souls, only the facts lived with as best as they
could with no excuses, or apologies. It was part of them, but it did not
control them, or their lives, or their being unless they allowed the darkness,
and horrors to do so. And this night
neither was going to let the darkness in, nor could it overtake the light, the
love, and joy they felt.
His lips went from hers trailing downward
across her throat, to her collarbone where she felt the slight nip of his
canines. His free hand also trailed downward across her breast, and lower until
it went under her sweat pants band, and traveled back upward to her bare breast
under his questing hands. From within their inner bond he felt reassurance, the
urging for him to go on, and continue unafraid as he touched her nipple, and it
hardened under his touch. She felt it all the way inside, an answering response,
and it heightened her need.
Her hands had also trailed downward, and
under his shirt feeling the soft short fur on his back, stroking it, and
feeling his exotic responses to her touch, her nails ran through the thicker
hair along his spine. He shivered under her hands as her hand went further,
slipping under his belt. She felt him stiffen, and then relax within a measure
of a heartbeat. The old fears were still there, but he was fighting them,
determined to not let them win. He rolled her over on top of him, and took her
sweatshirt off before she could react, or help. She looked down, and saw his
wicked grin, proud with himself that he had surprised her. Giving him a grin of
her own she began untying the lacing on his over shirt. Once the ties were
loosed he lifted up enough to let her help him out of it along with his under
tunic.
Now they were bare chest to bare chest,
and it felt real good on both sides they both decided inwardly. She sat up, straddling
his waist and started unbuckling his belt, noting he was decided interested.
With the fiction of her movements his 'interest' was intensifying, as were his
reactions. Vincent's look was hungry, wanting; yet still there was still a part
of him holding back, trying to take in all the new sensations he was feeling
from his body as well as the wide openness of their connection.
Leaning forward she kissed him and felt
his hands around her waist, which began to inch her sweats down her bare hips
since he hadn't bothered to put on panties. Lightly his claws danced across her
flat stomach and she felt his other hand glide across her rear to finally cup
her bottom and lift her up while the other hand quickly took her sweats off and
threw them across the room and set her bare bottom back down on his obvious
interest.
She arched an eyebrow amused at how
quickly he was catching on as she trailed kisses down his neck, throat, and
bare chest feeling him purr, and pant at each touch. "You could get naked
too," she suggested with a grin looking up at him through her still
slightly damp loose hair.
"Yes," he panted, having
problems breathing, and concentrating as he met her eyes with his smoldering
azure ones. Diana moved back a little so he could reach down and unbuckle his
belt, and then unzip his tight jeans. From there she helped him get the pants
off and they too landed on the floor. He lay back on her bed watching her with
an anxious expression. He was suddenly shy, never being naked in her presence,
worried about her reaction to all of him.
"What's wrong, Babe?" Diana
asked kneeling beside him on the bed, feeling his passion die down, and waves
on uncertainty flowing through him now once they were both naked.
"I've never done this, Diana. Never
showed myself like this to anyone. I still cannot recall my time with Catherine
when Jacob was conceived. All these years that time has haunted me...what I
did, or didn't do...if I hurt her...if she hid the pain and shame because our
bond was gone. Her hesitancy to not tell me she was pregnant the last time I
saw her. I know she had something on her mind and wanted to talk but I was so
full of my own pain and confusion...I guess she decided to wait until she felt
there was a better time to tell me, especially at the time I couldn't even
recall her name.... Maybe, this was a bad idea, Diana. Even at this time with
you I still want to talk about her...when it should only be about me... and
you," he said sadly starting to get up.
Diana put her hand against his chest
holding him in place, looking at him, and shaking her head. "No, you
aren't going anywhere. WE have to get past this one way or another. YOU have to
get past this. Think I'm not scared, nervous too. I know you don't know, or
remember what happened, and nothing we've tried over the years has had any luck
breaking past whatever mental barriers you have in place over that memory, so
we go on, and make out own memories. I personally think you are drop dead
gorgeous, and always have liked your body. I am definitely liking the view
right now, and am in no way turned off--got it?" she asked, still holding
him down and running her fingers through his chest thick reddish gold hair.
He raised an eyebrow surprised, looking at
her, seeing that she was serious, he replied, "yes." He reached down
and captured her hand and lifted it to his lips, kissing it. "You like
what you see?"
"Vincent, I have always liked what
I've seen of you, from the beginning. Being with you like this has been my
dream, my fantasy, and my most cherished hope," she said moving closer to
him, her small breasts resting on his chest. "I just wish I had a better
body to offer you. It's old, skinny, and kind of battle worn with all my
scars," she told him, feeling inadequate, wishing she had a better body.
"It's beautiful...you are beautiful,
Diana," he told her kissing her hand once again and drawing her closer to
him to kiss the tip of her nose. "Never doubt that. To me you have always
been perfection just the way you are. I am so sorry I have made us wait all
this time because of my fears."
"But we're here now, together. Let's
just take it slow, no rush, no having to do anything...just let yourself
be," she said kissing him, and feeling him kiss her back, his arms around
her drawing her closer to him, as their contained for too long passions started
bursting free as they kissed. Already she could feel her toes curl as his
tongue invaded her mouth, igniting fires in her soul, and body that wanted to
burn, be consumed by him.
His hands began roving down her back and
the length of her body as he explored what he had only dreamed of touching,
doing with her and marveling at her response and wanting of his still hesitant
touch. Gradually he grew bolder, allowing their bond to open, and letting him
feel what she wanted him to do. Diana was a fine instrument under his questing
hands that he was learning, and quickly mastering the melody. He, too, was
being touched, being brought alive and aware of how good it was to have another
touch him in intimate ways, as her hands roamed over his hard muscled body,
marveling at the contrasts between smooth skin, and lightly furred expanses.
There was do doubt he was a man. Why he had ever thought else wise, she had to
blame his own, and others fears for instilling a deep shame of his body, and
deriving any physical pleasure from it.
Diana allowed him to do whatever he
wanted, to explore, to nuzzle, touch, lick and taste every part of her until
she was jelly and exploding over and over under the onslaught of his very
talented, lips and hands. She'd known it would be good, but this was beyond any
of her fevered daydreams of how they would be together. God,...was he good. She
was boneless now, and very ready for him as he paused suspended above her, his
erection throbbing against her entrance. He smiled down at her happy that he
was the cause of her joy, and that she still wanted him, all of him in every
way. Still he hesitated at the last barrier of them being one together, still
not sure how this final act would change them.
She reached up, and caressed his face with
her hand, "Vincent, I want you. It's okay to take it all the way. Complete
us," she softly begged him.
He dipped his head, and kissed her, taking
heart with her words as slowly her entered her ready moistness. Then he was in
her, fully sheathing himself within her, flooded with sensations and feelings
from this simple act. Cautiously he began moving slowly, feeling her inner
walls tighten around his thick shaft as she moved with him. It was like nothing
he had ever felt, it was flying, it was music, it was pleasure magnified to
almost unbearable wonderfulness, that opened the floodgates of his soul to her,
and being in oneness to her, to them. There were no words to adequately
described the joy, wonder, and bliss he was feeling, they were feeling as
Diana's soul was right there with him, matching him, soaring in waves of
endless all encompassing joyful sensation, being with him in a wondrous cocoon
of unending love, and ecstasy. They soared to heights he, she, they, never
imagined to explode in a perfect moment of being, in total love, merging,
becoming one that was beyond anything either could have thought possible.
Slowly they spiraled downward riding the downward waves of their after glow as
they collapsed together, totally spent.
It was several long minutes later before
either could move, or speak. Slowly, Vincent raised his very tangled mane of
hair off Diana's chest, smiling at her curved lips, and closed eyes, feeling her
total contentment, and radiating joy, knowing he was the reason...they together
were the reason. He had never felt so alive, so fulfilled, so in a way adult.
As he had definitely left all innocence behind this night, and fully understood
what the poets and writers of old had spoke of so well. And this is what he had
been afraid of... of this incredible joy. He could kick himself over, and over
for being such an idiot, and denying both of them this wholeness that they had
both needed and craved because of his stupid fears. Never, never again, he
swore to himself.
He saw Diana was looking at him cautiously
from under half lidded eyes, waiting to see him he was going to bolt, or stay.
"Hi," she said carefully with both a hint of lingering happiness, and
worry about him.
"Hi, Vincent replied, smiling back to
reassure her that everything was okay. "I love you," he added and she
smiled.
"I love you, too. You okay?" she
asked, her eyes fully opening as he moved off of her, and moved to lay on his
side beside her.
"Yes, very. And you?
Everything all right?" he asked concerned.
"Very. So...was it good, bad, you
didn't blank out, and forget?" she asked, raising an eyebrow as she turned
towards him, wanting to check her impressions of how good their lovemaking had
been.
He gently brushed a strand of her now
wildly tangled brick red hair back from her forehead, resting that arm on the
curve of her waist. He smiled reassuringly at her, shaking his head, "no,
I definitely didn't blank out, or forget...I very much remember every wonderful
sensation, every moment, and being with you, only you, as our souls, hearts,
and bodies joined, my love. It was very, very good," he grinned, his eyes
twinkling in delight, and love at her.
Diana let out the breath she had been
holding, relaxing now that he pronounced that everything was okay, and he was
okay. "Yeah, it was very, very good on my end too, better than good as
Mouse would say," she smiled back at him, leaning forward to kiss him on
the lips.
He kissed her back, his hand encircling
her head, bringing her closer to him as he deepened the kiss letting all his
love flow into her before he let he go.
"Wow," was all Diana could say
as he remembered to breath again. "So it wasn't as bad as you thought it
was going to be?" she had to ask.
"It was wondrous, and I was, and have
been a fool for denying us both this joy for so long. If I had known...,"
he sighed, angry with himself, berating himself for his stupidity.
"Well..., there's not too much I can
say to that. You had to wait until YOU were ready. I'm so proud that you did
finally face your fears. And I'm hoping that this is not going to be a one time
thing...," she said, afraid he might decide never to make love again.
"No, never. Don't even think that.
You have opened my eyes to a whole brand new world that I fully want to explore
with you...that is if you want me to?" he asked, suddenly uncertain,
trying to reach through their bind to see what she was feeling.
"Babe, I totally want to explore it
all with you, never doubt that. I love you; I love making love with you. You
are incredible, we are together something that I never imagined, beyond any
dreams, or fantasies I have had," Diana told him sincerely her gray eyes
meeting his in total love, and acceptance of him, themselves.
He dunked his head a little embarrassed at
her compliments, "And I enjoy making love to you and I wish to continue
doing so for forever. Will you do me the honor of being my wife, Diana?"
he asked, surprising her.
"Ahh, yeah,...yes, I will...I want to
be...your wife. Yes, Vincent," she stuttered, suddenly overwhelmed by his
offer, looking like a started deer as she replied.
He just smiled, knowing he had taken Diana
by surprise on his offer of marriage, but it had been something he had been
thinking about for quite a long time along with making love to her, though he
had planned to marry her before bedding her. "Good, I will speak to Father
when I return tomorrow and see about arranging it. I would like it sooner than
later, just in case...," he said.
"In case of what?" she asked,
curious, tilting her head to look at him.
"I may have made you with child. We
did not use precautions," he told her pointedly.
She flinched, "yeah, I kind of
forgot, and as nervous as we both were I was afraid suggesting something would
have freaked you out and discouraged you from even giving it a shot," she
apologized.
"And you haven't been on birth
control pills for a long while, at least five years," he volunteered;
again surprising her that he knew that fact. She had quit taking them after she
had given up trying to date other men and had settled on waiting on him or
living alone the rest of her life. Plus they had begun to mess with her
biochemistry, plus the risks of developing breast cancer if she stayed on them
were always a worry. "Your scent was different when you were on
them," he explained, slightly embarrassed.
"Right," she sort of grinned,
knowing what it had taken for him to admit he sniffed her. "Okay, you got
me. But one time doesn't mean I'm instantly PG."
"Considering, it only took once to
conceive Jacob..., you may be already. Though, I do think that we will have
multiple times in our future life together to get it 'right' as they say,"
he said sincerely. "I have always known you wanted children, my children,
and you have been Jacob's unofficial mother all these years. If we do have
children, I know he would welcome a brother, or sister, as would everyone in
the community, as I will. You have been a wonderful loving mother to him and to
the other children as well."
She sat up next to him, resting her head
on her bent knees, looking at him, "I just hope I'm not too old to. I'm
not a kid anymore. Having kids after forty is going to be hard," she said
truthfully.
Vincent sighed, and nodded. "Yes, I
know. I have read about all the risks. But you will have care. Eric is
finishing his residency, and Harriet is registered nurse midwife, then there
are all the improvements to the medical chambers. There is one thing though...,"
he hesitated before speaking. "You may experience what Catherine did...an
accelerated pregnancy. One lasting six months, or you may have a normal one.
Then there is the possibility of a child looking like me...," he said
seriously.
"Which I would welcome as I welcome
you in my bed. You aren't the only one who has thought every bit of this out
inside, and every way of us being together. Let's face it, the older Jacob gets
the more he is like you except on the outside. He has your strength, stamina,
healing, vision, and hearing as well as your mind. Even his canines are longer
than normal, and his fingernails are stronger and tougher than normal. He is
your son as much as Catherine's. He knows he is different than other kids, but
within the community he is accepted because he is your son and it is expected
he be like you in some ways. He's learned to adjust, just as you had to learn
to adjust around other people. He is already aware that he carries your genes
and any children he may have could be like you, which to him is a 'cool' thing.
He's always been disappointed that he didn't look just like you and he looks
ordinary," she finished, looking at his stunned expression.
"He wants to look like me,
still?" Vincent asked incredibly, thinking they had settled that question
and problem years ago.
"Yelp, he still does. That's why he
resists everyone's attempt to cut his hair. But that may change in a couple of
years, or not. Your son is now a teenager with all that entails for good and
bad, she smiled.
He smiled back, thinking about his and
Devin's years.” And you will be there to help and guide him along his path
too," he said sagely, reaching out for her and taking her into his arms,
to settle her back down beside him. He kissed her hair, "You have made me
very happy this night, Diana. I have never felt so loved, so complete. Will it
always be this way between us, this joy?" he asked.
"If you are not so subtly asking if
we can make love again, yes, I would love to. Though first, I need to get up,
and go pee," she said, trying to rise up out of the shelter of his arms
around her, and finding that he was still holding on to her.
"You do promise to return?" he
asked with a raised eyebrow, teasing her.
"Definitely. Just give me a
minute," she replied, and with a sigh he loosened his hold on her. She
sprang out of the bed, sprinting to the bathroom.
Vincent was enjoying that neither one of
them were being body shy with each other as he sat up, and made himself more
comfortable in her bed readjusting the pillows and comforter. He definitely had
appreciated the view of her beautiful body as she walked past him. It was more
glorious than he had dreamed. He had seen her a few times in summer over the
years in sports bras, and shorts that left little to his imagination when he
had come to visit on hot nights. Usually he only stayed a short time between
the muggy, stifling temperatures, and the inner heat, the burning attraction he
felt for her as she entertained him or kept working. She never knew how many
times he wanted to act on his feelings, and do what he finally doing this
night. Now that he had broken his self imposed chains he felt freer than he had
ever felt in entire life, and he owed it all to her, and her determination to
stay in his life no matter the cost to her soul, and heart.
Diana came back finally heading for the
kitchen. "Want anything to drink while I'm up?" she asked.
"No, I just want you," Vincent
replied which got a big grin and almost blush out of her.
"Okay. I guess sex really does agree
with you. I haven't seen you this playful in a long time, or so happy."
Diana smiled; at him enjoying the view of a naked Vincent in her bed leaned
back against the headboard, not bothering covering up his golden toned
magnificent, muscled body. He looked very much at home with the situation, more
than he had thought the terminally body shy man would be.
"Maybe for the first time in a long
time I feel complete, content. I like this feeling. I am truly sorry I denied
both us this joy for so long. If I had not been such a coward all these
years...," he admitted. "Though it wasn't for your lack of trying to
get me to see the light. You have no idea of how close I came to giving in to
you so many times. But we'd either get interrupted by someone, or one of us
would back off," he sighed, hoping that she would understand. "It
wasn't that I didn't, and haven't wanted you all these years. I just
couldn't...make myself take the next step."
"And I respected you too much to push
it, even when I sensed you were willing. I know...lots of cold showers on both
sides, and wasted moments in time," she sighed, coming back to bed, and
sitting down next to him, deciding that that drink of water wasn't as important
as having this conversation with him. "For us, it had to be the right
time, or not at all. I've always known that. But the first move had to be
yours, not mine, or it was never going to happen. I am happy you got past your
fears tonight," she said leaning forward, and kissing him on his cheek.
"As I am. Do you forgive me for
making you wait so long?" he asked, searching her eyes.
"You know I do. And I look forward
now to a long life with you as your wife, and hopefully mother of your
children. Thank you, Vincent, for giving me the most wonderful night of my
life," she said kissing him, trying to hold back her tears of joy.
"Your welcome, my love, happy
birthday" he said, gathering her to him, kissing the top of her head as he
held her close to him, enjoying the luxury of being able to do this simple,
normal thing that he had wished, and dreamed of. He was home now with her in
his soul, and heart, with no regrets, no guilt, or worry he was betraying a
memory. Finally, he was able to put Catherine in a special place in his heart,
and finally move on with Diana so that they could build a real life together.
The End
Diana and Vincent Short
Stories